Contributed by John Raulerson on Oct 6, 2005
based on 2 ratings
| 22,141 views
Joke: You Can’t Believe a Word He Says
A guy sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there. "You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the mutt replies.
"So,
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Sermon Central on Nov 10, 2005
based on 10 ratings
| 2,363 views
[It would be nice of you to add this to the general humor section instead of SermonCentralPro because you need some new stuff in that section.]
If My Body Were a Car
By Anonymous
I see newer models rolling down the street,
But my own car is growing older and it’s not very neat.
I’ve got bumps,
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Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 8, 2005
based on 11 ratings
| 2,678 views
With a timid voice and idolizing eyes, the little boy greeted his father as he returned from work, "Daddy, how much do you make an hour?"
Greatly surprised, but giving his boy a glaring look, the father said: "Look, son, not even your mother knows that. Don’t bother me now, I’m tired."
"But
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Contributed by George Rennau on Sep 9, 2006
Fontella Bass grew up in the church singing gospel music, and serving the Lord. Eventually her marvelous voice led her into a singing career.
In 1965 her No. 1 R&B single "Rescue Me" placed her among the greatest.
But she was a one hit wonder.
Twenty-five years later Fontella was facing the
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Denomination:
Assembly Of God
Contributed by Steve Smith on Dec 4, 2006
based on 5 ratings
| 5,356 views
ILL: Christmas Season
Listen to this parody of the Christmas season that I read this past week:
"And there were in the same country children keeping watch over there stockings by the fireplace. And lo! And was said unto them `Fear not, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy that is for
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Baptist
Leo Tolstoy once wrote a story about a successful peasant farmer who was not satisfied with his lot. He wanted more of everything. One day he received a novel offer. For $1000, he could buy all the land he could walk around in a day. The only catch in the deal was that he had to be back at his
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Denomination:
Independent/Bible
Roberts book “One Thing” and he states this about our society, “We’ve been bombarded from every angle by the media, and their message is always the same: you don’t look good enough, smell good enough, sing well enough, dance well enough; you aren’t smart enough, aren’t rich enough; and even if you
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Denomination:
Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Rodelio Mallari on Jan 10, 2012
GREED: ARMORED TRUCK ACCIDENT
Oakland, Calif. (AP) - People jumped out of cars in rush hour traffic, grabbing bags of money that fell out of a Brink's armored truck, and apparently got away with it.
"I saw one guy strike an old lady who was reaching for one bag," said Willie Greenwood, who was
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*other
Contributed by Curt Cizek on Oct 8, 2007
based on 1 rating
| 3,087 views
Found on internet - Man Allegedly Patient About Revenge SARATOGA SPRINGS, N.Y. (AP) " Police say a 30-year grudge boiled over when a former elementary school teacher littered the driveways of former co-workers and bosses with roofing nails and splattered paint on their garage doors. Thomas R.
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Denomination:
Lutheran
Contributed by Elijah Stepp on May 11, 2008
Illustration:
(From Speaker’s Sourcebook II by Glenn Ven Eckeren)
Perhaps you heard about the church that planned to have the “No Excuse” Sunday Service….
Their advertisement for their “No Excuse Sunday” read as follows….
Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say "Sunday is my only day
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Denomination:
Independent/Bible
Contributed by Sermon Central on May 17, 2002
based on 36 ratings
| 2,125 views
Tell Mommy I love Her.
John had been on the road visiting clients for more than three weeks. He couldn’t wait to get back to Ohio to see his wife and children. It was comoig up on Mother’s Day, and he usually tried to make it "Back home",but this year he was just too tired. He was in a small town
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Contributed by Sermon Central on Nov 11, 2002
based on 9 ratings
| 5,703 views
THANKS FOR THE HELMET
Cecil Conrad was a farm boy, tired of waking up at the crack of dawn to clean up after cows. He lied about his age, joined the Army and helped free Asia from the Axis.
But it was in the next war, battling Communists in Korea, that Conrad might truly have regretted his
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