Sermons on Dirty Jokes:

Where Is The Lord God Of Elijah (2 Of 2)

Contributed by Dr. Odell Belger on Jan 5, 2022

In the previous sermon we talked about Elijah, who was Elisha’s predecessor.

We learned that Elisha followed Elijah everywhere he went. Elisha followed Elijah from Gilgal to Beth-el, to Jericho, to Jordan. Elijah asked Elisha to “Tarry here...” three times, but every time Elisha would say, “...As the Lord liveth, and as thy soul liveth, I will not leave thee...” Elijah, ...read more

Scripture: 2 Kings 2:1-15

Denomination: Baptist

Hands Up!

Contributed by Dr. Odell Belger on Mar 3, 2022

We hear the words “Hands Up” used in two ways.

1. IT IS USED IN A NEGATIVE WAY For example, when a criminal walks into a bank and says “Hands up,” everyone within the range of his voice knows what he means. The reason the criminal wants everyone to put their “Hands up” is because this signifies that everyone within the sound of his voice has ...read more

Scripture: Exodus 17:8-13

Denomination: Baptist

I Will Speak Series

Contributed by Jeff Strite on Oct 28, 2023

The 78th Psalm teaches us how to turn the tide of evil in our nation. What is the key to making a nation moral?

Back in the 1800s, there was a famous preacher by the name of Peter Cartwright. Cartwright was known to be a very bold and uncompromising preacher, and one day the President of US - Andrew Jackson - was going to visit his congregation. But the elders were concerned and warned Cartwright: “You ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 78:1-8

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

God Gives The Growth

Contributed by Evelyn Weston on May 9, 2006

ROGATION - Spring Farm Blessing - Some may think that it’s our efforts that produce growth, but the credit really belongs to God. Includes three jokes related to farming!

Additional texts: Ezekiel 34:25-31 Psalm 65 1 Corinthians 3:5-9 Gospel text of your choosing Grace to you and peace, from God our Father,and from our Lord and Savior, Jesus, the Christ. Amen One spring, a farmer purchased an old, run-down, abandoned farm. The fields were grown over with weeds, ...read more

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 3:5-9

Denomination: Lutheran

Assurance Of The Second Coming Of Christ Series

Contributed by Jerry Smith on Oct 15, 2020

I think all of us know the old joke – nothing is sure except death and taxes. In tonight’s lesson let me add a third certainty – the coming of the Lord!

I think all of us know the old joke – nothing is sure except death and taxes. In tonight’s lesson let me add a third certainty – the coming of the Lord! We are in Jude 1:14-16. Jude gives us four certainties about the coming of the Lord. 1. The Lord will come Jude quotes from the book of Enoch. ...read more

Scripture: Jude 1:14-16

Denomination: Baptist

God Haters, Has Sold Their Souls To Satan. Series

Contributed by Shaila Touchton on Nov 6, 2022

Those who mock, hate, Joke, take the Gods name in Vain, the Holy Bible, Jesus Christ, Holy Spirit and God, cannot escape the fires of Hell on Judgement Day.

Those who mock, hate, Joke, take the Gods name in Vain, the Holy Bible, Jesus Christ, Holy Spirit, and God, cannot escape the fires of Hell on Judgement Day. God is not mocked" is found in Galatians 6:7, "Do not be deceived, God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also ...read more

Scripture: Hebrews 13:17, Ecclesiastes 11:9

Repair The Broken Down Altar

Contributed by Gregory Mc Donald on Oct 14, 2002

The story of Elijah and how God used him to turn His people back to Him. Also three steps to repairing the altar in your life and turn back to God.

Repair The Broken Down Alter 1 Kings 18:30 Pastor Greg Mc Donald This morning if you look in your bulletin you will see that one of our prayer request is our nation. Today we live in a world felled with nothing but sin, rott, and filth. We live in a nation ...read more

Scripture: 1 Kings 18:30

Man's Dust: An Emblem Of God's Glory

Contributed by Tristan Jether Orpiada on Jul 9, 2019

WHAT A GLORIOUS EXPERIENCE WE WILL BE WITH GOD. FROM DIRTY DUST TO DIAMONDS. FROM BEING PRICELESS TO BEING PRECIOUS JEWELS . WE ARE THE EMBLEM OF GOD’S GLORY!!!

GENESIS is the book of origins and beginnings. That is why we derived the word “GENERATION” from its name. Here, we read the story of God’s marvelous creation of the universe, the heavens and the earth. Every living things plants and animals namely, land and water bodies, celestial bodies such as ...read more

Scripture: Genesis 1:26-28

Denomination: Apostolic

Love Is Not Proud Series

Contributed by Glenn Pease on Mar 17, 2021

When Jesus came into the world He did not come in pride to dominate, and to have His own needs met. He came in love to serve and meet the needs of others

Ignorance may be bliss, but it is a fools paradise when others are in the know. General Motors learned this the hard way back in the early 60's when they launched a campaign to sell their new compact, the Chevy Nova, in Mexico. It was a flop, and the sale figures were appalling. That is when ...read more

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 13:4

The Shepherds' Christmas

Contributed by Andrew Chan on Dec 16, 2005

Seeing Christmas from the shepherds’ viewpoint.

The Shepherds’ Christmas Luke 2:8-20 (NIV) 8And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10But the angel said to them, "Do not be ...read more

Scripture: Luke 2:8-20

Denomination: Evangelical Free

Lazy Bones Series

Contributed by Jerry Shirley on Apr 1, 2009

Several jokes and illustrations on how to know if you are lazy--then what the Bible says about it and how to be diligent as a servant of the Lord. Link inc. to formatted text, audio, PowerPoint.

Lazy Bones II Thessalonians 3:6-18 http://gbcdecatur.org/sermons/LazyBones.html If a problem is not dealt with is usually doesn’t go away...instead it gets worse. Ill.—small splinter in finger is just irritating at first, but eventually it will become infected and much more serious over time. ...read more

Scripture: 2 Thessalonians 3:6-18

Denomination: Baptist

Eph.2:1-14 Our Past, Present, And Future

Contributed by William D. Brown on Sep 29, 2011

In this sermon you will find that all of us were at one time lost sinners, but now that we're saved God has directed our new life in such a manner that it is obvious to all that there has been truly a change in our lives, now we tell people every time He

EPH.2:1-14 OUR PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE 9-3-11 1And you hath he quickened, who were dead in trespasses and sins; Paul here points out man's condition outside of Christ-- the unsaved person is the same as a corpse, a walking dead man, --Jesus told Nicodemos in John 3:17-18 For ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 2:1-14

Denomination: Baptist

Getting A New Wardrobe Series

Contributed by Mark Schaeufele on Jun 5, 2018

We need to take off our old life and put on our new one.

Getting A New Wardrobe Text: Col. 3:5-11 Introduction 1. Illustration: Ten months ago, I had a life changing even; I had bariatric surgery. As of today I have lost 133 lbs. As a result, I have had to have an entirely new wardrobe (several times). I can't wear the clothes I used to wear, and so ...read more

Scripture: Colossians 3:5-11

Denomination: Methodist

Walk In Love

Contributed by Troy Borst on Jun 24, 2015

It means that for people who call God their God and for people who claim Jesus as their personal Lord and Savior; we have no options when it comes to love because we must act in love and have compassion for all people in all situations no matter the circu

WALK IN LOVE 2 JOHN 1:6 THREAD: 2 John 1:6, “And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love.” NARRATIVE 1 (sorta Genesis 4:1-8) Once there was a family that had two sons. The older son was named ...read more

Scripture: 2 John 1:6

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

Joseph Of Arimathea The Corageous Coward Series

Contributed by Glenn Pease on Mar 18, 2021

It took the crisis of the cross to change his cowardice into courage. Sometimes it takes a crisis to bring out a man's true faith.

A fireman who was half dead from exhaustion and smoke inhalation, with face dirty and uniform covered with grime, staggers past the crowd and is almost deafened by their shouts and cheers for him. He has just come from a burning building where, at the risk of his life, he climbed to the third ...read more

Scripture: Mark 15:37-47