Contributed by Charles Jones on Dec 16, 2010
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"PRAISE THE LORD" AND "AMEN"
Story has it that there was a preacher that was trying to sell his horse. One day a potential buyer came to the church for a test ride. The preacher said, "Before you start, you should know that this horse only responds to church talk." Go is 'praise the lord' and stop
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Denomination:
Pentecostal
Contributed by Gordon Curley on Jan 2, 2011
Sometimes newspaper editors state the obvious:
* 'If strike isn't settled quickly it may last a while'.
* 'War dims hope for peace'
* 'Cold wave linked to temperatures'
* 'Child's death ruins couple's holiday'
* 'Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years'
* 'Man is fatally
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Denomination:
Brethren
Contributed by Gordon Curley on Apr 8, 2011
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A HIJACKING PARABLE
Think of the human race aboard a hijacked jet-liner flying through time. God himself directed its takeoff from the divine control-tower. The initiator of all evil, whom we call the Devil, Managed to get a boarding pass.
When the plane reached its cruising altitude, the Devil
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Brethren
Contributed by Chuck Sligh on Apr 19, 2011
THE NO-MORES
"When you soldiers were downrange, it was the 'no-mores' that kept you going. You knew that eventually there would be no more sand; no more patrols; no more 130 degree temperatures; no more IEDs; no more constantly looking over your shoulder for danger in every Iraqi you saw.
"When
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Baptist
Contributed by Matthew Oliver on Oct 20, 2012
Christian man Carl Behr of Baldwin, Pennsylvania received a notice on Monday ordering him to remove the 24-foot high illuminated cross he has installed in his front yard and kept lit day and night. But Behr plans to fight the order at a municipal meeting. “It’s all about my faith, and some people
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Episcopal/Anglican
Contributed by Ken Henson on Oct 31, 2012
THE SYMBOL OF THE OLIVE
The disciples went into the Olive grove. Many think there was the Olive Press there. The purpose of the Olive Press is to crush the olive, remove the oil and the oil was used for various purposes. Even today we get much of the oil from the Mediterranean area, the Middle
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*other
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OVERCOMING THE GREAT WALL
In ancient China, the people wanted to defend themselves from the barbaric hordes in the North and they built the Great Wall of China. It was too high to climb over, too thick to break down, and too long to go around. Very secure.
Yet during the first hundred years
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Denomination:
Independent/Bible
Contributed by Matthew Kratz on Nov 24, 2007
Taking care of the body has always been a common obsession. Even when we are not starving or thirsty or naked, we still give an inordinate amount of attention to our bodies. We pamper the body, decorate it, exercise it, protect it from disease and pain, build it up, slender it down, drape it with
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Other
Contributed by Todd Pugh on Jan 14, 2008
I knew a professional body builder growing up. This guy owned the gym where I worked out. His nickname was Newt. (Because he turned several shades of red when he was working out.) As a body builder, Newt would go through cycles. A cycle started with heavy lifting and a lot of strength training.
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Denomination:
Pentecostal
Contributed by Aubrey Vaughan on Jan 17, 2008
I wonder if you have seen that great scene in the the Monty python film where there is a man over indulging himself with food to the disgust of the waiter. As the gentlemen eats he’s get fatter and fatter to the point where he is absolutely full and he cannot eat anymore. His body looks like it
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Denomination:
Baptist
A teenager once wrote this letter to Ann Landers:
“I am a 15 year old and my biggest problem is my mother. All she does is nag, nag, nag. From morning till night. It is, turn off the TV. Do your homework. Wash behind your neck. Stand up straight. Go clean your room. How can I get her off my case?”
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Michael West on Mar 17, 2008
The distance between us and the moon is 250,000 miles, but from here to the sun, it’s a whopping 93 million miles. To make it easier, they start talking light years and that’s where I get lost real fast.
For instance let’s take 10 million light years. How far is that in laymen terms? Multiply 5
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Denomination:
Independent/Bible
Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 10, 2008
I WAS READING A MISIONS MAGAZINE THAT WAS REPORTING ON A MISSIONARY WHO WAS TALKING TO A CHIEF OF A TRIBE IN THE aMAZON ABOUT JESUS CHRIST, AND THE CHIEF TRIED TO IMPRESS THE MISSIONARY WITH GIFTS OF HORSES, BLANKETS AND JEWELRY. THE MISSIONARY LOOKED AT THE CHIEF AND SAID, "MY GOD DOES NOT WANT
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A vicar was retiring after 25 years in the parish. As he came to clear out his bedroom, he found a small bowl with 5 eggs and £1,000 in it. Baffled he called his wife, "Darling, what is this little basket under the bed with five eggs and £1,000 in it?"
"Oh," she said "I must confess that everytime
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Anglican
Contributed by Mark Eberly on Sep 4, 2008
I always tell couples that I marry about the 50/50 principle of marriage. True or false. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. Each partner brings their half to make a whole. It’s false of course. It is 100/100. In relationships, two halves don’t make a whole. We joke about our better half. But in
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Church Of God
Sermon Central