Sermons on Crude Joking:

A Chosen Generation #3: Body Builders Series

Contributed by C Jordan on Sep 16, 2007

God has called us to be body builders – to build up His body! When you become a Christian, you are not joining a religion, but becoming a part of a family. Like pieces of a puzzle, we are all fitted together in the body of Christ.

A CHOSEN GENERATION #3: BODY BUILDERS OPENING TEXT: “Coming to Him as to a living stone, rejected indeed by men, but chosen by God and precious, you also, as living stones, are being built up a spiritual house, a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus ...read more

Scripture: 1 Peter 4:8-11

Denomination: *other

On The Up And Up: Jesus'ascension Series

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Jul 7, 2008

esus’ Ascension is connected both to the Resurrection and the Second Coming of Christ. It is an extension of the Gospel and a foundational belief that has important ramifications.

On the Up and UP: Jesus’Ascension (Acts 1:9-11) 1. It can be tough to say “Goodbye.” 2. It was hard when our daughter moved to Washington or our son went away to Bible College. 3. Indeed, if you are like me, you will probably ever see most of the people with whom you graduated high school, ...read more

Scripture: Acts 1:9-11

Denomination: Independent/Bible

When You Walk In A Dream

Contributed by Russell Brownworth on Dec 14, 2008

Walking in a dream…surreal, unbelievable…is this really happening? That must have been what God’s people experienced when the captivity was over in Babylon.

1When the LORD restored the fortunes of Zion, we were like those who dream. 2Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then it was said among the nations, “The LORD has done great things for them.” 3The LORD has done great things for us, and we rejoiced. 4Restore ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 126:1-6

Denomination: United Methodist

Lot Was A "Worldly" Believer! Series

Contributed by Paul Clemente on Dec 22, 2008

Because God is Almighty, Holy, and Loving, He will judge evil but will always show His mercy, but God’s mercy is only as good as one responds to it.

Remember Adam and Eve? They were created to live forever in paradise! But Adam and Eve disobeyed God in the Garden of Eden and they found themselves naked, lost, childbirth became painful, marriage problems began, work became hard, and they lost their immortality. But Adam and Eve were still ...read more

Scripture: Genesis 19:1-29

Denomination: Independent/Bible

The Best Christmas Present Ever

Contributed by Ken Sauer on Dec 22, 2008

A sermon for Christmas Eve.

Christmas Eve Mediation Luke 2:1-20 by: Rev. Ken Sauer, Pastor of Grace United Methodist Church, Soddy Daisy, TN www.graceumcsd.org Following a Christmas Eve Service at the last church I pastored, Parkview United Methodist Church in Newport News, VA., I was shaking hands with those who were ...read more

Scripture: Luke 2:1-20

Denomination: United Methodist

The Whole World Is Watching !

Contributed by James Jackson on Dec 29, 2005

The World is watching : to see what a Christian does with the Knowledge and the Authority they have when Serving Jesus Christ.

The Whole World Is Watching When is it the easiest to be a Christian? Most likely it is while you are at church! We try to shut the world out of our minds for just a little while and focus on God. In the sanctity of our surroundings it is easy to give a testimony. It is easy to read our bibles in ...read more

Scripture: Acts 27:15-24

Denomination: *other

The Mouth Of Christ

Contributed by Jim Kane on May 18, 2009

Third Sermon in the 2009 Lenten Series, ‘The Body of Christ.’

(Slide 1: Who will forget the baker’s strike? They wanted more dough!) I love a good pun, the kind that makes you moan and wish that you had said it (and thought of it) first. I have a book of puns entitled The Complete Book of Puns by Art Moger. I am not allowed to take this book on vacation. I ...read more

Scripture: Romans 10:9-10

Denomination: Church Of God

Renovations: The Pudding Principle Series

Contributed by Dan Cale on Jun 8, 2009

A 5 week series on the book of Philippians that parallels a renovation project in the church. This message deals with the end result of renovation.

Renovations: Making it New Again Pt 5 – The Pudding Principle Philippians 4:1-13 We started some time ago talking about renovations. The definition of the word is simple: 1. To restore to an earlier condition, as by repairing or remodeling. 2. To impart new vigor; to revive. In Chapter 1 we looked ...read more

Scripture: Philippians 4:1-13

Denomination: *other

Genesis 8 - Part 3 – Removal Van Prayer. Series

Contributed by Ross Cochrane on Jan 13, 2010

God not only wants my heart, but He wants my prayers. If Noah was here today, he would say “If you want to know where to go from here, then intercede (ask on somebody's behalf) for God’s blessings.”

Genesis 8 - Part 3 – REMOVAL VAN PRAYER. Well, Julie and I have got a house full of boxes and a quietness amidst the echoes, as we see the final things accomplished before our move to Sydney - a trailerload of Church related archives in a cupboard, and a list of people we need to see before ...read more

Scripture: Genesis 8:20-22

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Genesis 11 – Part 4 – Unity And Creativity At What Cost? Series

Contributed by Ross Cochrane on Feb 14, 2010

Let me get this straight. GOD LOVES UNITY, MY CREATIVE ABILITIES AND ENTERPRISE! He made me like this. So what is the big deal with stopping the tower of Babel being built?

Genesis 11 – Part 4 – UNITY AND CREATIVITY AT WHAT COST? What interests me in this passage is that God saw the unity of the people (Genesis 11:6), who had a single purpose and a single language, the ability to plan things and execute them efficiently and effectively, tremendous ...read more

Scripture: Genesis 11:1-9

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Narrow And The Wide Gates

Contributed by Jon Mackinney on Jul 29, 2009

If we are on the narrow road by God’s grace, what is our responsbility to those on the broad road?

Passage: Matthew 7:13-14 Intro: It has become fashionable to view Jesus as a laughing, jolly figure joking his way thru his life and ministry on earth. 1. and certainly he was filled with a deep joy and contentment. 2. and yet this statement in Isaiah 53:3 has always bothered me in light of the ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 7:13-14

Denomination: Evangelical Free

What Love Looks Like Series

Contributed by Billy Noel on Aug 9, 2009

We all have ideas of what love is, but Jesus uses an unlikely person by Jewish standards to illustrate what love looks like.

Karl Marx the philosopher, social scientist, historian and revolutionary is without a doubt the most influential socialist thinker to emerge in the 19th century. He gained a reputation as a socialist and seemed to be concerned about the poor and the working class while he himself sought a middle ...read more

Scripture: Luke 10:25-37

Denomination: Christian Church

Question About The Virgin Mary Series

Contributed by Keith Foskey on Jun 6, 2005

Series answering questions from the congregation

Sermon Series: “Questioning the Faith” Sermon #7 “Question about the Virgin Mary” Text: Luke 1:26-30 OPENING JOKE: “King James Virgin” A ten-year old, who was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible because of her grandmother’s teaching, asked her grandmother: "Which Virgin was the mother of ...read more

Scripture: Luke 1:26-30

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Jesus The King

Contributed by Judith Hand on Nov 10, 2006

Jesus reveals he is a MEEK ,MOCKED,and MAJESTIC king as he fulfills his purpose at the end of his earthly ministry

SERMON : JESUS THE KING My grandfather used to say that he wished he knew where he was going to be when he died, and then he wouldn’t go there - (joking that he could avoid his death that way) But Jesus knew exactly where he would be when he died, and the scriptures tell us that he set his face ...read more

Denomination: Methodist

Not Like Any Store I Know Series

Contributed by Floyd Johnson on Nov 29, 2006

For the last three weeks we have compared the church to a store - a store getting ready for Christmas. But the church is not a store - it is a unique institution designed by God to share His grace with a broken world.

Intro.: I need to apologize to you - I lied to you. 1.I told you that we would spend time looking how we might restock the store. 2.But it dawned on me during the week that if I did that, I was leaving he wrong impression. 3.It might sound as if the church were just another store – with a product ...read more

Scripture: Colossians 1:15-23

Denomination: Methodist