Sermon Central
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The Government Already Has!! PRO
Contributed by Scott Chambers on Jan 29, 2003 (message contributor)
THE GOVERNMENT ALREADY HAS!!
The Lord spoke to Noah and said, “Noah in six months I am going to make it rain until the whole world is covered with water and all the evil things are destroyed. But, I want to save a few good people and two of every living thing on the planet. So I want you to build an ark.”
Well, six months passed, the sky began to cloud up, and the rain began to fall in torrents. The Lord looked down and saw Nah sitting in his yard, weeping, and there was no ark. “Noah!” shouted the Lord, “Where is My ark?” “Lord please forgive me!” begged Noah. “I did my best but there were some problems --- big problems. First, I had to get a building permit for the ark’s construction, but Your plans did not meet their code. So, I had to hire an engineer to redo the plans, only to get into a long argument with him about whether to include a fire-sprinkler system.”
“My neighbors objected, claiming that I was violating zoning ordinances by building the ark in my front yard, because it was killing the dandelions --- so I had to get a variance from the city planning board. Then I had a big problem getting enough wood for the ark, because there was a ban on cutting trees to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists and the Fish and Game Commission that I needed the wood to save the owls, but they wouldn’t let me catch them, so NO OWLS.”
“Next I started gathering up the animals but got sued by an animal rights group that objected to my taking along only two of each kind; they wanted me to save them all. Then the Corps of Engineers wanted a map...
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A Custom Of The Natives In New Guinea Is Told. At ...
Contributed by Lou Nicholes on May 25, 2005
A custom of the natives in New Guinea is told. At certain times they have rituals, songs, and dances. They work themselves up into a frenzy and the ritual culminates in what are called “the murder songs,” in which they shout before God the names of the people they wish to kill. When the natives ...read more
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In The Fifteen Hundreds There Was A Protestant ... PRO
Contributed by Brad Beaman on Jul 24, 2003
In the fifteen hundreds there was a protestant reformer in England by the name of Hugh Latimer. He was known as a great preacher of his day and he had many opportunities to preach. One of his opportunities was to preach before the King Henry VIII of England. He thought about his great ...read more
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The Church Is Like Noah's Ark: The Stench Inside ... PRO
Contributed by Lynn Floyd on Jul 29, 2003
“The church is like Noah’s ark: The stench inside would be unbearable if it weren’t for the storm outside. It’s true—sometimes we stink and the world is stormy. But as imperfect as we are on this side of heaven, the miracle is that God in fact chooses to ...read more
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A Limerick Conveys A Message Very Pertinent To ... PRO
Contributed by Davon Huss on Oct 7, 2002
A limerick conveys a message very pertinent to all of us in the Lord’s Body. There once were two cats of Killkenny. Each thought there was one cat too many. They fought and they spit, they clawed and they bit, till instead of two cats there weren’t any! How many times have we seen the saga of ...read more
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Like Bill Hybels, I Believe That There Is Nothing ... PRO
Contributed by Jim Kane on May 25, 2004
Like Bill Hybels, I believe that there is nothing like the local church when it is working right. In addition, I agree with what he says after that sentence: “Its beauty is indescribable. Its power is breathtaking. Its potential is unlimited. It comforts the grieving and heals the broken in the ...read more
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