Contributed by C Jordan on Jan 5, 2008
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ILLUSTRATION: BREAKING IN BABY BY DAVE BERRY:
• There is a parallel between physical growth and the spiritual growth of a Christian.
We have a son who began as a baby and has successfully reached the age of three without becoming an axe murderer, as far as we know. Thus we are eminently qualified
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*other
Contributed by Michael Fordham on Oct 29, 2002
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A 3 year-old girl named Charlotte received a certificate of achievement following her last swimming class. When her dad came home from work that evening, the mom handed him the cherished award and said to the little girl, “Charlotte, would you like to tell your daddy what this is?” Charlotte
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Methodist
Contributed by Aubrey Vaughan on Feb 26, 2007
February 1980 the US Olympic ice hockey team slipped its foot into a glass slipper and walked away with a gold medal at Lake placid, New York. Beating The world best Russian team and then beating Finland in the final. Before the teams victory over Russia which advanced them into the finals, the
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Baptist
Contributed by Ken Harris on Feb 8, 2009
For instance, perhaps we can imagine overhearing Osama Bin Laden speaking to some of his Senior AQUI Operatives (and Bad Guys) in IRAQ: “Remember BROTHERS, when the chips are down, I’ll always be there for you. Unfortunately, the chips seem to be rather down at the moment; and at the rate the
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Pentecostal
Contributed by Ajai Prakash on Mar 3, 2009
Fortune-Teller and the Frog
A fortune-teller gazes into crystal ball and says to a frog: "You are going to meet a beautiful young woman. From the moment she sets eyes on you, she will have an insatiable desire to know all about you. She will be compelled to get close to you - you'll fascinate
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Bruce Howell on Apr 11, 2002
based on 27 ratings
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The Great Evangelist George Whitefield once asked a coal miner what he believed. “Oh,” the miner answered, “That’s easy. I believe what my church believes.” “And what does your church believe?” asked the evangelist. “Well, the church believes what I believe.” “But what do you believe?”
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Wesleyan
Contributed by Timothy Smith on Sep 8, 2002
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Once a circus performer each night would allow a huge Python snake to encircle him and then at the last moment he’d throw the Python off to the roar of the crowd. But one night when he went to throw off the snake he couldn’t and the crowd watched in horror as the snake squeezed the life out of him.
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Christian Church
Contributed by Dan Cormie on Oct 25, 2002
based on 21 ratings
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There are three kinds of Christians:
(1) Row-boat Christians—struggling in their own power; stop to rest for a while, only to find that the current has taken them back where they started.
(2) Sail-boat Christians—let the wind do all the work; enjoy the high moments, But what happens
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Mennonite
Contributed by Paul Fritz on Jun 10, 2001
As Abraham Lincoln prepared to sign the Emancipation Proclamation, he took his pen, moved it to the signature line, paused for a moment, and then dropped the pen. When asked why, the president replied, "If my name goes into history, it will be for this act, and if my hand trembles when I sign it,
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Opening illustration: Dead Poets Society
Time 14:00-18:22 Mr. Keating gathers his English class in the hallway of the school, telling them to look closely at the pictures of the alumni on the wall: all photos of once invincible, hopeful students, now dead. Mr. Keating asks the students what they
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Pat Cook on May 16, 2005
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The Wesleyan Bible Commentary puts it this way: “The eternal one, caught in a moment of time. The Omnipresence corralled in a cave manger. The Omnipotent cradled in a helpless infant who could not even raise His head from the straw. The Omniscience confined in a baby who would not say a word. The
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Baptist
Contributed by Tim Richards on Sep 3, 2005
The famous preacher John Killinger & his wife attended a small country funeral where the pastor got up & for most of the 15 minute sermon talked about the horrors of hell & how tragic it was that the deceased was probably burning there at that very moment. When they left John complained & his wife
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Baptist
Contributed by Glenn Teal on Dec 10, 2005
Ever watch your kids – maybe they don’t see you and they do something wrong like on America’s Funniest Home Videos. There was this sweet little girl maybe 4 or 5 who is video taped stealing from the cookie jar and is interupted cookie in hand. At the moment of her getting caught she screams at
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Free Methodist
Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 18, 2010
THE FROG FUTURE
A frog went to see a fortune-teller, Gazing into her crystal ball, she said to frog, "You are going to meet a beautiful young woman. From the moment she sets eyes on you she will have an insatiable desire to know all about you. She will be compelled to get close to you—you’ll
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Brethren
Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 21, 2010
FIEDLER'S FORECASTING RULES
1. It is very difficult to forecast, especially about the future.
2. He who lives by the crystal ball soon learns to eat ground glass.
3. The moment you forecast, you know you’re going to be wrong--you just don’t know when and in which direction.
4. If you’re ever
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Brethren
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