Sermons on Dirty Jokes:

It's All Better At The Beach

Contributed by Rev. Timothy Porter on Jan 11, 2021

On vacation by the beach we wake up pretty much stress free… No Alarm clocks... No Crazy Agenda's... No voice mails... No Emails...No worries... Just do what you want to do when you want to do it.

It's All Better At The Beach Pastor Timothy Porter Text: INTRODUCTION: You know how it is when we are on vacation espically at the beach. We are on island time, and we're only worried about what Jimmy Buffet would do b/c it's 5 o'clock somewhere. You say things like ...read more

Scripture: Lamentations 3:22-23, Psalm 46:10

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

3 Dimension Thanksgiving

Contributed by John Gaston on Nov 16, 2017

In Psalm 30 David thanks God for His help in 3 Dimensions – the Past, the Present, and the Future. We look at the things David thanked God for that will spark our own thankfulness.

3 DIMENSION THANKSGIVING Ps. 30:1-12 INTRODUCTION A. HUMOR 1. PREMIUM ON IGNORANCE a. Shortly before his death, former Chief Justice Melville W. Fuller was presiding at a church business meeting. During the heated debate, a delegate rose and began a tirade against universities and education, ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 30:1-12

Denomination: Assembly Of God

Great Faith Keeps Crying

Contributed by Joel Pankow on Aug 27, 2020

The Canaanite woman persistently keeps praying and coming to Jesus for help for her daughter. Jesus answers.

8.30.20 Matthew 15:21–28 21 Jesus left that place and withdrew into the region of Tyre and Sidon. 22 There a Canaanite woman from that territory came and kept crying out, “Have mercy on me, Lord, Son of David! A demon is severely tormenting my daughter!” 23 But he did not answer her a word. ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 15:21-28

Denomination: Lutheran

Ride On To Die, So We Can Live In Peace

Contributed by Joel Pankow on Mar 31, 2023

Jesus rides into Jerusalem on a donkey, to conquer sin, death and Satan, alone.

4.2.23 Zechariah 9:9–10 9 Rejoice greatly, Daughter of Zion! Shout, Daughter of Jerusalem! Look! Your King is coming to you. He is righteous and brings salvation. He is humble and is riding on a donkey, on a colt, the foal of a donkey. 10 I will cut off the chariot from Ephraim and the horse ...read more

Scripture: Zechariah 9:9-10, Matthew 21:1-11

Denomination: Lutheran

Breaking The Power Of Pride

Contributed by Brian Williams on Apr 6, 2023

Believers may not often realize it, we are either centered on man or centered on God. There is no alternative. Either God is the center and we have become rightly adjusted to him, or we are the center and everything revolves around us. How is power of pride broken?

There are basically two types of evil on this earth - natural evils which include earthquakes, typhoons, tsunamis, flash floods, etc. Things that take lives and bring devastation to humankind and the rest of creation. And then there are moral evils - evils that people commit, for example mental, ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 8:13

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

They Limited God (1 Of 2)

Contributed by Dr. Odell Belger on Mar 29, 2022

What is the Psalmist talking about when he said that Israel limited the, “Holy One of Israel

He is saying that God wanted to do so much more for Israel, but the choices in life they made limited the Lord from doing more for them. Illus: A wealthy father, who had one son, loved that son very much. The father had influence and wealth and he could help his son in many ways. But one day he ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 78:41

Denomination: Baptist

Finding Comfort

Contributed by Dr. Odell Belger on Apr 7, 2022

Most of us, at one time or another, have attempted to comfort someone in distress. We all have different ideas about how this should be done.

Illus: Did you hear about the three men that were dying of terminal diseases? They all began to talk about how they never thought this is how they would leave this world. A nurse thought she would bring some comfort to these three fellows by asking them, “If you had a choice, how you would like ...read more

Scripture: 2 Corinthians 1:1-4

Denomination: Baptist

The Parables Of Jesus: The Lost Sheep & The Lost Coin Series

Contributed by Justin Steckbauer on Apr 15, 2022

Time and again in the New Testament we see Jesus sharing parables and stories related to shepherds and sheep. It’s very very common. From psalm 23, talking about the rod and staff of the shepherd, to Jesus calling himself “the gate for the sheep” it’s throughout the scriptures.

“Dr. Andrew Bonar told me how, in the Highlands of Scotland, a sheep would often wander off into the rocks and get into places that they couldn't get out of. The grass on these mountains is very sweet and the sheep like it, and they will jump down ten or twelve feet, and then they can't ...read more

Scripture: Luke 15:1-10

Denomination: Salvation Army

A Matter Of Life And Death Series

Contributed by Jeff Strite on Apr 23, 2022

In the New Testament it appears that Adam figures powerfully into why Jesus came to die for our sins. But what is it about Adam that would help us better understand why Jesus came to change our lives?

OPEN: Believe it or not, I’ve been told that in S. Dakota there was a town called Paradise… and it was named by two residents. Adam and Eve. Most people remember the story of Adam and Eve in Genesis. They sinned, they ate of the fruit God commanded them not to eat, and they lost their paradise, ...read more

Scripture: Romans 5:6-21

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

The Price Of Peace

Contributed by Alison Bucklin on Sep 4, 2023

Jesus warns his followers that the consequences of following him will be painful and disruptive, and that they’d better be prepared for it.

The disciples were confused. When the Messiah came, peace and righteousness would reign from one end of the earth to the other. All the prophets agreed. And if Jesus was the Messiah as they were all now pretty sure he was, he would be the one who brought it about. He would be the Prince of Peace ...read more

Scripture: Luke 12:49-53

Denomination: Presbyterian/Reformed

Events Of The Tribulation

Contributed by John Gaston on Sep 10, 2022

There will be a 7-Year period known as the 70th week of Daniel (9:27). It’s God’s last time to deal with the nation of Israel to bring them to Christ and to judge the world for sin, still hoping they will turn and repent (Rev. 9:20-21; 16:9,11).

EVENTS OF THE TRIBULATION Rev. 8-9;11:15 INTRODUCTION A. HUMOR 1. Bart's father called home during a business trip to see how his son's basketball game had gone. Bart came to the phone and told his dad, "I finally made a basket today." His father was excited. "Did it help ...read more

Denomination: Assembly Of God

How Well Do You Live?

Contributed by Gerald Manning on Oct 20, 2022

How we die is not nearly as important as how we .... LIVE!

SERMON: HOW WELL DO YOU LIVE? Scripture: 2 Timothy 4:6-8, 16-18 As for me, I am already being poured out as a libation, and the time of my departure has come. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. From now on there is reserved for me the crown of ...read more

Scripture: 2 Timothy 4:6-8

Denomination: Nazarene

Prophet On His Knees

Contributed by Alan Mccann on Oct 27, 2022

Elijah post Carmel in the depths of despair

1 Kings 19 - Prophet on his knees Nina LaCour in a book entitled “Hold Still” wrote these words: The sun stopped shining for me is all. The whole story is I am sad. Hold Still is not an easy read and I would not recommend it if you wanted a happy read either. It is about someone coming to ...read more

Denomination: Episcopal/Anglican

Persecuted Series

Contributed by Mike Lewis on Nov 28, 2023

This morning, we come to our last beatitude in Jesus’ Great Sermon on the Mount. Though this is the last one, we are going to split it up into 2 Sundays.

WELCOME & INTRODUCTION IT’S A POP STAR CONSPIRACY We live in a world filled with conspiracies about what is real and what isn’t. Everything from Elvis still being alive in a gas station in Minnesota to the Loch Ness monster and Bigfoot. Musicians cannot escape their own conspiracies it seems ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 5:10, John 15:18-23, Acts 5:17-42

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

Come, Lord Jesus, Just Like Fire

Contributed by Joel Pankow on Nov 30, 2023

Isaiah prays for the Lord to come down like fire and shake things up. What for? It's the Advent Prayer.

12.3.23 Isaiah 64:1–9 (EHV) 1 Oh, that you would rip open the heavens and come down. Mountains then would quake because of your presence. 2 As fire ignites stubble and as fire makes water boil, make your name known to your adversaries. Then nations would quake in your presence. 3 You did ...read more

Scripture: Isaiah 64:1-9

Denomination: Lutheran