In Sermon Illustrations: "How To Get Stronger"

Drunk Asks Priest About The Cause Of ...

Contributed by Sermon Central on Nov 11, 2009

Drunk Asks Priest About the Cause of Arthritis Sometimes our words can get us into trouble. A man who smelled like a brewery flopped on a seat at a bus stop next to a priest. The man’s shirt was stained, clothes messy, and a half empty bottle of wine was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He ...read more

Scripture: Luke 4:14-30

Tags: Wages Of Sin, Sin Wages Of

Remember Jonah? He Fought The Will Of God. He ...

Contributed by Tim Adams on Dec 1, 2009

Remember Jonah? He fought the will of God. He was miserable in his hometown when he heard the will of God. He ran away to Tarshish and was miserable on the whole trip. When you have to hide in a belly of a ship to get away from the storm you brought upon yourself by disobedience you’re always ...read more

Tags: Jonah

Denomination: Baptist

Funny Prayers

Contributed by John Bright on Feb 2, 2025

I found this collection of funny prayers on-line: • Lord, I ask that you give me the superpower to eat as much pizza as I want without gaining any weight. It would truly be a miracle and make my life complete. Amen. • Lord, I ask that you make all the calories in donuts and ice cream disappear, ...read more

Scripture: 1 Peter 2:5

Tags: Holy Spirit, Food, Prayer, Flesh

Denomination: Methodist

Weaknesses Among The Best

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Feb 11, 2025

A British man named Steve Cleary was in his early 50's, retired from the Royal Navy, and had started a second career. However, he just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. However, he was a good worker, really clever, so the owner was in a quandary ...read more

Scripture: James 3:2, Romans 3:23

Tags: Weaknesses, Perfection, Bad Habits, Flaws, Failings  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Independent/Bible

What God Can Do  PRO

Contributed by Dana Chau on Jan 6, 2003

WHAT GOD CAN DO "When we depend upon organizations, we get what organizations can do; when we depend upon education, we get what education can do; when we depend upon man, we get what man can do; but ...read more

Tags: Prayer Adoration, Prayer General, God's Omnipotence

Denomination: *other

Accountability

Contributed by Thomas Donelan on Aug 4, 2010

He wanted to get out from out of the sphere of his father’s influence. Think about it, every year we get flooded in Florida for about a week or so every year with a bunch of college students for a thing called “spring break” and these kids go out and get drunk, do drugs, get their groove on, and ...read more

Tags: Parable Prodigal Son

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

I Want To Read You A Page From The U.s. ...

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007

I want to read you a page from the U.S. Government Peace Corps Manual for its volunteers who work in the Amazon Jungle. The page I’m going to read concerns what to do in case you’re attacked by an Anaconda. The Anaconda is the largest snake in the world. It grows to 35 feet in length and weighs ...read more

Tags: God In The Hardships

The Key To The Gate

Contributed by Justin Lauramore on Nov 12, 2012

THE KEY TO THE GATE Picture this, you have walked for miles and miles. You are tired and ready for a long nap. You walk up towards a town gate. As you stare at a distance you meet a young man that tells you that the gate is locked. You say ok, well I will test this out for myself. As you continue ...read more

Tags: Faith

Denomination: Assembly Of God

Why Do I Have So Many Toes?

Contributed by James Snyder on Jun 19, 2021

I must confess that I'm not always obvious to everything that is before me. I admit I miss a lot of things set before me. I don’t do this intentionally. For example, sometimes, when I come home from the church office, I pass the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, and she is waving at me, but ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 4:25

Tags: Sight, Ignoring

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

When A Whale Comes To The Surface To Blow, ...  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Sep 4, 2007

When a whale comes to the surface to blow, that’s when it gets harpooned. Whales blow to clear their air passage of water in order to replenish their air supply. Man doesn’t blow to get air; he blows to get attention. So, beware, if we plan to rise to the top in order to blow our ...read more

Ode To The Old Lady In The Mirror  PRO

Contributed by James Kelley on Feb 11, 2002

Ode to the Old Lady in the Mirror A very weird thing has happened. A strange old lady has moved into my house. I have no idea where she came from, or how she got in. I certainly did not invite her. All I know is that one day she wasn’t there, and the next day, she was. She is a clever old lady, ...read more

Tags: Romantic Love

Denomination: Baptist

[288]. A Message From A Poem – The Xxxxxx Public Service

Contributed by Ron Ferguson on Feb 15, 2026

[288]. A MESSAGE FROM A POEM – THE XXXXXX PUBLIC SERVICE Maybe some might think this is a harsh poem but we live now in harsh times and sometimes bluntness is needed to wake up the offenders. I have deliberately omitted the identification from the title, so what is said could apply to just so ...read more

Scripture: 2 Timothy 3:1-4, 2 Timothy 3:12-13

Tags: Arrogance, Manipulators, Bureaucrats, The Public Service, Christian Poems, Government Officials, Civil Service  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Grocery Store Meltdown

Contributed by Eduardo Quintana on Oct 4, 2015

Many times you’ll have no clue what to do. But you still have to pretend you are in control. Like when your three-year old melts down at the grocery store. What do you do? You are wearing a "WWJD" bracelet and still you have no valid answer. You’ve read a ton of parenting books and although many ...read more

Scripture: Malachi 4:6

Tags: Parenting, Fatherhood, Dads

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

If Every Dog Has Its Day I Should Be Barking

Contributed by James Snyder on Nov 2, 2019

Lately, I have been getting behind in my work schedule. Just when I think I am caught up, I discover something I had forgotten about. If only I could forget what I forgot, I would be happy. I am pretty close to being a master at the “O, I simply forgot about that” excuse. Getting away with it ...read more

Scripture: Luke 6:38

Tags: Relationships, Stewartship

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Another Turkey In The Oven

Contributed by James Snyder on Nov 25, 2023

What would Thanksgiving be without a turkey? I read somewhere that over 45 million turkeys are purchased during the Thanksgiving holiday. I’m unsure if that’s correct, but I believe it comes close to the mark. Thanksgiving is always my favorite time because the focus of Thanksgiving is food. ...read more

Scripture: Mark 4:23-24

Tags: Hearing, Turkey, Listening, Thanksgiving

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Ugly Is As Ugly Sees

Contributed by James Snyder on Jan 11, 2025

Dr. James L. Snyder I was drinking a cup of coffee in the middle of the shopping mall. I don’t like going to shopping malls, but The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage sent me to get a new dress shirt for Sundays. I told her I could wear the same one I wore last year, but she has different ideas ...read more

Scripture: 1 Peter 3:3-4

Tags: Beauty, Life

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Soap Isn’t Always Soap

Contributed by James Snyder on May 16, 2026

After several months of mayhem in our house, things began to quiet down. It was beginning to get back to our normal way of life. Of course, because of the mayhem, many things that needed to be done did not get done. That made The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage jump in line to try to catch up ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 27:14

Tags: Helping, Washing

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

The Good Samaritan  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 8, 2002

Luke 10:30-37 John Darley and Daniel Batson are two Princeton University psychologists. Some years ago they decided to conduct a study, inspired by the story of the Good Samaritan. They conducted the study at Princeton Theological Seminary. They met with a group of seminarians and asked each one ...read more

Scripture: Luke 10:30-37

Tags: Compassion, Christian Love

Chuck Mistler Testifies  PRO

Contributed by Izak Shipman on Jun 13, 2002

Chuck Mistler testifies A few years ago, we flew back to California late one Sunday night from a seminar in Washington State. Tired and hungry, we still had to face another one-hour drive home from the airport. Trying to check out of the airport parking lot, we found at least 30 cars in ...read more

Tags: Holiness, Love Of The Disciples

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Silly Signs  PRO

Contributed by Rick Shockley on Jun 29, 2002

SILLY SIGNS • Bargain basement upstairs. • Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken. • After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board. • This is the gate of heaven. ...read more

Tags: Second Coming, Jesus Teachings