In Sermon Illustrations: "preacher jokes" showing 441-460 of 1,735

We Must Be Careful Not To Gather Around Us Bible ...

Contributed by Warner Pidgeon on Oct 12, 2005

We must be careful not to gather around us Bible teachers who will tickle our ears, teaching us what we want to hear, or seeking out ‘Great speakers’. No one has done this to me yet but I heard about the little boy who went up to the preacher at the end of the service and gave him a £5 note. The ...read more

Tags: Love Of The Disciples

Denomination: Anglican

Comedian Flip Wilson Told A Story About A ...

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007

Comedian Flip Wilson told a story about a preacher and his church. A preacher was trying to get his people to be more enthusiastic about their church. The preacher said in his sermon: "If this church is going to get anywhere, it has to learn to crawl." The people said, "Let it crawl, Rev., let it ...read more

Tags: Giving General

The Greed Trap

Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 10, 2011

THE GREED TRAP It is true that sin is a self snare. In a move against the Mafia’s control of the Fulton Fish Market in New York City, the case was broken open when investigators discovered that the mob boss had transferred $168,000 from a high interest fund to a low interest bank account so that ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 10:1-18

Tags: Greed

A Friend In Montana Told Me About A Sheepherder ...  PRO

Contributed by Josh Hunt on Feb 13, 2012

A friend in Montana told me about a sheepherder who discovered oil on his land and became enormously rich. One of the first things he bought was a Rolls Royce limousine, the kind usually driven by a chauffeur who sits in front of a glass partition. When the sheepherder brought this splendid car in ...read more

Scripture: Luke 16:13

Tags: Money, Materialism

Denomination: Baptist

Not Encouraging

Contributed by Sermon Central on May 12, 2011

NOT ENCOURAGING A young couple, very much in love, were getting married in church. However, the bride was very nervous about the big occasion and so the preacher chose one verse that he felt would be a great encouragement to them. The verse was 1 John 4:18 which says: "There is no fear in love. ...read more

Scripture: 1 John 4:18

Tags: Weddings

Funny Church Feuds

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Nov 14, 2021

Church feuds are not uncommon, especially among cliques in the congregation. But when the pastor and choir director get into it, stand aside. One week, the preacher preached on commitment, and how you should dedicate yourselves to service. The director then led the choir in singing, 'I Shall ...read more

Scripture: Philippians 2:1-11

Tags: Church Fights, Division, Hymns, Unity

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

How Not To Get Out Of ...

Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 11, 2009

How Not To Get Out of Problems When the preacher’s car broke down on a country road, he walked to a nearby roadhouse to use the phone. After calling for a tow truck, he spotted his old friend, Frank, drunk and shabbily dressed at the bar. "What happened to you, Frank?" asked the good reverend. "You ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 6:24

Tags: Money

Pentecostal Dog

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Sep 24, 2019

. A Baptist preacher and his wife decided they needed a dog. Ever mindful of their congregation, they knew the dog must also be Baptist. They visited an expensive kennel and explained their needs to the manager, who assured them he had just the dog for them. When the dog was produced, the manager ...read more

Scripture: Acts 2:1-13

Tags: Charismatic, Healing, Pentecostal

Denomination: Independent/Bible

Circuit Riders

Contributed by Roy Fowler on Jun 19, 2020

In the early years, Circuit riders were most often lay preachers without formal education. They were young, poor, and, for the most part, single. Traveling thousands of miles a year. Though circuit riders eventually represented many different denominations but none were more aggressive or ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 9:35

Tags: Personal Sacrifice, Teaching And Preaching

Denomination: Independent/Bible

Ben Merold Said This About Worship: "In Most ...  PRO

Contributed by Kim Huffman on Mar 30, 2004

Ben Merold said this about worship: “In most churches we have the preacher performing, with God as the prompter, and the people as the audience. In truth, worship should be the people ...read more

Tags: Worship Definition

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

A Little Girl Became Restless In Church As The ...  PRO

Contributed by Tim Gresham on Jan 10, 2004

A little girl became restless in church as the preacher’s sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, ...read more

Tags: Giving General

Denomination: Baptist

I Am Reminded About The Story Of This Particular ...

Contributed by David Rogers on Nov 23, 2004

I am reminded about the story of this particular church. One Sunday morning the congregation arrived to find a dirty old vagrant lying beside the door. Some looked at him and said how awful that someone like that is sitting outside our beautiful church, why the pastor should make him move on we ...read more

Tags: Humility, Christian Disciplines

Denomination: Baptist

Funny Church Feuds

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 31, 2022

Church feuds are not uncommon, especially among cliques in the congregation. But when the pastor and worship leader get into it, stand aside. In one church, the preacher preached one weekend on commitment, and how you should dedicate yourselves to service. The worship leader then led the choir in ...read more

Tags: Hymns, Division, Church, Church Fights, Unity  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

One Time A Minister Was Talking With A Man With ...

Contributed by Davon Huss on Jan 13, 2009

One time a minister was talking with a man with not much education. The preacher was asking him about spiritual matters. The preacher asked, "Aren’t you concerned about your soul?" He replied, "No, I have no soul." The preacher replied, "I thought every one had a soul." The poor fellow ...read more

Tags: Soul

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

What God Looks Like

Contributed by Scott Bayles on Jun 16, 2009

WHAT GOD LOOKS LIKE A preacher once asked the preschoolers in Sunday school to draw pictures of God. He intended to use them as an illustration for his Sunday sermon. Toward the end of class the children were excited to show him their work. They came up with rainbows and men with big hands. ...read more

Tags: Father's Day

Denomination: Christian Church

It Comes Back To ...

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jul 30, 2008

IT COMES BACK TO YOU A preacher was making his rounds to his parishioners on a bicycle when he came upon a little boy trying to sell a lawn mower. "I’ve been needing a lawn mower. How much do you want for it?" asked the preacher. "I just want enough money to go out and buy me a bike," said the ...read more

Tags: Dead To Sin

Preaching Fluff Versus Quality

Contributed by I. Grant Spong on Jun 8, 2017

I once lived in a town where there were two preachers who were polar opposites. The one was very charismatic and enthusiastic. But, he did not preach the Bible. I asked him one day why he didn't preach the Bible. His answer was that the people could read their Bibles at home. He preached ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 28:16-20

Tags: Great Commission, Preach Christ, Teach Jesus

Denomination: Independent/Bible

Several Churches In North Dakota Were Being ...  PRO

Contributed by Maurice Schaus on Nov 26, 2003

Several churches in North Dakota were being served by a clever old preacher. The people were always amazed, for no matter what the circumstances, the preacher could always find something to give thanks for. As he made his rounds one cold December morning, he was late in getting to worship because ...read more

Tags: Joy, Thanksgiving Holiday

Denomination: Lutheran

Back During The Days Before Automobiles, Two ...  PRO

Contributed by Michael Luke on Nov 3, 2001

Back during the days before automobiles, two preachers met in a certain town. The first asked the second how he was doing. “Furious!” replied the second. “Someone has stolen my bicycle and I think it’s one of my church members! I ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 5:27-30

Tags: Leadership General, Faith, Commandments General

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

In An Effort To Attract The Unchurched, Some ...

Contributed by John Dobbs on Jan 9, 2010

In an effort to attract the unchurched, some churches have considered translating their unfamiliar terminology into familiar football phrases: *Blocking: Talking endlessly to the preacher at the church door and keeping everyone else from exiting. *Extra Point: What you receive when you tell the ...read more

Tags: Sports

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ