Sermons on Funny:

If The Oil Runs Out

Contributed by Jeremy Morford on Jul 27, 2006

A message on being ready for the Lord’s return from the parable of the Wise and Foolish Virgins.

If the Oil Runs Out Text: Matthew 25:1-13 Intro: In my younger, more foolish days, there was a game that I liked to play that my wife didn’t like very much. We’d be driving down the highway, when I’d notice that the fuel gage was getting close to empty. My wife’s preference at this point, was ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 25:1-13

Denomination: Holiness

R.e.a.l. Important Things

Contributed by John Pierce on Jan 7, 2006

The important stuff are Relationships, understanding that Jesus is for Everyone, accepting that with Jesus we are able to stand through anything and that this relationship with Christi is truly Livable.

Let me share a little story with you… It was the day after Christmas at a church in San Francisco. Pastor Mike was looking at the nativity scene outside when he noticed the baby Jesus was missing from the figures. Immediately, Pastor Mike turned towards the church to call the police. But as he ...read more

Scripture: John 3:16

Denomination: Assembly Of God

Seeing The Unseen

Contributed by Mark Borgetti on Jan 31, 2006

The intent of the message was to clearly demonstrate all people can experience the powerful presence of an invisible God by recognizing three visible signs of His real presence. 1. Signs of Faith 2. Signs of Hope 3. Signs of Love

Seeing the Unseen Funeral of a still born child for first time parents 2 Corinthians 4:16-5:1 So we do not lose heart. Even though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory ...read more

Denomination: Lutheran

From Redneck To Riches

Contributed by J. Curtis Goforth, O.s.l. on May 19, 2006

This sermon describes our need to assess our earthly possessions from a heavenly perspective.

“From Redneck to Riches” Sermon on Matthew 13: 31-33, 44-52 Pentecost +10-Year A July 24, 2005 Rev. J. Curtis Goforth, O.S.L. “The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field.” I don’t know about you, but I can’t help but read this passage from Matthew’s gospel and not think of the ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 13:31-52

Denomination: United Methodist

Memories

Contributed by Rick Bennett on Apr 1, 2003

Memories are powerful reminders of our past both good and bad. Peter deals with his memories of denial.

Memories • This is a time of daily memory making for me…..Tyler last night. • Memories are one of the most conflicted parts of our existence. • Good memories/bad memories • There are some we wish we could just forget • Was this Paul’s thorn? • Breaking the very heart of God (you call me preacher, ...read more

Scripture: Mark 16:1-7

Denomination: Baptist

Crossing Over 1 Series

Contributed by Joseph Schuck on Sep 6, 2003

This series focuses on crossing over obstacles, problems, situations, and the like which can impede our walk with God.

CROSSING OVER 1 Scripture: Mark 4:35-41 - “That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, "Let us go over to the other side." Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over ...read more

Scripture: Mark 4:35-41

Denomination: Church Of God

Parable Of The Tenants Series

Contributed by Revd. Martin Dale on Sep 12, 2003

What exactly was Jesus saying?

Mark 12:1-12 The Parable of the Tenants 1He then began to speak to them in parables: "A man planted a vineyard. He put a wall around it, dug a pit for the winepress and built a watchtower. Then he rented the vineyard to some farmers and went away on a journey. 2At harvest time he sent a ...read more

Scripture: Mark 12:1-12

Denomination: Anglican

5 Keys To A Healthy Church

Contributed by Jeffrey Kellum on Oct 28, 2003

Church growth is a health issue. Anything with life will grow if it is healthy. This sermon was compiled from principles outlined in Rick Warren’s "Purpose Driven Life" and Dan Southerland’s "Transitioning"

I. Introduction: Parachute Story from the National Training Center, Ft Irwin, CA 1989. In April of ’89 I served as a Detachment Commander during the Army’s first Special Operations Rotation to the National Training Center in Fort Irwin, CA. Our mission was to parachute in and take down a radar ...read more

Scripture: Acts 2:40-47

Denomination: Baptist

It's Vacation Time

Contributed by Terry Jones on Jun 9, 2006

Summer is a time for vacations, at time to relax but no retreat. Here’s a practical look at the believer’s approach to a little R & R.

It’s Vacation Time Single Message - Faithfulness Text: Luke 9:10-17 Vacation time has started. It’s a season when many will pack the bags, round up the kids and head out of town to “get some R and R”. A time to “just be me” –but not without the laptop, the cell phone, the Ipod, the ...read more

Scripture: Luke 9:10-17

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Kingdom Values

Contributed by Jon Mackinney on Sep 9, 2010

The values of the kingdom of Heaven are really different from the values of the world. And the greatest value of God's kingdom is really counter-culture, even though the culture gives lip service to it.

Passage: Matthew 18:1-9 Intro: Growing up in the 1960’s, we learned the meaning of “counter-culture” 1. whole group of people called hippies who marched to a new set of values. 2. they called it “the new morality”, which Christians said was just “the old ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 18:1-9

Denomination: Evangelical Free

Part 5 - Matthew 11:13-14 - In A Previous Life I Was A Dolphin? Series

Contributed by Ross Cochrane on Jun 11, 2010

How can John the Baptist be Elijah the prophet? Reincarnation? Malachi 4:5 (NLT) gives a prophecy about Elijah. It says "Look, I am sending you the prophet Elijah before the great and dreadful day of the Lord arrives."

Part 5 - Matthew 11:13-14 - IN A PREVIOUS LIFE I WAS A DOLPHIN? I asked some friends what they thought about REINCARNATION last night and got some funny responses - should have known. One of them said "once, in a previous life, I was a dolphin... lol jk." Another one said "It’s weird to think you ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 11:13-14

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Working Of All Things - Bearing Your Fruit Series

Contributed by Larry M. Treat on Nov 22, 2010

Encouraging you to bear the burden of your calling, your gift, and your faith for the cause of Christ.

The Working of All Things Bearing your fruit Gen. 4:1-16 • The Word of God begins with such a positive scene o How that God took nothing and made a spectacular Something  The beauty of the creation story can only truly unfold as your imagination begins to pull the words off of ...read more

Scripture: Romans 8:2-38

Denomination: Pentecostal

Espionage In The Kingdom Series

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Feb 22, 2010

Since the time of Cain, there have always been false teachers in the spriritual realm; they are certainly the vast majority. But when false teaching creeps into the believing community, it is especially dastardly. Peter will share two truths about false

Espionage in the Kingdom (2 Peter 2:1-3) 1. Every so often, I like to emphasize the basic Christian facts. I try to teach these to the kids at AWANA, but I have also learned the importance of teaching or review them with adults. 2. In a previous sermon, I mentioned how we need to know them, and ...read more

Scripture: 2 Peter 2:1-3

Denomination: Independent/Bible

Fruit Of The Spirit: Patience Series

Contributed by Mike Wilkins on Oct 19, 2009

How does the Spirit grow patience in our lives?

Fruit of the Spirit October 18, 2009 Galatians 5:22-23 Patience What is patience? – waiting without getting upset Patience with people. – often the little things – bad driving (or perceived bad driving), family members quirks, mistakes, but also sin – It’s the Spirit’s job to convict, but ...read more

Scripture: Galatians 5:22-23

Denomination: *other

Respond To The Presence Series

Contributed by Bruce Rzengota on Dec 28, 2009

CHRISTMAS IS ALL ABOUT DISCOVERING A GIFT THAT IS SO INCREDIBLE THAT WE RESPOND TO IT WITH TOTAL ABANDON.

Respond to the Presence Crave More Presence Luke 2:8-20 12/20/09 The Gentlemen’s Guide on What not to Get Your Wife for Christmas #10: A Vacuum Cleaner The only possible way to make this a cool gift would be to give the hands-down coolest vacuum cleaner of all time... which I’m afraid hasn’t ...read more

Scripture: Luke 2:8-20

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance