In Sermon Illustrations: "John Ortberg"

Don't End Your Life --- Start It All Over Again!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Apr 7, 2022

A student at Penn State University went out on a ledge of a tall building on campus and threatened to take her life by jumping off. The campus chaplain was called in to bring calmness while awaiting the emergency team from nearby. When the chaplain found the young woman, her threats seemed very ...read more

Scripture: John 3:1-7

Tags: Counseling, Crises, Chaplains, Emergencies, Evangelism, New Life, Born Again, New Birth, Witnessing, Suicide  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The 100% Solution!

Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 26, 2022

Since the beginning of time, mankind has craved peace! When Adam and Eve came upon the body of their son Abel, slain by his brother Cain, they no doubt longed for peace. The peculiar thing about peace is this; man has always longed for the time when peace was in his life––yet peace has so seldom ...read more

Scripture: John 14:25-27

Tags: Holy Spirit, Peace

Metaphors (Comical)

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on May 2, 2022

. Most writers know not to use mixed metaphors. Here are some examples: 1. She was a couch potato in the gravy boat of life, flopping dejectedly on the sofa. 2. All at once he was alone in this noisy hive with no place to roost. 3. The little boat gently drifted across the pond the way a bowling ...read more

Scripture: John 6:35-51

Tags: Bread, I Am, Metaphor, I Am Statements

Denomination: Independent/Bible

God Means Business

Contributed by Roger Hasselquist on May 28, 2022

Little Johnny was going to a public school and he was doing very poorly in math. So his mother decided to put him into a Catholic school. When she got his report card at the end of the term, his grades in math had improved tremendously. So she asked him why. He replied, "When I saw that ...read more

Scripture: John 3:16

Tags: Cross, Hope In Jesus, Sin's Penalty, Law Upheld

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

Misunderstandings Can Be Hilarious

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Jun 6, 2022

Misunderstandings happen all the time. Here are some: My toddler was about to hit her head on a bar at the playground, so I told her to duck. She quacked at me and then hit her head. A guy ran into a service station and said he needed some 710. They had no idea what he was talking about. So he ...read more

Scripture: John 14:1-11

Tags: Humor, Literal, Misunderstanding, Too Literal, Miscommunication  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Independent/Bible

Flowers For Offense

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Jun 13, 2022

Man, to florist: ‘I'd like a bunch of flowers, please.” Florist: “Certainly, sir. What flowers would you like?” Man: “Err ... I'm not sure ... Ummm ..” Florist: “Let me help ...read more

Scripture: John 15:1-11

Tags: Atonement, Fruit, Vine, Offense, Vegetation, Apologizing  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Independent/Bible

Trust Issues

Contributed by Dr. Ronald Shultz on Jul 18, 2022

John 2:23 Now when he was in Jerusalem at the Passover, in the feast day, many believed in his name, when they saw the miracles which he did. 24 But Jesus did not commit himself unto them, because he knew all men, 25 and needed not that any should testify of man: for he knew what was in man. As I ...read more

Scripture: John 2:23-25

Tags: Trust, Opposition, Betrayal, Brethren, Opposers  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Baptist

When Is It Okay To Be Snarly?

Contributed by James Snyder on Aug 6, 2022

Normally, whatever normal means, I don’t get agitated by many things. I can keep my cool under the most bizarre circumstances. Nothing gets under my skin, and I can take everything with a grin. I can’t remember the last time I lost my temper and got mad. I’ve been married for over 50 years, so I ...read more

Scripture: John 8:44

Tags: Humor, Telemarketers, Snarly, Aggitation

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

The Power Of The Switch

Contributed by Imelda Mesa on Sep 27, 2022

THE POWER OF THE SWITCH – to some, the issue is not the light but our willingness/eagerness to turn the switch on! Example: Marie and Walter gifted us a 3-day tour in Canada - Kingston-Ottawa-Montreal-Old Quebec-1000 Islands The schedule is packed and the travel time between these places range ...read more

Scripture: John 8:12

Tags: Light, Darkness, Turn The Lights On

Denomination: Foursquare

Five Thousand Fishes And Two Thousand Loves?

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Nov 6, 2022

• A young preacher graduated from Bible College and was invited back to his home congregation to preach a sermon. He wanted to make a good impression. He did his best to prepare to preach to his home church. He wrote his sermon word for word and memorized it. He had a very dramatic beginning to the ...read more

Scripture: John 6:1-14

Tags: Jesus, Miracles, Sermons, Preacher Jokes

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Welcome To Your Hut In Heaven!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Nov 20, 2022

A man died and went to heaven.  He was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter who led him down the golden streets.  They passed stately homes and beautiful mansions until they came to the end of the street where they stopped in front of a rundown cabin.   The man asked St. Peter why ...read more

Scripture: John 14:1-6

Tags: Budget, Heaven, Giving, Stewardship, Tithing, Church Members, Surprises  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

"i've Got A Mansion Just Over The Hilltop" Song Story

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Nov 21, 2022

In 1945, a young Christian businessman stood one evening in an evangelistic service in Dallas, Texas, and told how he had learned a valuable lesson from a small child. The gentleman stated that his business, for a number of months, had been in a steady decline. It looked as if it would completely ...read more

Scripture: John 14:1-6

Tags: Death, Revelation, Heaven, Hope, New Jerusalem, Funerals  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

God's Parental Sayings

Contributed by Troy Borst on Dec 19, 2022

God’s Parental Sayings The point of today’s message revolves around Jesus being the Son of God and what that means for us. That got me thinking about sayings we have all heard from our parents and things we never thought we would say. I wondered, what might God have said to Jesus… Him being His ...read more

Scripture: John 1:1

Tags: Jesus, God The Father, Parental Sayings

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

How Long Is Eternity?

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Dec 22, 2022

A young boy went up to his pastor after his sermon and said, "Pastor, how long is forever?" The pastor knelt down by the side of the boy and said, "Why would you ask me that question, Billy?" Billy said, "Well, Pastor, you said that we were going to live in one of two ...read more

Scripture: John 3:16

Tags: Eternity, Heaven, Time, Everlasting Life, Hell  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

What Is It Like On The Other Side?

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Dec 22, 2022

Kansas City, Missouri is separated from Kansas City, Kansas by the Missouri River. Years ago, there was a farmer who lived on the Kansas side of the river. He had a farm, a wife and a beautiful daughter. The farmer and his family had never been across the river. They had lived their whole life on ...read more

Scripture: John 14:1-6

Tags: Hope, Eternal Life, New Jerusalem, Funerals, Death, Revelation, Heaven  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Baby's Smile

Contributed by Bruce Lee on Dec 28, 2022

The Baby’s Smile “A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world.” John 16:21 We are in the last few days of the year. Most of our thoughts on Christmas is that it is ...read more

Scripture: John 16:21

Tags: Smile, Hope, Cross, Baby Jesus, After Christmas, Cradle To The Cross  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Stay Plugged In

Contributed by Glynda Lomax on Jan 24, 2023

A friend of mine emailed me something so true about staying connected ... When God made trees he spoke to the earth. When God made fish he spoke to the water. When God made man he said let us make man in our image. He breathed life from Him into us. These three things are alive. however they ...read more

Scripture: John 15:5

Tags: Connected To God, Where We Draw Power, Our Connection To God, We Can't Live Without God, If We Disconnect  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Charismatic

Being Persecuted

Contributed by Jerry Cosper on Feb 13, 2023

As we live our Christian lives there are a lot of questions that are related to the Christian Life that don't really fall into life and death categories. Questions like: what's your favorite version of the bible? How can I be a better group member? Or the BIG ALL-IMPORTANT QUESTION: if a ...read more

Scripture: John 15:18-25

Tags: Persecution, Suffering

Denomination: Baptist

Victorious Living

Contributed by Jerry Cosper on Feb 13, 2023

2 weeks ago as I sat in the office of my lawyer, he showed me a photocopy of a handwritten letter from Abraham Lincoln that was written to my lawyer’s great-great uncle. The uncle happened to be the president of the University of Pennsylvania at that time. He was involved in writing a pamphlet on ...read more

Scripture: John 16:19-22

Tags: Victory, Hard Times

Denomination: Baptist

I Am More Alive Than Ever - D. James Kennedy

Contributed by Timothy Lueking on Apr 3, 2023

D. James Kennedy wrote a book called "Skeptics Answered" and in this book, he made this observation that has always stuck with me. It reminds me of a quote from D.L. Moody many years before. Kennedy wrote, "There will, in fact, come a time when some of you will probably be standing ...read more

Scripture: John 11:25-26

Tags: Death, Easter, Resurrection, Life, Eternal Life  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ