Contributed by Melvin Newland on Feb 20, 2001
based on 152 ratings
| 6,342 views
AFTER CHURCH...
There he stood, in the midst of the Golden Corral restaurant, with Thousand Island dressing dripping from his hair, over his glasses, down his face, all over his jacket, pants, & shoes. And I’m not talking about a little bit of Thousand Island dressing, I’m talking about 2 gallons
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 10, 2002
based on 75 ratings
| 3,766 views
CHURCH NEVERS
6. Never ask an usher to break a $20.
5. Never do a cannonball in the baptismal tank.
4. Never hold a church business meeting on Super Bowl Sunday.
3. Never tell the pastor, "We love your church and we might even come back next Easter."
2. During youth group activities, never bungee
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Contributed by Tony Searles on Jul 25, 2002
based on 44 ratings
| 4,665 views
10% of church members cannot be found?
20% of church members never attend church
25% admit that they never pray
35% admit that they do not read their Bibles
40% admit that they never contribute to the church?tithe or offering
60% never give to missions
70% never assume responsibility within the
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Other
Contributed by Rob Ross on Apr 9, 2003
based on 35 ratings
| 4,367 views
This Is My Church
It is composed of people just like me.
It will be friendly if I am.
It will do a great work if I work.
It will make generous gifts to many causes if I am generous.
It will bring others into its fellowship if I bring them.
Its seats will be filled if I fill them.
It will be a
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Baptist
Contributed by Keith Davis on May 5, 2003
based on 14 ratings
| 6,030 views
The Perfect Church
I think that I shall never see
A church that’s all it ought to be;
A church that has no empty pews,
Whose preacher never has the blues;
A church whose deacons always “deke”
And none is proud but all are meek;
Where gossips never peddle lies
Or make complaints or
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Troy Borst on May 28, 2003
based on 11 ratings
| 4,067 views
What is the church?
Russ Blowers is a minister who is active in his local Indianapolis Rotary club. At club meetings each week a member gives a brief statement about his job. When it was his turn, Russ said: "I’m with a global enterprise. We have branches in every country in the world. We have
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by James Chandler on Jun 29, 2003
based on 20 ratings
| 3,912 views
The Perfect Church
Mavis Williams
If you should find the perfect church
Without one fault or smear,
For goodness sake!
Don’t join that church;
You’d spoil the atmosphere.
If you should find the perfect church
Where all anxieties cease
Then pass it by, lest joining it
You’d mar the masterpiece.
If
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Sep 6, 2005
Touching in Church
What is all this touching in church? It used to be a person could come to church and sit in the pew and not be bothered by all this friendliness and certainly not by touching. I used to come to church and leave untouched. Now I have to be nervous about what is expected of me. I
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Independent/Bible
Contributed by Paul Wallace on Sep 20, 2006
based on 1 rating
| 2,609 views
Church For Fanatics
One man wrote "I was a supply preacher for a small town Texas Church, coming in early Sunday, preaching a sermon to the congregation, and then leaving after lunch. Arriving early one Sunday I sat down at a local donut shop, opened my Bible and went over my sermon notes. "
A man
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Denomination:
Wesleyan
Contributed by Douglas Duvall on Dec 3, 2006
based on 5 ratings
| 3,852 views
Trouble in the Church
ACTS 15:1-12
I. Decision 15:1-4
A. Men 15:1
B. Method 15:2
C. Messages 15:3-4
II. Demand 15:5-6
A. Demands 15:5
B. Deliberations 15:6
III. Declaration 15:7-12
A. Choice 15:7
B. Comparison 15:8-9
C. Conversion 15:10-12
Introduction
Peter had
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Baptist
Contributed by Charles Salmon on Jan 15, 2007
based on 1 rating
| 6,860 views
Sleeping in Church
A Minister, while preaching, noted most of his congregation was asleep. He stopped the sermon and asked a deacon to pass the offering plate. The deacon woke up red-faced and reminded him the offering had already been taken.
His response; “Never mind, take up another one. I
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Thomas Cash on Jul 7, 2009
TRAMPLED IN THE CHURCH
An African proverb says, "When elephants fight, grass gets trampled." Elephants do not throw their weight around for nothing. The average African elephant weighs 16,534 lbs. The largest elephant on record weighed about 24,000 pounds and was 13 feet tall! Wild elephants eat
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Paul Green on Oct 28, 2009
based on 4 ratings
| 9,271 views
JOY IN CHURCH
Then there’s the story about a little boy in church with his mother. He was a good little boy, quiet and well behaved. He didn’t cause any problems. But every once in a while he would stand up in the chair, turn around, look at the people behind him and smile at them. His smile was
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Baptist
Contributed by Donnie Martin on Mar 13, 2010
CHURCHES AND CULTURE
In survey after survey, researchers find that the lifestyles of born-again Christians are virtually indistinguishable from those of nonbelievers. The divorce rate among Christians is identical to that of nonbelievers. Christian teens are almost as sexually active as
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Baptist
Contributed by Donnie Martin on Mar 13, 2010
SPORTS AND CHURCH
Football in the fall. Basketball in the winter. Baseball in the spring and summer. This pastor has been an avid sports fan all his life. But I’ve had it! I quit this sports business once and for all. You can’t get me near one of those places again. Want to know why...
Every time
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Baptist
DEAD CHURCH
William James of Harvard once said, "There were some people for whom religion was a dull habit, while to others, it was acute fever." By appearances it was a Church of an acute fever. But by assessment it was a Church of a dull habit. The impressive prayers that were prayed went no
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
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