Sermons on Bad Jokes:

"How To Explain The Death Of A Gazelle?"

Contributed by Jerry Depoy on Oct 27, 2003

When bad things happen to good people, people can begin to draw "Bad" conclusions about the character of God, and in turn they begin to acting badly... Dorcas died, why?

Title: “How to explain the death of a Gazelle?” Text: Introduction: The meaning of the name of Dorcas is "Gazelle." It seems clear in scripture that Dorcas died a premature death. She died because of "sickness," not old age. Everyone seemed startled that God would allow the death of this ...read more

Scripture: Acts 9:36-42

Denomination: Baptist

Be Careful Little Eyes What You See Series

Contributed by Jeff Strite on Aug 24, 2008

This simple Children’s song has a powerful Biblical foundation in Ephesians 5, and helps to get us to see what God wants from us, and why.

OPEN LEADING CONGREGATION IN THIS CHILDREN’S SONG Oh, be careful little eyes, what you see, (repeat) For the Father up above, is looking down in love, Oh be careful little eyes what you see. Oh, be careful little mouth, what you say, (repeat), For the Father up above, is looking down in love, Oh ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 5:1-21

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

A Guarantee

Contributed by Davon Huss on Mar 16, 2009

A sermon on the Holy Spirit based from Ephesians 1:13-14 (Taken from Rusty Peterman from Truth for Today)

Sermon for 3/15/2009 Ephesians 1:13-14 Introduction: Phineas could not sleep. He was up before the sun. He had his bag packed, and he was downstairs, ready to begin the day. The year was 1820. Phineas was finally to see an island- his very own island. Phineas had received the island as a gift ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 1:13-14

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

How To Handle Anger

Contributed by David Dewitt on Dec 21, 2000

A Biblical approach to managing anger

How to handle anger Mark 11:12-19 September 6, 1998 Morning Service Introduction I. Mikey Mantle and Billy Martin’s hunting trip A. Go to Mantle’s friend’s farm: Mantle and Martin go out to the farm, when they arrive Mantle goes to speak with his friend, friend has a dying mule and asks Mantle to ...read more

Scripture: Mark 11:12-19

Denomination: Church Of God

Growing Old Gracefully

Contributed by Gene Haraldsen on Jul 15, 2004

Like it or not, all of us grow older...all of us age. Some enjoy joking about aging....but deep down inside growing old is something many dread....and fear.....and are willing to do anything to avoid.

Growing Older Gracefully Ecclesiastics 12:1-7 It seems to me that one of the things that some people joke about most in life is aging...One way we do this is by comparing our lives to our children’s lives. All of us have had our parents say things like: • In my day I walked to school up ...read more

Scripture: Ecclesiastes 12:1-7

Denomination: Assembly Of God

The Directionally Impaired Man

Contributed by Bruce Ferris on Jun 22, 2008

I am intrigued by the unwillingness of lost men to ask for directions. It is a complaint so common it is a frequent subject of jokes and TV comedies. Almost every woman has a story about a man who drove around for hours looking for someplace and refused

The Directionally Impaired Man In researching for this message, I came across a joke that is told about a couple relating their vacation experiences to a friend. "It sounds as if you had a great time in Texas," the friend observed. "But didn’t you tell me you were planning to visit Colorado?" ...read more

Scripture: Jeremiah 10:23-24

Denomination: Baptist

The Next Day

Contributed by David Richardson on Apr 2, 2005

People remember the next day because it indexes our life chronologically and it indexes our life emotionally. It stands in time as a point of transition from bad to good or from good to bad.

Title: The Next Day Scripture: Acts 21:1-26 Let someone pick a random day in your life and chances are you won’t be able to remember exactly what you were doing that day. But, ask any older American what they were doing on December 7th 1941 and they can tell you. Or ask someone what they were ...read more

Scripture: Acts 21:1-29

Denomination: Calvary Chapel

The Great Exchange

Contributed by Daniel King, D. Min. on Dec 21, 2017

This is an illustrated, evangelistic sermon for children designed to lead them to Jesus. This message illustrates how God takes bad things away from us and replaces the bad things with good gifts.

Characters: 1. A homeless man 2. Jesus Props: 1. Five Pillows 2. Five pillowcases that have the following words written in large letters with black ink: Sadness, Fear, Worry, Sickness, and Sin. 3. Five gift-wrapped packages that say: Joy, Faith, Hope, Healing, and Salvation. Illustrated ...read more

Denomination: Charismatic

Defeating Difficulties

Contributed by Dr. Odell Belger on Apr 7, 2022

Many of us have learned to categorize our days as GOOD DAYS or BAD DAYS! To listen to some folks talk, they seem to have more bad days than good days!

Illus: Someone said that YOU KNOW IT IS GOING TO BE A BAD DAY WHEN: • You call suicide prevention and they put you on hold • Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles • Your twin sister forgot your birthday • Your horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group ...read more

Scripture: Romans 8:14-18

Denomination: Baptist

Opportunistic Infections

Contributed by Maurice Mccarthy on Oct 15, 2012

Life can cut you wide open. More dangerous than the cuts of life, is the very real danger that spiritual bacteria will take advantage of the situation and turn a person from God.

Opportunistic Infections An opportunistic infection is an infection caused by pathogens, that take advantage of certain situations. These infections usually do not cause disease in a healthy host, a compromised immune system, however, presents an "opportunity" for the pathogen to infect. Today ...read more

Scripture: Luke 4:13

Denomination: Pentecostal

What Revelations Has To Say To The U.s. Church Series

Contributed by W Pat Cunningham on Nov 14, 2020

Do we have anything in common with the first-century church of Ephesus? Unfortunately, yes we do. Too much have we abandoned the love of Christ we had at first.

Monday of 33rd Week in Course 2020 In this penultimate week of the Church year, the Church gives us snippets from the Book of Revelations, the last and in some ways most difficult book of the New Testament. You see today the style of the letters; the ones we have this week are written to churches ...read more

Scripture: Revelation 1:1-4, Revelation 2:1-5, Psalm 1:1-6, Luke 18:35-43

Denomination: Catholic

Short Profile Of A Christian Abusing Husband Series

Contributed by Shaila Touchton on Jul 24, 2023

Abuse can occur verbally, mentally, psychologically, Financially, sexually, emotionally, spiritually, and culturally.

An abusive husband professes as a Believer is an expert in making false accusations, swearing falsely slandering, persistent arguing, harassing, backsliding, and tormenting their wife by twisting his wife's words and using them against her so that he can blame her if she confronts him. An ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 11:5, 1 Peter 3:7

The Parable Of The Wicked Husbandmen: Working The Fields While The Master Is Away Series

Contributed by Justin Steckbauer on Aug 22, 2022

We’ve talked a great deal about stewardship, and using our gifts for God. That’s vital to understand. Your giftings are entrusted to you by God. And you must make use of them for his glory.

"Once, a man said, "If I had some extra money, I'd give it to God, but I have just enough to support myself and my family." And the same man said, "If I had some extra time, I'd give it to God, but every minute is taken up with my job, my family, my clubs, and what have ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 21:33-45

Denomination: Salvation Army

All Things Work Together For Our Good

Contributed by William R. Nabaza on Jul 27, 2016

To show that GOD calls us and turns all things in our lives, whether good or bad, into good things.

I. EXORDIUM: Are you called according to His purpose? Yes. To endure both good and bad, for it will work together for my own good. II. AUDIENCE PROFILE: Believers/unbelievers III. OBJECTIVES: To show that GOD calls us and turns all things in our lives, whether good or bad, into good ...read more

Scripture: Romans 8:28

Denomination: Pentecostal

Do You Hear What I Hear? Series

Contributed by Thomas Swope on Oct 15, 2015

A study of the book of 1 Samuel 3: 1 – 21

1 Samuel 3: 1 – 21 Do You Hear What I Hear? 1 Now the boy Samuel ministered to the LORD before Eli. And the word of the LORD was rare in those days; there was no widespread revelation. 2 And it came to pass at that time, while Eli was lying down in his place, and when his eyes had begun to ...read more

Scripture: 1 Samuel 3:1-21

Denomination: Calvary Chapel