Sermons on Dirty Jokes:

Baptism

Contributed by Phillip Smith on Aug 16, 2023

At the end of the time Jesus was upon the earth, he showed himself to his disciples and told them certain things they were to do after he returned to Heaven. Luke records some of the things commanded. Matthew gives a clear command, "Baptizing them". Let us find out about this baptism.

At the end of the time Jesus was upon the earth, he showed himself to his disciples and told them certain things they were to do after he returned to Heaven. Let us read Luke’s account; Luke 24:44-53. 44 And he said unto them, These are the words which I spake unto you, while I was yet with you, ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 28:18-20, Luke 24:44-53, 1 Peter 3:20-21, Matthew 3:1-2, John 3:23  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

The Battle Cry Of Praise

Contributed by Wayne Lawson on Aug 21, 2023

The first way you prepare for battle is to engage in praise and worship of God.

TITLE: THE BATTLE CRY OF PRAISE SCRIPTURE: II SAMUEL 22:4 Would you agree with me that this world is full of traps and snares. • You know sin brings negative consequences to your life • You know you are going to face temptation to sin every day • You probably even know what some of those ...read more

Scripture: 2 Samuel 22:4

Denomination: Baptist

Masterpiece Series

Contributed by Stephen Colaw on Nov 9, 2021

You were created in the image of God, a masterpiece made for a purpose. And there is only ONE OF YOU. That means you have a reason to be and a purpose to fulfill.

The Point: YOU ARE A MASTERPIECE. ACT LIKE IT. ME: Good morning, Gateway Church. It is great to have you with us today. This morning we are starting a BRAND-NEW teaching series called ONE! Series intro/set up: Independence. It's one of the core values of American culture. We are ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 2:10, Philippians 2:3-5

Denomination: Wesleyan

How To Get Up When Sin Drags You Down

Contributed by Otis Mcmillan on Nov 11, 2021

He was a great king, very passionate, the commander-in-chief, with a heart after God, yet Satan trapped him in the net of sin. God’s king must operate by a different standard tha the world. When David’s conscience was awakened, he expresses a heartfelt desire to be right with God.

Sermon – “How to get up When Sin Drags You Down” Ps 51:1 (A Psalm of David, when Nathan the prophet came unto him, after he had gone in to Bathsheba.) “Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. 2 ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 51:1-19, 1 Corinthians 10:12-13, 1 John 1:8-10, Proverbs 14:34

Denomination: Methodist

You're Married To God. Rejoice In It As He Rejoices

Contributed by Joel Pankow on Jan 20, 2022

What a blessing to be married to God.

1.23.22 Isaiah 62:1–5 1 For the sake of Zion I will not be silent. For the sake of Jerusalem I will not be quiet, until her righteousness goes forth shining brightly, and her salvation burns like a torch. 2 Nations will see your righteousness, and all kings will see your glory. You will be ...read more

Scripture: Isaiah 62:1-5

Denomination: Lutheran

Do You Want To Be Pardoned?

Contributed by Kelvin Mckisic on Dec 10, 2023

In our legal system and specifically regarding our system of incarceration of criminals we have a means of exempting a guilty person from punishment for the crimes they have committed.

“Wash yourselves, make yourselves clean; Put away the evil of your doings from before My eyes. Cease to do evil, Learn to do good; Seek justice, Rebuke the oppressor; Defend the fatherless, Plead for the widow. “Come now, and let us reason together,” Says the Lord, “Though your sins are like ...read more

Scripture: Isaiah 1:16-20, Matthew 6:1-6, 1 Samuel 12:24, Psalm 25:5, John 1:14  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

Joy To The World Series

Contributed by Jeff Strite on Dec 27, 2024

Christians often sing "Joy To The World" as a Christmas carol... but that's not what Isaac Watts wanted to sing about when he first wrote the song. Why did Watts write this song, and what can that mean for us?

Back in the 1700s, there was a man who wrote hymns… a lot of hymns (nearly 750 songs during his lifetime). He was a very famous and popular song writer in his day – and his name was Isaac Watts. He wrote a several songs that are still being sung today and we’re going to sing a few of them… a ...read more

Scripture: 2 Peter 3:3-14, Psalm 98:4-9

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

The Storm Of Disappointment Series

Contributed by Allan Quak on Jan 20, 2025

Heman is in the storm which comes when we are disappointed with God. Through Psalm 88 we see how this storm is broken by continuing to come before God.

You can listen to this sermon at https://npbc.org.au/podcasts/media Psalm 88:1-18 “The Storm of Disappointment There is a phrase that we can use sometimes. It is a phrase which brings with it a high level of emotional response – and can create real questions and real hurt. The phrase is I am so ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 88:1-18

Denomination: Baptist

What’s In Your Cup?

Contributed by Barry O Johnson on Jan 29, 2025

This message looks at the believer and what he/she should be filled with.

Tun with me to 2 Corinthians 1. We are going to read the first part of verse 4. “[God] Who comforteth us in all our tribulation that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble.” In one of his messages last year, my brother read an illustration from “Barbara O’Neill Health Tricks” that ...read more

Scripture: 2 Corinthians 1:4, Matthew 12:3-35, Romans 2:13-14, Romans 12:1-2

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Civil War Between King David And Ish-Bosheth: Abner Switches Sides Series

Contributed by Justin Steckbauer on Jun 5, 2023

The civil war continues between the remnants of the house of Saul and David’s forces. The war was fierce and brutal. But slowly David gained the upper hand.

The civil war continues between the remnants of the house of Saul and David’s forces. The war was fierce and brutal. But slowly David gained the upper hand. As it says in verse 1 of 2nd Samuel 3: “The war between the house of Saul and the house of David lasted a long time. David grew stronger and ...read more

Scripture: 2 Samuel 3:1

Denomination: Salvation Army

One Filthy Rag Talking To Another Filthy Rag

Contributed by Wayne Lawson on Jul 3, 2023

You cannot be saved by your good works, because no matter how hard you try, your “Good” is not good enough for the perfectly holy and completely righteous God who alone grants salvation.

TITLE: ONE FILTHY RAG TALKING TO ANOTHER FILTHY RAG SCRIPTURE: ISAIAH 64:6 / ROMANS 3:10 / ROMANS 3:23 / ZECHARIAH 3:1-4 The title of this morning’s message came from a rather exciting and spirit filled Bible Study we had here at ‘First Church’ a few weeks ago. Rev. Finley actually threw ...read more

Scripture: Isaiah 64:6, Zechariah 3:1-4

Denomination: Baptist

Salvation Into Inheritance

Contributed by Colin Mcgeer on Jul 11, 2023

When you give a gift you like to see it appreciated and enjoyed. God has given us our inheritance. Today is the day to believe and receive all that God has given. Today receive the promise of God's life fully.

I like receiving and giving gifts. More than being on the receiving end, there is a special joy in the act of giving. Once I have selected and wrapped the gift, my anticipation for the moment of giving only grows. Some individuals prefer methodically unwrapping their presents, taking their time to ...read more

Scripture: 2 Peter 1:1-4, Ephesians 3:16-19, Exodus 3:1-12, Hebrews 2:14-15, Joshua 3:16, John 3:16, Romans 5:12-14, 1 Corinthians 10:1-5  (view more)  (view less)

Heaven Or Hell: The Choices Are Ours"

Contributed by Joe Bedy on Jul 19, 2023

God is very clear in His written Word regarding His plan of Salvation and it does not include a philosophy of "easy believism".

As Cindy and I travel to assembly each Sunday a preacher comes on the radio. His opening words every week begin with: “ If I had to give this message a title it would be” and then he gives us the title. I chuckle every week- I don’t know why. Maybe because he is so predictable. So this week I am ...read more

Scripture: Luke 16:19-31

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

Do You Have A Supersized God?

Contributed by John Gaston on May 3, 2025

No man/woman lives beyond their vision. The bigger your vision, the greater your potential. God wants to raise our expectation level about what He will do, but that requires you get a bigger vision of God Himself!

DO YOU HAVE A SUPERSIZED GOD? Isa. 40:12 INTRODUCTION A. HUMOR: A HAIR CUT LESSON 1. A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed. The man & the barber talked about various subjects. 2. When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said, "I ...read more

Scripture: Isaiah 40:12

Denomination: Assembly Of God

Holy Ghost -- Who Is He?

Contributed by Michael Brown on Oct 20, 2024

I wrote this message to share at the assisted living home a few days before Halloween. Because it was so close to Halloween I wrote the message about the one REAL Ghost, the Holy Ghost!

Holy Ghost – Who is He? When Halloween comes people gather together to tell spooky stories to scare the young ones. Parents tell the kids stories about ghosts & goblins. The ghost is also a good last-minute Halloween costume. Mom takes a white bedsheet & cuts or draws holes in it for the ...read more

Scripture: John 14:26, Acts 1:8, Romans 8:26-27

Denomination: Baptist