Sermons on Dirty Jokes:

The King Is Coming

Contributed by Scott Carmer on Apr 2, 2007

It is Palm Sunday. King Jesus is riding down the mountain into Jerusalem.

The King is Coming Luke 19:28-40 April 1, 2007 I was listening to NPR News on the way in to the church this morning and heard some very good news. Despite everything we have heard and have been led to believe during the past 30 years, Elvis has not left the building. He is alive and well and was ...read more

Scripture: Luke 19:28-40

Denomination: Methodist

The Downward Mobility Of Jesus Series

Contributed by David Smith on Jul 6, 2009

“For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. Although He was rich, for your sakes he became poor, so that you, through his poverty, might become rich. “

I thought it was about time I began a sermon with a joke, and today’s passage did make me think of that story about the world’s leaders at prayer, asking God when their countries would repay their national debts. As the story goes, President Obama prays to God, asking when the US economy will ...read more

Denomination: Episcopal/Anglican

The Downward Mobility Of Jesus Series

Contributed by David Smith on Sep 21, 2009

“For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. Although He was rich, for your sakes he became poor, so that you, through his poverty, might become rich. “

I thought it was about time I began a sermon with a joke, and today’s passage did make me think of that story about the world’s leaders at prayer, asking God when their countries would repay their national debts. As the story goes, President Obama prays to God, asking when the US economy will ...read more

Denomination: Episcopal/Anglican

When Laughter Is Not The Best Medicine

Contributed by Daniel Habben on Mar 15, 2010

James urges us to turn our laughter over sin into mourning.

“Knock, knock.” Who’s there? “Sadie.” Sadie who? “Say de magic word and I’ll let you out!” “Knock, knock.” Who’s there? “Nobel.” Nobel who? “No bell so I knocked!” “Knock, knock.” Who’s ...read more

Scripture: James 4:7-10

Denomination: Lutheran

Big Enough Resting Place For God

Contributed by Samuel M on Oct 3, 2023

Though Abraham's tent appeared small on the outside, but his heart was a big enough place to host God and become a resting place for God.

In Genesis 18, God came and rested in Abraham's tent. Physically, it was merely a tent, but spiritually, Abraham's heart could be a big enough palace or mansion for God to rest in. God took rest in Abraham’s heart. Abraham’s heart was a big enough place to host God and serve as a resting ...read more

So Help Me God

Contributed by John Williams Iii on Aug 14, 2020

This sermon is about honesty and oaths. (from May 5, 2013).

SO HELP ME GOD Text: Matthew 5:33 – 37 I once heard a comedian tell a joke that had a rhetorical question. If you were a lawyer, his joke may or may not have been funny depending on whether or not the given lawyer or lawyers had a sense of humor. His joke went like this: “How can you tell ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 5:33-37

Denomination: United Methodist

Lesson 5: Arresting Intros Series

Contributed by I. Grant Spong on Feb 28, 2018

How to begin a sermon well.

Lesson Intro How often have we heard a preacher start a sermon with a long and complicated story or a boring series of irrelevant jokes that made us wonder where the sermon was going? It happens! How can we avoid making the same mistake and week after week deliver consistently good ...read more

Denomination: Baptist

How Often Should I Change My Heart

Contributed by Rick Gillespie- Mobley on Jul 12, 2008

This sermon deals with the realization that every believer needs to have a continuous change of heart to become all that God wants him or her to be.

How Often Should I Change My Heart Luke 19:1-19:10 3/13/2005 Psalm 15:1-5 Colossians 3:1-4 For years car manufactures have been telling us to change our oil after so many thousand miles. Some recommend every 3,000, some every 5,000, and if you have the synthetic oil, it was suggested ...read more

Scripture: Luke 19:1-10

Denomination: Presbyterian/Reformed

Who Can Dwell With God?

Contributed by Kevin L. Jones on Sep 30, 2018

A sermon examining the answer to David's question in Psalm 15... "who can dwell in God's Holy Hill?"

Who Can Dwell With God? Psalm 15:1-5 As Christians we have an amazing privilege. Because of Christ's work at Calvary, we have been granted access to the Father. After enduring the agony of the Cross "Jesus cried with a loud voice, and gave up the ghost. And the veil of the temple was rent in ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 15:1-5

Denomination: Baptist

Mud Night

Contributed by Dan Borchert on Sep 23, 2004

This was done at a youth mud night were there there was a lot of mud, everybody was covered in mud. Then applied being covered with mud to our lives, and wanting to be cleaned with Jesus

Psalm 40:1-3 Mud Night Introduction A. I have a feeling I know what must of you want to do when you get home B. Take a nice CLEAN HOT LONG shower C. I admit I feel kind of gross and slimy D. I just want to be clean, don’t you? E. Let’s talk about our experience tonight I. In the ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 40:1-3

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Be Strong For God Is With You

Contributed by Jay Patton on May 15, 2002

Good sermon for ordination or installation service

Introduction: New minister & Wife-Mother story Let’s look @ someone who did get/accept the call READ/PRAY Proposition Statement: When God calls you to a task… I. Don’t let the size of the task paralyze you (vs. 1-4) A. The Death of Moses 1. Hard Act to follow (All that Moses did) 2. ...read more

Scripture: Joshua 1:1-9

Denomination: Baptist

Love In Action: Serving Like Jesus Youth Sermon

Contributed by Youth Sermons on Oct 5, 2023

As disciples, we are called to serve others with love, following the example set by Jesus. This service begins in our families, extends to our communities, and impacts the world.

Today, we're going to talk about serving others. You know, like helping out at home, at school, or in our community. But we're not just talking about any kind of serving. We're talking about serving like Jesus did. Let's start with a story. Imagine you're at a fancy dinner party. Everyone's dressed ...read more

Scripture: John 13:1-17, 1 John 3:18

Topics: Servant Leadership, Biblical Humility, Compassionate Actions, Selfless Love

Scraps For Jesus

Contributed by Evie Megginson on Oct 18, 2000

The Prophet, Isaiah, long ago drew a picture of the people of his day by using the illustration of a man who fell a tree and used its parts in various ways.

The Prophet, Isaiah, long ago drew a picture of the people of his day by using the illustration of a man who fell a tree and used its parts in various ways. With part of it, he he warmed himself, with part of it, he used it for fuel,with part of it, he used it t cook his foor and after ...read more

Scripture: Isaiah 44:10-17

Denomination: Baptist

The Emmaus Road

Contributed by Revd. Martin Dale on Apr 5, 2008

Why did Luke only chose to record two post Resurrection appearances of Jesus - and why was the Emmaus Road experience one of them

The road to Emmaus Story: The legendary Malcolm Muggeridge was a British journalist, author , satirist and media personality He was also a Marxist before he found Christ. During the Cold War he travelled to Russia to write a story about the Communist party and the decline of religion in that ...read more

Scripture: Luke 24:13-35

Denomination: Anglican

Fill 'er Up

Contributed by Jennifer Walls on Nov 20, 2006

A Thanksgiving message about filling up on food, fun, and other good things

I have entitled this morning’s message “Fill ‘Er Up” because that is what many us will be doing this week. We will not only fill up our bellies with Turkey but we will also fill up several other things with something other than food. Many of us will begin this week by filling up Monday and ...read more

Scripture: Luke 15:8-34

Denomination: Methodist