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In Sermon Illustrations: "Humorous Weddings"

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  • Out-Of-Whack Priorities

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Mar 26, 2011
    based on 1 rating
     | 5,678 views

    OUT-OF-WHACK PRIORITIES USA Today ran an article on October 25th, 1995 that is a great illustration about priorities. It reads... "Ronald Warwick, captain of the luxury cruise ship Queen Elizabeth II, questioned a passenger who paid full fare for his dog to join them on an around-the-world ...read more

  • Horse Sense

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on May 7, 2012
     | 1,938 views

    HORSE SENSE I like horses okay, but I am not a horse-person. But for much of history, horses were crucial. As a result, we have developed a lot of idioms involving horses. "Many terms and phrases in the English language harken back to a time not so long ago when horses were of extreme ...read more

  • A Reason To Give Thanks

    Contributed by Roger Hasselquist on Nov 24, 2024
     | 298 views

    Do you remember Erma Bombeck, the homemaker who spun humorous anecdotes about suburban family life into a column syndicated to about 700 newspapers, television commentary, speeches across the country and books with titles such as “The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank,” “Just Wait Till ...read more

  • Have You Ever Asked God To Wake You Up In The Morning?

    Contributed by Glynda Lomax on Dec 23, 2024
     | 188 views

    Be careful what you pray for. We all know the feeling of trying to wake up to a blaring alarm clock. I had been really tired from working late and had overslept several times in the past week. I was traveling at the time, not at home. It wasn’t an emergency since I work from wherever I am, but I ...read more

  • Dave Barry - Excerpt From "The Pain Of ...

    Contributed by Sherm Nichols on Dec 31, 2007
     | 1,413 views

    Dave Barry - Excerpt from “The Pain of Childbirth”: The key to avoiding drugs, according to the natural-childbirth people, is for the woman to breathe deeply. Really. The theory is that if she breathes deeply, she’ll get all relaxed and won’t notice that she’s in a hospital delivery room wearing ...read more

  • A Little Boy Had A Terminal Illness. He Knew He ...  PRO

    Contributed by Tim Zingale on Apr 18, 2001
    based on 274 ratings
     | 2,035 views

    " A little boy had a terminal illness. He knew he was dying even though his parents hadn’t told him, so one day he asked his mother,"Mom what’s it like to die? Will it hurt? The mother thought for a moment as she searched for an answer to the question then said, "Charlie", do you remember when you ...read more

  • One Of The Most Frequent Headlines The Past ...  PRO

    Contributed by Jim Kane on Mar 10, 2002
    based on 11 ratings
     | 1,433 views

    One of the most frequent headlines the past several months has been the Firestone tire safety issue on certain Ford Sport Utility Vehicles. However, not only have these two companies been linked together by business deals, they have also been linked together by marriage. In 1947 Harvey Firestone, ...read more

  • On An Average Day In The Usa: 1,169,863 People ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 12, 2005
     | 1,506 views

    On an average day in the USA: 1,169,863 people take a taxi, 176,810,950 eggs are laid, 21,000 gallons of oil are spilled from tankers and barges, 63,288 cars crash, 28 mailmen are bitten by dogs, 2 billion $1 bills are in circulation, industry generates nearly 1 pound of hazardous waste for every ...read more

  • No Marriage—no Divorce: Couples Who Once Might ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 27, 2006
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,009 views

    No Marriage—No Divorce: Couples who once might have wed and then divorced now are not marrying at all, reports The State of our Unions 2005, an annual report issued by the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University. The U.S. divorce rate is 17.7 per 1,000 married women, down from 22.6 in ‘80. ...read more

  • A Man Used To Carry His Aged Mother Up And Down ...

    Contributed by George Rhodes on Apr 19, 2006
     | 1,871 views

    A man used to carry his aged mother up and down the stairs of their home in Chicago. And she would grab onto the banister while he was carrying her up or down the stairs and hold on to it so tightly they couldn’t move. He’d say, "Momma, you have to let go of the banister or we can’t move." And ...read more

  • Secret Sex Stats

    Contributed by John Shearhart on Sep 27, 2006
     | 2,828 views

    “Secret Sex Stats: 1 in 20: Number of married men who admit to cheating at least once. 1 in 22: Number of married women who admit to cheating at least once. The average man’s typical lover is: A coworker. 1 in 3: Number of guys who take off their wedding rings when they go out without their ...read more

  • The Story Is Told Of A College Professor Who ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
    based on 3 ratings
     | 2,311 views

    The story is told of a college professor who visited the Fiji Islands. Being agnostic, he critically remarked to an elderly chief, "You’re a great leader, but it’s a pity you’ve been taken in by those foreign missionaries. They only want to get rich through you. "No one believes the Bible anymore. ...read more

  • I've Got Two Rings On My Hand Today. This One ...  PRO

    Contributed by Kevin Malone on Aug 26, 2007
    based on 9 ratings
     | 3,665 views

    I’ve got two rings on my hand today. This one is my wedding ring- 24 karat gold, very pure. The other is one my daughter got out of a gumball machine. It looks kind of gold but it is tin at best. The stone is pretty but I’m sure it’s made of plastic. Now which one of these is going to stand up ...read more

  • These Hands

    Contributed by Bill Butsko on Sep 2, 2007
    based on 2 ratings
     | 3,988 views

    “These Hands” A young man and a young woman became engaged and were looking forward to a near wedding day, when the young man was suddenly called into the service of his country. From the field of warfare letters regularly came and went, and love shined brightly in all of them. Then letters from ...read more

  • If I Were God

    Contributed by Peter Loughman on Apr 12, 2008
     | 633 views

    IF I WERE GOD If I were God….How many times have you heard people say that? “If I were God I would have everyone love everyone else, eliminate war, eliminate poverty and win the lottery.” Yeh, that’s just what we need, some thirty five year old running the universe. Have you ever thought that? ...read more

  • Perfect Gifts

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 16, 2009
     | 4,870 views

    PERFECT GIFTS Everyone loves to receive gifts at Christmas time. And I am sure that as Christmas approaches, we are wondering what lies behind those wrapped presents. I remember as a child that these four weeks of advent were so difficult. I would go by that tree about 30 million times a day ...read more

  • Everything Is Wonderful

    Contributed by Hugh W. Davidson on Mar 13, 2009
     | 2,812 views

    EVERYTHING IS WONDERFUL Charles Spurgeon said, "Everything is wonderful until you get used to it." I remember the first time I ever saw an automatic transmission in a car; I thought it was amazing but, unless we ordered it now, we’d never even see a standard on the lot. I remember the first ...read more

  • Little Girl Doesn't Understand Cleansing ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Oct 26, 2009
     | 4,652 views

    Little Girl Doesn’t Understand Cleansing Symbolism of Baptism Pastor Bob Beasley shares a true story told by a father in his church: “Our three-year-old daughter, Rena, sat with us during the baptismal service…which was a new experience for her. She exclaimed in surprise, ‘Why did he push that guy ...read more

  • An Interesting Thing Happened One Day In A ...

    Contributed by Davon Huss on Dec 14, 2009
     | 1,445 views

    An interesting thing happened one day in a church where the great American businessman Samuel Colgate was a member. During an evangelistic campaign a prostitute came forward and confessed her sins. She was broken-hearted and wept openly. She asked God to save her soul and expressed a desire to join ...read more

  • Dietrich Bonhoeffer Wrote: "Marriage Is ...

    Contributed by Curry Pikkaart on Aug 26, 2010
     | 3,567 views

    Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote: “Marriage is more than your love for each other. It has a higher dignity and power, for it is God's holy ordinance, through which he wills to perpetuate the human race till the end of time. In your love you see only your two selves in the world, but in marriage you are a ...read more