Sermons on Dirty Jokes:

Lights Out? Lights On!

Contributed by Jerry Shirley on Dec 6, 2006

Ice Storms of 2006: How to be lights of Christmas--My family and I have learned some important lessons this week we would not likely learn if our power was on. Link included to formatted text, PowerPoint Template, and many more Christmas sermons.

Lights Out? Lights On! John 19:26-27 http://gbcdecatur.org/sermons/LightsOutLightsOn.html ----- Don’t you love Christmas lights? I do. But we cannot turn on our tree…our generator is just barely able to keep up w/ the furnace and fridge at present. But last night in our dark neighborhood we ...read more

Scripture: John 19:26-27

Denomination: Baptist

The Lights Of The World Series

Contributed by Jerry Shirley on Jun 8, 2006

Jesus taught of the POWER of the light, the PLACES of the light, the PUTTING OUT of the light, and the PURPOSE of the light. Link included to formatted text, handout, and PowerPoint Presentation.

The Lights of the World Matthew 5:14-16 Ye ARE the light of the world…Ye ARE the salt of the earth. In the original language these statements are in an emphatic tense, meaning it would not be wrong at all to say “you and you alone are…” [meaning Christians] The beatitudes were all about the ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 5:14-16

Denomination: Baptist

"Cursing & Cussin'" Series

Contributed by Dave Mcfadden on Aug 25, 2008

First sermon in a series of the use and abuse of the tongue.

Communicating with words is one of the distinguishing marks of human existence. It makes possible the clearest level of understanding, the con¬serving and transmission of knowledge from the past, and the sharing of information from one intelligent being to another. Like so many aspects of human ...read more

Scripture: James 3:1-12

Denomination: Baptist

The Seven Words From The Cross

Contributed by Daniel Habben on Apr 14, 2017

A Good Friday sermon.

FIRST WORD: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Luke 23:34 I don’t suppose you’re surprised to hear Jesus forgive. That’s what he came to do. It was his mission just as a UN peacekeeper’s mission is to keep the peace, not stir up trouble. But what did Jesus mean: “…forgive ...read more

Scripture: Luke 23:34, Luke 23:43, John 19:26, Matthew 27:46, John 19:28, John 19:30, Luke 23:46  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Lutheran

Hall Of Fame For Momma's - Mother's Day 2016

Contributed by Randy Edwards on May 10, 2016

2016 Mother's day

Mother’s day 2016 Proverbs 31:10-31 “Hall of fame for Momma’s” I don’t mind telling you I get wadded up tight when it comes to preaching special occasions I much prefer to do book studies and let God’s word dictate what I preach Mother’s day is one of ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 31:10-31

Denomination: Baptist

Blemished People Can't Approach God

Contributed by William R. Nabaza on Sep 7, 2015

To show in the scripture as servants of GOD, you need to be blameless or be washed in the blood, simple put you need to have a relationship with GOD.

I. EXORDIUM: Are you a spotless believer? Yes. 2 Corinthians 5:17 2 Corinthians 5:17 (Amplified Bible) Therefore if any person is [ingrafted] in Christ (the Messiah) he is a new creation (a new creature altogether); the old [previous moral and spiritual condition] has passed away. Behold, the ...read more

Scripture: Leviticus 21:17

Denomination: Pentecostal

When Wee Encounters Grace

Contributed by Troy Horne on Mar 28, 2009

The story of Zacchaeus with a new twist. Interview sermon for Faith Church of the Nazarene.

Lk. 19.1-10 “When Wee Encounters Grace” 1. A friend of mine interviewed recently at a medium sized church. At the close of the service, after he had preached, he stood by the back door to greet the people as they left. One by one they passed by him, many with a nod, or a smile, or a good ...read more

Scripture: Luke 19:1-10

Denomination: Holiness

What A Mother's Day!

Contributed by James E. Parks on May 9, 2011

Uses the story of Jesus' resurrection of the widow's son in Luke 7 to remind us of the joy and difficulty that can come on Mother's Day.

Since today is Mother’s Day, I thought I would begin with some possibilities for a list called “Murphy’s Laws of Parenting.” Murphy’s law is the idea that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. So these are kind of some laws of how things can go wrong for moms or ...read more

Scripture: Luke 7:11-17

Denomination: United Methodist

Jacob Shows Us How To Conquer God Series

Contributed by Joel Pankow on Jun 24, 2005

This title seems blasphemous, yet it can be understood correctly when we look at how Jacob faced his own weaknesses in return home to Esau. THis is the final sermon in a series of four on Jacob.

June 26, 2005 Episode IV - The Return of the Jacob - Genesis 31-32 The easiest position to play in the sporting world is that of the armchair quarterback. You don’t have to exercise. You don’t have to risk injury to your body. All you have to do is sit in a nicely cushioned chair of an air ...read more

Denomination: Lutheran

Who Are Our Strangers? Series

Contributed by Joseph Smith on Jul 13, 2004

Many things conspire to keep people separate, even in the church. Only God can connect us, and it is the cross that binds us. Are we living out that reality, or have we let separations disconnect us?

When he says it, it feels both enraging and endearing. When he pronounces it, it sounds like irritation, but it also sounds like invitation. It is both attracting and detracting, both including and excluding. I am referring to those moments in the old TV show, when Felix Unger, the neat freak half ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 2:11-22

Denomination: Baptist

What Is The Problem? Series

Contributed by Robert Higgins on Apr 17, 2008

If our church vanished tomorrow, would our community notice…or even care? This question is a question we need to ask ourselves!

1. Joke/Story/Multiple choice question (powerpoint) a. I would like you to raise your hand if you think this is the primary purpose of our church. You can vote more than once. i. Our church‟s purpose is conduct worship services that help our people experience God. ii. Our church‟s ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 2:8-10

Denomination: Baptist

God’s Wedding Gift Series

Contributed by C. Philip Green on Oct 15, 2008

An examination of the 7th commandment against adultery, showing us how to fully enjoy God’s wedding gift of sex in the marriage relationship.

God’s Wedding Gift Exodus 20:14 At the end of their first date, a young man in a bygone era took his favorite girl home. He decided to try for that important first kiss. With an air of confidence, he leaned his hand against the wall, smiled, and said, “How about a good night kiss?” “Are you ...read more

Scripture: Exodus 20:14

Denomination: Evangelical Free

Chasing The Wind - Time! Series

Contributed by Michael Mccartney on Mar 12, 2017

Solomon tells us that timing is everything in life and life goes through many stages and we need to know what time it is.

Timing! -- Ecclesiastes pt. 4 Opening Illustration: Blue Fish TV “There is a Time for everything!” Illustration: What happens in 30 minutes of time put the timer on set it for 30 minutes? Thesis: Solomon tells us that timing is everything in life and life goes through many stages and we need to ...read more

Scripture: Ecclesiastes 3:1-22, Ecclesiastes 2:4

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Divine Comedy - Easter Day

Contributed by Christopher Howitz on Apr 17, 2018

Jesus has the last laugh! In Jesus' resurrection, the Creator of the Universe gives His answer to the rejection of His Son at Calvary. In Christ, our lives no longer end in our funeral but rather in the Wedding of the Lamb.

Jokes can be pretty mean, and maybe April 1st, being April Fools Day in some parts, can be a pretty worrying time – you might be always looking over your shoulder, not sure if you’re going to get pranked before mid-day strikes. However, this April 1st, this April Fools Day, also happens to be ...read more

Scripture: John 20:1-18

Denomination: Episcopal/Anglican

"Everything In Time" Ecc Pt 4 Series

Contributed by Michael Mccartney on Nov 7, 2007

Solomon tells us that timing is everything in life and life goes through many stages and we need to know what time it is.

“Everything in Time!” Ecclesiastes pt. 4 On the lighter side of life: Proverbs from Fourth Graders A 4th grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. She gave each child in the class the first half of the proverb, and asked them to come up with the rest. Here is what they came up with: Better ...read more

Scripture: Ecclesiastes 3:1-22

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational