Sermons on Dirty Jokes:

Church Family Matters Series

Contributed by Roger Thomas on Jun 28, 2005

Good News: the church is like a family. Bad news: the church is like a family.

Church Family Matters 1 Timothy 3:15, 5:1-8 Dr. Roger W. Thomas, Preaching Minister First Christian Church, Vandalia, MO Introduction: I have some good news and some bad news today. Which do you want first? Did you hear about the guy who was called into his doctor’s office? The doctor ...read more

Scripture: 1 Timothy 3:15

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

Dating For Dummies - Part 1 Series

Contributed by Gregg Barbour on Feb 8, 2010

What is it with Dating? Why should teens date or not date? Look at the popular opinion, and the not so popular way in these sermons on Dating.

Ahhh, Dating. Dating makes everybody feel like a dummy at some point or another. You see that girl or guy of your dreams, and you instantly get sweaty palms (or pits), your face turns red, and you got those butterflies in your stomach. You often may not know what to say, or you try and put your ...read more

Scripture: Genesis 2:18

Denomination: *other

Pursuing The Call Part 9 If You Want To Leave An Impact On People Series

Contributed by Thomas Bartlett on Oct 26, 2019

Now, you might be thinking wow that’s great he’s a super Christian, I could never do that. NOT TRUE. God uses ordinary people to do extraordinary things! YOU CAN MAKE AN IMPACT!

ACTS Pursuing The Call Dr. Tom Bartlett September 1, 2019 Acts 20:1-17a OUTLINE If You Want To Leave An Impact On People ENCOURAGE THEM After the uproar ceased, Paul sent for the disciples, and after encouraging them, he said farewell and departed for Macedonia. When he had gone through those ...read more

Denomination: Other

The Angry Jesus Is Scary But Necessary

Contributed by Joel Pankow on Mar 3, 2021

Jesus overturns the tables in the temple with a good purpose.

3.7.21 John 2:13–22 13 The Jewish Passover was near, so Jesus went up to Jerusalem. 14 In the temple courts he found people selling cattle, sheep, and doves, and money changers sitting at tables. 15 He made a whip of cords and drove everyone out of the temple courts, along with the sheep ...read more

Scripture: John 2:13-22

Denomination: Lutheran

Your Money Or Your Life?

Contributed by Victor Yap on Jul 9, 2015

Rich Young Ruler

YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE? (LUKE 18:18-27) Few Bible characters are richer than the ruler. Luke says he was very wealthy and Matthew and Mark says he had great possessions (KJV) in plural (Matt 19:22, Mark 10:22), to be compared to the singular possession Ananias donated to the church (Acts 5:1). ...read more

Scripture: Luke 18:18-27

Denomination: Independent/Bible

Horns Or Halos?

Contributed by John Gaston on Mar 31, 2014

Being a Christian doesn’t mean we’re actually acting like a Christian. At work, at home, in our marriage, with our kids, with the needy – do they perceive us as having Halos or Horns?

HORNS OR HALOS? Deut. 30:19 INTRODUCTION A. HUMOR: A butcher joke 1. Bubba walks into ‘Hal Mitchum Butchers’, goes over to Hal and says, "So, Hal, I hear that you’re something of a betting man." "Yes," replies Hal. 2. "Well," says Bubba, "You’re a tall man, so I bet ...read more

Scripture: Deuteronomy 30:19

Denomination: Assembly Of God

Jesus Is Alive Series

Contributed by Bob Marcaurelle on Mar 2, 2016

The message shows that when Jesus died the church was filled with despair and fear, but when he arose it was transformed into a band of heroes willing to die rather than keep silent.

BIBLE MESSAGES ON EASTER Bob Marcaurelle freesermons@homeorchurchbiblestudy.com Yahoo to homeorchurchbiblestudy.com bob marcaurelle Message 4 Annual Sermons: Vol. 5 No. 22 Text: 1 Cor.15:1-8;Luke 24:33 ff Concord Baptist Church: 1991 Bob Marcaurelle JESUS IS ALIVE! ...read more

Scripture: Luke 24:33-35

Denomination: Baptist

Flee Baby Flee Guardrails Part 3

Contributed by Rick Gillespie- Mobley on Mar 14, 2018

This sermon is a continuation of the Guardrails Series we adapted from Andy Stanley's series. This message deals with the need for us to not only run from sexual temptation but to understand God's purpose in giving us the gift of sex.

Flee Baby Flee Genesis 2:19-25 I Corinthians 6:12-20 We are in our 3rd message on guardrails. Guardrails are a system designed to keep vehicles from straying into dangerous or off limit areas. Guardrails are designed to cause a limited amount of damage now, to prevent major damage or loss of ...read more

Scripture: Genesis 2:19-25

Denomination: Presbyterian/Reformed

It Takes A Lamb - Good Friday Services Series

Contributed by Sherm Nichols on Mar 31, 2021

This is the text of a Good Friday service worked into a series. It featured an on-stage enactment of a Passover Seder, "narrated" by the speaker of the message, explaining the significance of Passover in light of the gospel.

Introduction: (Scripture read - offstage) Exodus 12:3-14 …This is a day you are to commemorate; for the generations to come you shall celebrate it as a festival to the LORD--a lasting ordinance. Joke - Moses was sitting in the Egyptian ghettos. Things were terrible. Pharaoh wouldn't even ...read more

Scripture: Exodus 12:3-14

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

Dan J Funeral

Contributed by Perry Greene on Jun 4, 2015

Funeral for a 62 year old man who had gone through the challenge of alcoholism. He was a believer in Jesus.

Opening Song -- Family Enters "Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me. "In My Father's house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. "If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive ...read more

Scripture: Romans 8:26-28

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

"Three-Fold Assurance" Series

Contributed by Dave Mcfadden on Oct 10, 2016

John tells us three reasons a believer can know that if they are saved, they are saved eternally.

1 John is a book of Christian certainty. John let's us know that God wants us to be fully assured of our salvation. Through His Word, God provides assurance to those who have received Christ that they are truly His (1 John 5:13). As the Spirit of God affirms through the Word of God the validity of ...read more

Scripture: 1 John 5:18-21

Denomination: Baptist

"Walk In The Steps Of Jesus"

Contributed by Ray Ellis on Apr 14, 2008

Jesus is walking by your side in every circumstance that comes your way? Jesus said that after He ascended into heaven He would never leave you or forsake you.

Follow the Steps of Jesus I Peter 2:21-25 (NLT) I John 2:3-6 (NIV) “I Walked Today Where Jesus Walked.” (Solo) In 1979 I visited the older part of Cairo, Egypt where Jesus reportedly spent time with his parents as a child. After spending a couple days in Egypt I visited the Holy Land and walked ...read more

Scripture: 1 Peter 2:21-25

Denomination: Free Methodist

A Spiritual Atm

Contributed by Jerry Shirley on Feb 24, 2007

Obedience to God and the blessings which follow it. Obey in our church ATTENDANCE, our TITHE, and our MINISTRY. Link included to formatted text, audio, and PowerPoint Presentation.

A Spiritual ATM I Samuel 15:22 http://gbcdecatur.org/sermons/ATM.html 1 Samuel 15:22 And Samuel said, Hath the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice. A growing, soul winning church that’s making a ...read more

Scripture: 1 Samuel 15:22

Denomination: Baptist

Let Your Conscience Be Your Guide Series

Contributed by David Dykes on Oct 11, 2006

If you could spend your entire life listening to and obeying your God-given conscience, you could live a perfect life. But the Bible says we have ALL sinned and we fall short of the glory of God. All of us end up with a messed-up conscience.

INTRODUCTION This is the penultimate message in this series on spurious Bible verses. Next week, we’ll consider the final adage, “To Thine Own Self Be True.” I encourage you to investigate this week and see if you can find the true source of that saying. A helicopter pilot flying over Seattle got ...read more

Scripture: Titus 1:15-16, Romans 2:14-15

Denomination: Baptist

The Holy Spirit Is My Ally Series

Contributed by Scott Maze on Sep 28, 2021

He didn’t place an angel inside of you. He placed God inside of you. He didn’t place a saint inside of you. You don’t have the spirit of your godly grandmother in you. You have the Spirit of God in you!

One of the tremendous things the Spirit of God does for the believer is that He makes you morally and spiritually pure. Of all three members of the Trinity, the Spirit is only One that His own adjective in His name. The Spirit is the Holy Spirit, and this is a reminder that He makes you holy. Did ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 5:3-6

Denomination: Baptist