In Sermon Illustrations: "Pastor Humor"

Pastor John R Ramsey Once Wrote, "For Some Time I ...

Contributed by Bruce Howell on Aug 1, 2008

Pastor John R Ramsey once wrote, “For some time I have had a person provide me with a rose boutonniere to pin on the lapel of my suit every Sunday. Because I always got a flower on Sunday morning, I really did not think much of it. It was a nice gesture that I appreciated, but it became routine. ...read more

Tags: Kindness

Denomination: Wesleyan

I'd Like To Begin By Telling You A Little Story ...  PRO

Contributed by Alan Perkins on Mar 28, 2001

I’d like to begin by telling you a little story about something that happened to me this week. I took the minivan in for an oil change at the Chrysler dealer. I was sitting in the waiting room, which was empty except for me and one other man. I was a little bored, so I struck up a conversation. And ...read more

Tags: Lincoln, Humor, Discipleship, Christmas

Denomination: Baptist

Since Some Of The Best Illustrations Are What Not ...  PRO

Contributed by Matthew Kratz on Sep 21, 2008

Since some of the best illustrations are what not to do, I offer a few tips on How to Turn a Disagreement into a Feud: 1. Be sure to develop and maintain a fear of conflict, letting your own feelings build up so you are in an explosive frame of mind. 2. If you must state your concerns, be as vague ...read more

Tags: Humor, Anger, Fear Failure

Denomination: Other

Dmv

Contributed by Perry Greene on Dec 26, 2012

When my wife and I attended Freed-Hardeman College (now University), one of our teachers gave a chapel talk about the importance of names. In so doing, he told us HIS story of the difficulties he had growing up with the name, “RC” Oliver. As a child entering school, his teacher and principal did ...read more

Tags: Humor, Commandments God's Name

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

Burning The Turkey

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Nov 25, 2019

But what if you burn the bird? There is a positive way of looking at it: • Salmonella won't be a concern • No one will overeat. • Everyone will think it's Cajun Blackened. • Uninvited guests will think twice next year. • Your cheese broccoli lima bean casserole will gain newly found ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 103:1-5

Tags: Thanksgiving, Turkey, Thanksgiving Humor

Denomination: Independent/Bible

You Need Mercy!!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 30, 2020

One day, a woman who occasionally walked through the park after work, stopped to have her picture taken by a photographer. She was very excited to see the photo, but when she looked at it, her face dropped. She turned to the photographer and stated rather sharply, “This is not right! This is not ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 5:1-12

Tags: Mercy, Humor, Judgment, Justice

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Chillin Ain’t What I Thought It Was

Contributed by James Snyder on Oct 3, 2020

Last week the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage came up with a brilliant idea. At least, at the time, it seemed brilliant. “Why don’t we,” she began, “take Monday off and just chill?” Since it's been a long time since I did any chillin, I had to ask her, "What do we chill ...read more

Scripture: Amos 3:3

Tags: Humor, Vacation, Day Off

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

A Shortcut Is Not Always That Short

Contributed by James Snyder on May 1, 2021

I have always appreciated shortcuts in life. If I can find a shortcut, I will take it because time is valuable to me. I take pride in coming up with a shortcut that actually saves me time. However, not all of my shortcuts have really been that short and I have paid the price. Last week, for ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 32:8

Tags: Humor, Shortcut, Wrong Way

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

The Blossoming Flower Whisperer

Contributed by James Snyder on Jul 17, 2021

When it comes to flowers, I am the epitome of naivety. I have no expertise whatsoever in the plant world. All I see are red, blue and yellow. Don't get me wrong here; I enjoy flowers. However, when it comes to names, I am off the planet. I don't need to know the name of a flower to really ...read more

Scripture: Song of Songs 2:12

Tags: Flowers, Humor, Blossoming, Whisperer

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Don't Judge A Person By Their Cover-Up

Contributed by James Snyder on Jul 31, 2021

Have you ever had one of those Déjà vu moments? The other week I was in the shopping mall to pick up some items for the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. She shops so much that I have to help her on occasion. On this occasion, I was walking down the mall and stopped dead in my tracks. ...read more

Scripture: Philippians 2:3

Tags: Judgement, Humor, Encouragement, Judging

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

What's All These Gadgets For?

Contributed by James Snyder on Aug 14, 2021

Without any hesitation, I will gladly admit that I am on the short side when it comes to gadgets. For me, most of them do not make any sense at all. Instead, I like things simple and easy. As for the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, she is obsessed with gadgets. She loves them almost as much as ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 1:7

Tags: Frustration, Wisdom, Humor, Instruction

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Never Despair (What A Hilarious Story!)

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Nov 14, 2021

Robert Morgan has the following humorous illustration to encourage us to emulate Paul and "never despair". I read about a man whose route to work every day took him through a particular park in the city, and every day he saw an old fellow sitting on the park bench. This fellow was an ...read more

Scripture: 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Tags: Depression, Despair, Humor, Discouragement

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

When A Bar Had More Faith Than The Church!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Mar 8, 2022

DO YOU BELIEVE IN PRAYER? A tale is told about a small town that had historically been “dry,” but then a local businessman decided to build a bar. A group of believers from a local church were concerned and planned an all-night prayer meeting to ask God to intervene. It just so happened that ...read more

Tags: Church, Prayer, Humor, Jokes

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

When Is It Okay To Be Snarly?

Contributed by James Snyder on Aug 6, 2022

Normally, whatever normal means, I don’t get agitated by many things. I can keep my cool under the most bizarre circumstances. Nothing gets under my skin, and I can take everything with a grin. I can’t remember the last time I lost my temper and got mad. I’ve been married for over 50 years, so I ...read more

Scripture: John 8:44

Tags: Humor, Telemarketers, Snarly, Aggitation

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

The Praise The Lord Horse!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Nov 7, 2022

So, a man who is not a Christian wants to buy a horse... He sees an ad on Craigslist for a great Arabian Stallion. So, he goes to the seller’s ranch to try out the horse and see just how great this stallion really is. When he gets to the ranch where the horse is for sale, the owner says to the ...read more

Tags: Worship, Praise, Humor, Horses

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Story Of The Christian Lion

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Nov 20, 2022

A missionary in Africa was walking through a jungle when he heard the ominous roar of a lion behind him. He was very scared and dropped immediately to his knees and started praying feverishly! "Oh Lord," prayed the missionary, “You know I have served you my whole life. I have even ...read more

Scripture: Jeremiah 33:3

Tags: Thanksgiving, Protection, Prayer, Humor

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

These Old Bones Of Mine

Contributed by James Snyder on May 20, 2023

I had a frightening experience the other day. I know I must be getting old because things that never frightened me before frighten me. I also see things I never saw before. Going into the bathroom one morning, I looked in the mirror, and my grandfather looked back at me. I almost passed out. With ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 51:8, Psalm 34:20

Tags: Joy, Age, Humor, Bones

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

If Marriage Is That Much Work.......lol

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Feb 24, 2016

IF MARRIAGE IS THAT MUCH WORK........LOL Because of a shortage of maids, the minister’s wife advertised for a male servant to help around the house. The next morning, a nicely dressed young man came to the front door of the parsonage. The minister opened the door and jumped right into the ...read more

Scripture: Genesis 2:1-23

Tags: Marriage, Humor, Husbands And Wives, Jokes

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Lazy Man Search

Contributed by Loyd C. Taylor on Jun 25, 2025

Humor: The Laziest Man Search - Roll Me Over One hot June day, when the foreman didn’t hear or see any activity, he found his workers in the breakroom soaking up the A/C. He said, “This is the laziest bunch of workers I’ve ever seen. I just don’t know which one of you is the laziest.” He reaches ...read more

Scripture: Colossians 3:23, Ephesians 4:28, John 6:27, Psalm 90:17, 1 Corinthians 3:6-9, 1 Corinthians 15:58, Matthew 9:35-38, Colossians 3:23-24, John 4:35-38  (view more)  (view less)

Tags: Humor, Labor, Lazy, Laughter, Zealous, Preacher Jokes, Work Humor  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Baptist

A Perfect Preacher  PRO

Contributed by David Parks on Jan 30, 2003

A PERFECT PREACHER After hundreds of years, a model preacher has been found to suit everyone. He preaches exactly 20 minutes and then sits down. He condemns sin but never hurts anyone. He works from 8:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. In every type of work from preaching to custodial service. He makes $60.00 a ...read more

Tags: Church, Leadership General, Leadership, John The Baptist, Hope, Pastor, Pastors, Qualification, Sin, Thanksgiving, Thankful, Thanks  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ