Contributed by Paul Fritz on Oct 18, 2000
based on 36 ratings
| 1,362 views
When you go to a doctor for your annual check-up, he or she will often begin to poke, prod, and press various places, all the while asking, "Does this hurt? How about this?" If you cry out in pain, one of two things has happened. Either the doctor has pushed too hard, without the right sensitivity.
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Keith Davis on May 5, 2003
based on 13 ratings
| 2,169 views
HERE ARE THE TOP 10 THINGS YOU’LL PROBABLY NEVER HEAR IN CHURCH
10.Hey! It’s MY turn to sit in the front pew!
9. Sign me up for nursery duty for a whole quarter!
8. Preacher, I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went overtime 25 minutes.
7. Personally, I find visitation night much
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 27, 2006
based on 3 ratings
| 2,416 views
Biblical Illiteracy: A new Gallup Poll finds fewer than half of youths know that Jesus turned water into wine at the Cana wedding, and nearly two-thirds couldn’t identify a quote from Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount. About one in 10 thought Moses was one of the 12 apostles. Results from a comprehensive
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Contributed by Ed Vasicek on May 8, 2006
Wed Apr 26, 5:16 PM ET
PHILADELPHIA - A man hired a crane to uproot half a dozen newsstands that were not his and move them to street corners where he had sought, but had not received, permits to do business, officials said.
"I believe he knew exactly what he was doing," Robert D. Solvibile,
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Independent/Bible
Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 26, 2007
How to Get the Most Out of Your Bible
In Amazing Grace: A Vocabulary of Faith, Kathleen Norris recounts the story of a South Dakota rancher and his bride who received an expensive Bible as a wedding gift from his grandfather. They wrote a thank-you note and stowed the Bible away on a closet
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Contributed by Jerry Blaxton on Aug 27, 2009
based on 1 rating
| 2,995 views
What does that word ‘sanctified’ mean? It literally means ‘to separate something (from other things).’
When I was growing up, I remember when we were getting dressed to go to church, my mom or my grandmother, depending on where we were, would tell us to put on our ‘Sunday clothes.’ Or if you were
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Baptist
Contributed by Jeff Strite on Sep 26, 2011
MARRIED PEOPLE NEED FRIENDS
The University of Chicago conducted a study where they found that couples that stayed together through adversity had friends who wanted them to stay together and who had a low opinion of divorce. By contrast, married people who spend time with divorced and bitter people
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 8, 2008
based on 2 ratings
| 2,515 views
God wants you to rejoice in your relationship!
*God wants our churches and our marriages to be alive and overflowing with joy. So the Old Testament tells us that the joy of the Lord is our strength; the New Testament tells us to “rejoice in the Lord always.” Then in Proverbs 5 in words too vivid
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based on 7 ratings
| 2,907 views
Humor Illustration: CHRISTIAN FOOTBALL!!
Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.
Draw Play - What many children do with the bulletin during worship.
Half-time - The period between Sunday school and worship when many choose to leave.
Benchwarmer - Those who do
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Joel Vicente on Feb 14, 2005
based on 12 ratings
| 13,770 views
Illustrate Humor: WHAT MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME
My mother taught me RELIGION: When I spilled grape juice on the carpet, she instructed, "You better pray the stain will come out of the carpet."
My mother taught me LOGIC: From her decisive words, "Because I said so, that’s why."
My mother taught me
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Baptist
Contributed by Robert Garrett on May 29, 2005
based on 14 ratings
| 2,557 views
“BUY ME OUT”
A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law.
"I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," he said. "To show you how much we care for you, I’m making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn
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Baptist
Contributed by John Braland on Apr 3, 2007
Here are some of the more humerous tombstone enscriptions found around the globe.
Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York: Born 1903-Died 1942 Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was.
• In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery: Here lies an Atheist All dressed up And
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Jeff Strite on Mar 19, 2002
based on 28 ratings
| 1,890 views
There once was an oyster whose story I tell,
Who found that sand had got under his shell;
Just one little grain, but it gave him much pain,
For oysters have feelings although they’re so plain.
Now, did he berate the working of Fate
Which had led him to such a deplorable state?
Did he curse
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Sheila Crowe on Sep 25, 2002
based on 31 ratings
| 2,236 views
A poem - “You see God” (From twentieth Century Christian) You see God it is like this: We could attend church more faithfully if your day came at some other time. You have chosen a day that comes at the end of a hard week, and we’re all tired out. No only that, but it’s the day following
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United Methodist
Contributed by Jeremy Houck on Feb 26, 2005
based on 16 ratings
| 3,092 views
Dr. Albert Palmer was the minister of Central Union Church of Honolulu, Hawaii. While serving there he oversaw a massive building project for their church. Just before it’s completion, the architect asked Palmer to provide him with an inscription to be placed high in the chancel above the pulpit
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
based on 2 ratings
| 2,401 views
Jesus is the Truth that sets us free, and that freedom comes through knowing Him personally in a one-on-one relationship. There is a tremendous difference in knowing about a person and knowing that person. I know about President Bush and Prince Charles, but I do not have a personal relationship
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Methodist
Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 17, 2006
based on 1 rating
| 1,605 views
A man in Spokane (Mr. Russell) had arranged for the minister from Fourth Memorial church to have his wedding. The day came and the minister didn’t. The minister sent a replacement. The man was upset, and never forgot the incident. 30 years later Carolyn had a garage sale. My mother was there
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Sermon Central