Sermons on Dirty Jokes:

Acres Of Diamonds

Contributed by Graeme Saunders on Nov 15, 2013

a message that show us that we have acres of diamond those diamond is Gods grace and acceptance, the world wants you to get into works and condemnation but God wants you to walk in grace.

Acres of diamonds The story was about a farmer Who lived in Africa and through a visitor became tremendously excited About looking for diamonds. Diamonds were already discovered in abundance on the African continent and this farmer got so excited about the idea of millions of dollars worth of ...read more

Scripture: John 8:4-9

Denomination: Pentecostal

Incarnation

Contributed by Steven Simala Grant on Dec 16, 2011

The Word creates the universe and all that is within it and centuries later he presents Himself in human form as a helpless little baby, all to woo us.

Incarnation Advent #3 Dec 11, 2011 Blackness. Deep, inky, heavy, darkness. The kind that presses in from all sides, crushing, chaotic and formless, and yet powerful. It is not eyes-shut blackness – it is eyes wide open blackness, pupils straining to dilate further, desperate for the ...read more

Scripture: Genesis 1:1-5

Denomination: Baptist

Clean Living Series

Contributed by Vic Folkert on Oct 3, 2018

The sermon tackles obscure commandments, with practical implications: 1) All of life matters to God, 2) All of life can be made clean by God, and 3) We can be clean now. Practical applications to live a clean and holy life.

CLEAN LIVING—sel. From Leviticus 11-15 (Preacher: Begin with “Things Moms would probably not say...” on YouTube or Powerpoint… End the list with… “Let me smell that shirt. Yeah, that’s good for another week.” And, “Don’t bother cleaning your room. It makes the rest of the house ...read more

Scripture: Leviticus 11:1-47

Denomination: Presbyterian/Reformed

Adoration At This Time In Your Life

Contributed by Dennis Selfridge on Oct 15, 2003

How to properly partake of the Lord’s Supper

Adoration AT this time in your life. In a sense, today we are having a “thanks dinner”. We are recalling what Jesus did for us on the cross by rejoicing at a sacred time which Jesus gave us to do. We are going to Worship around the Table. Our whole lives are to be an act of adoration, based on ...read more

Scripture: 2 Corinthians 11:23-34

Denomination: Wesleyan

"Seeing Humanity Through Jesus' Eyes"

Contributed by Ken Sauer on Feb 10, 2006

The ultimate good in life is when we are liberated, let loose to become such lovers of God that we surprise ourselves by loving those whom God loves.

“Seeing Humanity Through Jesus’ Eyes” Mark 1:40-45 2 Kings 5:1-14 By: Rev. Kenneth E. Sauer, Pastor of Parkview United Methodist Church, Newport News, VA www.parkview-umc.org Both in our Old Testament Lesson and in our Gospel Lesson for this morning we come face to face with the disease of ...read more

Scripture: Mark 1:40-45

Denomination: United Methodist

The Bear Family - Part2 Series

Contributed by James Pless on Jun 6, 2006

The strong are to bear the weak

The Bear Family- Part2 Romans 15:1 (KJV) 1 We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Introduction Do you know your weakness? Your weakness can defeat you. 8848. Waterloo’s Dip In The Road There is a modern picture by Stanley Berkley, ...read more

Scripture: Romans 15:1

Denomination: Baptist

A Philosophy Of Gratitude-- Thanksgiving 3 Of 4 Series

Contributed by David Hodgin on Dec 2, 2005

A right philosophy is one that is overflowing with thankfulness. Gratitude is nothing less than the key to happiness.

A Philosophy of Gratitude—Thanksgiving 3 of 4 Col 2:6 So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, Col 2:7 rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. Col 2:8 See to it that no one takes you captive ...read more

Scripture: Colossians 2:6-8

Getting Ready For Christmas

Contributed by Douglas Vincent on Nov 19, 2004

Romans 13:11-14 gives us three ways to prepare for Jesus’ Coming

Intro 1. General – 2. Specific – Are we prepared for the coming of our Savior? 3. Text –Romans 13: 11 Besides this you know what hour it is, how it is full time now for you to wake from sleep. For salvation is nearer to us now than when we first believed; 12 the night is far gone, the day is at ...read more

Scripture: Romans 13:11-14

Denomination: Methodist

Dealing With The Mess Of Ministry

Contributed by Jay Robison on Dec 11, 2007

Ministry can be messy, but Jesus can be glorified in us. Church conflict is inevitable. In the conflict we must look for God’s power.

I have used www.sermoncentral along with several other resources in this message. DEALING WITH THE MESS OF MINISTRY October 21, 2007 Jay Davis Robison 1 PETER 3:8-12 Today our church honors support staff Often in the background but essential to who we are Often times clean up ...read more

Scripture: 1 Peter 3:8-12

Denomination: Baptist

How To Get The Most Out Of Your Bible Series

Contributed by Tim Huie on Apr 7, 2008

Although the Bible can produce spriritual growth, Christians may interfere with the Bible’s ability to help us grow.

1. Illus. of Mutiny on the Bounty • The true story of the Mutiny on the Bounty has often been retold. Nine mutineers with six native men and twelve native (Tahitian) women put ashore on Pitcairn Island in 1790. • One sailor soon began distilling alcohol, and the little colony was plunged into ...read more

Scripture: James 1:18-25

Denomination: Baptist

The Glory Of God Through Us! Series

Contributed by Paul Clemente on Feb 21, 2009

As a Believer of Christ, God sees you like a mirror capable of reflecting God’s glory and every Christian has a responsibility to allow God’s glory to reflect more and more.

Angels we have heard on high, singing sweetly o’er the plains. And the mountains in reply, echoing their joyous strain: Gloria, Gloria, in excelsis Deo! Glory to God in the highest! The word glory appears over 350 times in the Bible! It’s a significant word in Scriptures. What does it ...read more

Scripture: 2 Corinthians 3:1-18

Denomination: Independent/Bible

Psalm 51: Prayer For Pardon Series

Contributed by Daniel Austin on Mar 16, 2010

David’s Pattern of Forgiveness: Realize our error; Repent of our actions; Request forgiveness and restoration of favor; Rejoice and give thanks.

Psalm 51: Prayer for Pardon Selected Palms 12/07/08 AM Text: Psalm 51:1-19 Introduction Some of you may have recently received by way of email a picture from Marie Adams. It seems they have experienced the first dusting of snow at their new home in Arkansas. Now growing up in Tucson I only saw snow ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 51:1-19

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

Who Can Climb God's Hill?

Contributed by Daniel Habben on Mar 17, 2008

Jesus gives us the clean hands and pure heart needed to stand atop God’s hill.

“Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after.” Did you ever wonder what kind of hill it was that Jack and Jill had to climb if they couldn’t make it up without cracking their skulls? You wouldn’t think it should be such a ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 24:1-10

Denomination: Lutheran

The Family Of God: Serving One Another

Contributed by C Jordan on May 5, 2015

If each member of the family of God will do their part, it will help the family to become healthy and full of love.

THE FAMILY OF GOD #2: SERVING ONE ANOTHER INTRO TO TOPIC: Question: What are three things you like best about your family? Share. • What I love about my family: We love each other; it’s a safe place where we can be ourselves. And we can be a little crazy! Yesterday’s spontaneous ...read more

Scripture: Acts 6:1-7

Denomination: *other

Grace And Right Living Series

Contributed by Martin Wiles on Jun 6, 2011

The believer should stay as far away as possible from anything that would damage their testimony and the name of our Lord.

Romans 13:11-14 Introduction: A. Have you ever been late for something important? 1. The Home Alone movies were some of my favorites. I think they accurately portray what a young boy would do if his parents left him home alone-whether on purpose or accidentally. 2. In the first two movies, the ...read more

Scripture: Romans 13:11-14

Denomination: Baptist