Sermons on Funny:

The Horse Leech

Contributed by Maurice Mccarthy on Nov 5, 2003

A leech is a blood sucker. A disgusting parasite that attempts to suck the life out of you. For the bible tells us, "life is in the blood." The two main methods of removing leeches are fire and salt. The spiritual parallel to removing spiritual leeches is

The Horse Leech Proverbs 30:15 The horseleach hath two daughters, crying, Give, give.. This is a message about spiritual leeches that attempt to suck the spiritual life out of you. Illus: Administratium The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered. The element, tentatively named ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 30:15

Denomination: Pentecostal

Integrity

Contributed by Steven Spillman on May 2, 2008

Integrity is an interesting word. Everybody wants it. A lot of folks claim to have it. And a lot of folks that claim to have it, turns out, don’t really have so much of it as they led us to believe.

Integrity is an interesting word. Everybody wants it. A lot of folks claim to have it. And a lot of folks that claim to have it, turns out, don’t really have so much of it as they led us to believe. All you’ve got to do is watch the evening news. Preachers, politicians, business leaders; all folks ...read more

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 15:52-54

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Accused People Series

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Apr 11, 2008

Like a prosecuting attorney, God levels accusations against the nation of Israel.

The Accused People (Malachi 2:1-17) 1. It gives us great satisfaction when someone gets caught cheating. Bonnie Jones shares this story: "I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the checkout line pushing a cart ...read more

Scripture: Malachi 2:1-17

Denomination: Independent/Bible

Soul-Lift

Contributed by Skip Alexander on Jun 30, 2008

Inward vs. outward change. We live in a world of face lifts when we need a soul-lift.

I. You Know You’re Getting Old When… • You and your teeth don’t sleep together. • You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren’t wearing any. • At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you’re not eating cereal. • You are on a first name basis with your ...read more

Scripture: 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Denomination: Baptist

God's Dress Code

Contributed by Brian Buriff on Mar 20, 2007

What every Christian should wear to church...or any other time in their sacred approach to God through worship, prayer, bible study and their devotions.

I. DEAR ABBY LETTERS – How To Dress In Church Dear Abby: May I respond to your reply regarding attire in church? As a priest and pastor, I’m appalled at how some people come dressed for Sunday worship. You said that “Dress codes have been greatly relaxed in recent decades,” which I find to be ...read more

Scripture: Exodus 28:15-30

Denomination: Church Of God

Peace Be With You

Contributed by David Richardson on Apr 5, 2007

Easter Sunday, evening message, 2007

Title: Peace be with you. Scripture: Luke 24:36-39 While they were still talking about this, Jesus himself stood among them and said to them, "Peace be with you." 37 They were startled and frightened, thinking they saw a ghost. 38 He said to them, "Why are you troubled, and why do doubts rise in ...read more

Scripture: Luke 24:36-39

Denomination: Calvary Chapel

Loving Together

Contributed by Todd Stiles on Nov 22, 2006

What would life and church be like without love? Find out as we walk through 1 Corinthians 13, the love chapter.

"Loving Together" 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 While our Elders find their seat, I’ll ask you to locate four chapters in your Bible, 1 Cor. 11-14, and hold those pages in your hand. Now, let me ask you a question: When you look at all the things a church does, what stands out as the most important? In ...read more

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 13:1-13

Denomination: Baptist

Survive This Evil World

Contributed by Daniel Habben on Sep 5, 2006

Survive This Evil World 1) With sharp eyes 2) With a melodious mouth

Wednesday’s newspaper reported that there were 74 deaths in Iraq in one day. What is the total body count up to now in Iraq and Afghanistan? It has to be in the thousands if not the tens of thousands. Because of this, Iraq and Afghanistan are not exactly places you and I would consider for holiday ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 5:15-20

Denomination: Lutheran

“what Kind Of Praying Must We Do?” - Part One Series

Contributed by Dave Mcfadden on Jan 13, 2011

Jesus teaches us that our prayers need to be daring.

It has been said the prayer is the greatest secret weapon of the church today. Great, because God promises to answer prayer. Secret, because most Christians do not know how prayer works. Our Lord’s disciples had asked Jesus to teach them to pray (v. 1). As part of His answer, Jesus shared a ...read more

Scripture: Luke 11:5-10

Denomination: Baptist

Big Faith In Little Things

Contributed by Theresa Ratliff on Mar 26, 2013

It's often easier for Christians to have faith in the big, amazing things God does than it is to have faith that he is acting in small ways in our lives every day.

“To have faith is to be sure of the things we hope for, to be certain of the things we cannot see.” Most Christians are familiar with some version of this verse. It’s been used as a definition for faith even in the secular world. It’s something we say to people to give ...read more

Scripture: Hebrews 11:1-40

Denomination: *other

Choosing The Best Series

Contributed by Billy Ricks on Apr 27, 2013

Paul penned this letter to the Philippians from a prison. Yet he was overjoyed at how God was his adverse circumstances to advance the Gospel. Paul's joy was completely centered in His realtionship with Jesus.

Intro: An old dog was watching a young dog chase his tail. The young dog stopped to rest, and told the older dog, “I believe happiness is in my tail, and if I catch it, then I will have happiness!” The older, wiser dog said, “I caught mine once. . . and I found out that happiness ...read more

Scripture: Philippians 1:1-11

Denomination: Baptist

Giant Challenges

Contributed by Perry Greene on Dec 2, 2013

This is the eleventh of 31 lessons on The Story. David becomes the replacement for Saul as king. In so doing he must overcome "Giant Challenges" of Saul, Goliath, and an Impossible Friendship with Jonathan.

1. Ideal Football Player The coach at Auburn University - Shug Jordan - had asked his former Linebacker Mike Kollin if he would help his alma Mater do some recruiting. Mike said, "Sure, coach. What kind of player are you looking for?" The coach said, "Well Mike, you know there's that fellow, you ...read more

Scripture: 1 Samuel 6:1-13

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

Christians Live By Faith 24/7

Contributed by David Mcnally on Feb 12, 2012

Faith is not an abstract or philosdophical concept but something tangivle and real, and not only for an hour or so one day a week, but for every aspect of daily living.

OT: 2 Kings 5:1-14 – Elisha and Naaman being healed of leprosy Gospel: Mark 1:40-45 Jesus heals a man of leprosy Sermon: Christians live by faith ‘Faith’ is not just an abstract thing; something to exercise for an hour or so on a Sunday, but something tangible and ...read more

Scripture: Mark 1:40-45

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Was It The Devil?

Contributed by G. D. Helton on Aug 10, 2013

A message on Self-Decption

Was It The Devil Sunday Morning, 07-14-13 Intro: I’m going to test either your memory or your youth with the question I am about to ask. Some of you are definitely old enough to remember and some of you were not even born yet. Have you ever heard the expression “The Devil made me do ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 36:2

Denomination: Pentecostal

"The Donkey Who Thought He Was A Horse"

Contributed by Ken Sauer on Mar 24, 2010

In Luke, when Jesus rides into Jerusalem on the back of a donkey, the crowds cheer Him--though they have no idea what the next few days will bring. Tne King has come to pay a ransom: the ransom for human sin. So, let us cheer His triumphal entry, but be a

Luke 19:28-40 Luke 23:1-49 “The Donkey who Thought He was a Horse” By: Ken Sauer, Pastor of East Ridge United Methodist Church, Chattanooga, TN There is nothing dignified about a donkey! We can look at him from any angle and we will fail to find what we might call a sense of ...read more

Denomination: United Methodist