Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Dec 24, 2021
. As in many homes on New Year's Day, Janet and Nigel, a happily married couple, faced the annual conflict of which was more important: the football match on television, or the lunch itself. Hoping to keep the peace Nigel ate lunch with the rest of the family, and even lingered for some
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Independent/Bible
Contributed by Frank Gallagher on Feb 20, 2001
based on 98 ratings
| 4,674 views
A few years ago, I was watching David Letterman, and he was broadcasting his show from Las Vegas. He was doing his opening monologue and he told this joke.
He said that he was standing in front of one of the casinos, and a man came up to him looking desperate.
"Please!" the man begged
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Independent/Bible
Contributed by Joel Pankow on Apr 13, 2001
based on 200 ratings
| 9,623 views
POSSUMS AND THE GRAVE
I have heard that possums are smart animals. You wouldn’t think so because you hardly ever see one except when it’s dead on the road. There’s a joke that goes, “why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!”
But possums, it turns out,
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Lutheran
Contributed by David Slone on Sep 7, 2004
based on 3 ratings
| 1,734 views
I’ve heard the story of a young boy who was experiencing his first funeral. He looked around and normally happy and jovial aunts and uncles were now crying. Uncles usually quick with a joke and word, stare wide eyed at a casket. He felt fear and amazing confusion. And why not, what other
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Baptist
Contributed by Sermon Central on Sep 28, 2004
based on 17 ratings
| 8,168 views
THE REAL DEAL?
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young accountant who was fresh out of school, "What starting salary were you thinking about?" The Accountant said, "In the neighborhood of 100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The interviewer
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Contributed by Paul Shafit on Aug 4, 2007
A colleague was invited to hold a speech in Japan. Aware of his reputation as a very good speaker, he was surprised that his audience did not react at all to any of his perfectly timed jokes and witticisms. In fact, the audience did not react to anything he said. Somewhat put down, he went back to
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Mark Armstrong on Jun 2, 2009
A FEW WORDS
Imagine going into a bank, innocently filling out a withdrawal slip, and within minutes being arrested by the police. When Ron Schatz filled out a withdrawal slip in an American bank, he had no idea that handcuffs would soon be placed upon him. It took a while to straighten out the
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Presbyterian/Reformed
Contributed by Brandon Park on Jan 31, 2010
I have heard that possums are smart animals. You wouldn’t think so because you hardly ever see one except when it’s dead on the road. There’s a joke that goes, “why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!” But possums, it turns out, are smart. They won’t enter
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Baptist
Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Feb 13, 2023
President [Lincoln] prefaced a discussion of the draft Emancipation Proclamation by reading aloud from a favorite humorist. In response to the disapproval of some members of his cabinet, Mr. Lincoln said: Gentlemen, why don’t you laugh? With the fearful strain that is upon me night and day, if I
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Independent/Bible
Contributed by Sermon Central on Mar 1, 2005
based on 15 ratings
| 3,382 views
This is a true story that has come back to me on several occasions as a joke.
Wilma had been a member of our church for many,many years. In her later years she needed the assistance of a cane to help in walking. As she was talking with me, she would make points by lightly tapping me on the chest
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Contributed by James Vilgos on Nov 18, 2005
based on 4 ratings
| 4,177 views
Church is a Hospital for sinners:
A Some are content with placebos, fake medicines that you think are healing you so you feel good. Things that get you excited like music, a joke in the sermon, an emotional speaker things that they receive as entertainment and you think that is the Holy
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Orthodox
based on 9 ratings
| 1,749 views
Recently, a 20-year-old University of Washington student named Adam Burtle posted an unusual item on the Internet auction site eBay. The bidding began at 5 cents on this particular article and eventually reached $400 by the end of the auction. It was listed under the heading of “20 yr-old Seattle
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Baptist
Contributed by Mary Lewis on Aug 3, 2003
based on 2 ratings
| 2,106 views
Sherlock Holmes and his assistant Dr. Watson are camping. After enjoying a day of relaxation, they pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night, Holmes wakes Watson. "Watson, look up at the stars and tell me what you deduce."
Hoping to please his boss with
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Baptist
The story is told of a student taking an exam, who had studied hard and knew all the material, so he breezed through the first nine questions. When he got to the last question, however, he was stuck. It read, “What is the first name of the woman who cleans this school?”
He figured it was some kind
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Episcopal/Anglican
Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 12, 2007
"Death and Taxes Tax his cow, tax his goat, Tax his pants, tax his coat, Tax his crops, tax his work, Tax his tie, tax his shirt, Tax his chew, tax his smoke; Teach him taxes are no joke.Tax his tractor, tax his mule, Teach him taxes are a rule, Tax his oil, tax his gas, Tax his notes, tax his
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Sermon Central