Contributed by Donnie Martin on Jul 30, 2007
based on 1 rating
| 1,882 views
“I’m so depressed and I can’t get any dates,” the 300-pound man told his minister. “I’ve tried everything to lose weight.”
“I think I can help,” said the minister. “Be dressed and ready to go tomorrow at 8 a.m.”
Next morning, a beautiful woman in a skintight exercise suit knocked on the man’s door.
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Denomination:
Baptist
based on 4 ratings
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A Baptist was visiting Rome and decided to tour the Vatican while he was there. Standing outside St. Peter’s Basilica, he noticed a long line of people stretching from the courtyard into the church doors. So he asked on of them what the line was for.
A woman in line told him they were waiting to
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Denomination:
Episcopal/Anglican
Contributed by Don Jones on Oct 2, 2007
In my childhood I collected coins. It was my hobby. During WW II copper was a very valuable metal used in the war effort. The U.S. Mint was asked to produce a steel penny so in 1943 they did just that. One day I ran across 3 steel pennies in mint condition. I bought them, went home, and put
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Denomination:
Baptist
Hands on illustration:
Have a timer with on the pulpit – set it for 30 minutes in front of everyone. The lesson from the timer is what motivated Solomon to write the book of Ecclesiastes because time was running out for him and for many others. It made him think about eternity and where he was
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Denomination:
Evangelical/Non-Denominational
B. ILLUSTRATION: I remember growing up going to church… going BOTH Sunday morning & Sunday night.
1. Always wondered, “Why do we have to go Sunday night? I punched my ticket Sunday morning!”
a. How little I understood back then…
b. It’s not about punching a ticket; it’s about giving your
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Timothy Smith on May 3, 2008
SUBMISSION IS A TWO-WAY STREET
Several years ago, while ministering in Florida, I was about to speak in chapel for our Church’s preschool, and my wife was supposed to lead singing. But it was time to start and Deb was on the phone, and I became impatient. So, when I went out to the auditorium, our
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Denomination:
Christian Church
Contributed by Aubrey Vaughan on Jul 10, 2008
based on 5 ratings
| 3,520 views
AWAITING OUR FULL ADOPTION
LAST WEEK I SPOKE ABOUT ROMAN ADOPTION, AND THAT A CHILD WOULD BE TREATED AS HIS OWN CHILD. THIS IS A PICTURE OF WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO US AS SONS/DAUGHTERS OF GOD: WE ARE ADOPTED INTO THE FAMILY OF GOD.
THERE WAS A SECOND ADOPTION PROCESS OFTEN UNDERTAKEN IN ROMAN
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Timothy Darling on Jan 26, 2009
BE A LINE-GUIDE
When they were teaching me to march in the Navy, for a while until they learned that I have eye problems (go figure) they made me a line-guide. A line-guide is in the front corner of the ranks and marches straight, so that everyone else can mark their place off him.
The line-guide
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Denomination:
Mennonite
Contributed by Johnny Wilson on Feb 9, 2009
We recently watched a DVD about prestidigitation. It was called The Prestige and was based on the idea that every illusion has three acts. The first act is "The Pledge" where the magician shows you something very simple and ordinary, though it rarely is. The second act is "The Turn" where something
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Denomination:
*other
Contributed by Davon Huss on Mar 10, 2009
KEEPING THEM UP IN THE AIR
A pet store delivery truck driver was traveling down the road. Every time he came to a stoplight, he would get out of the truck and grab a 2 X 4. Then he’d run to the back and start beating on the truck’s back doors. This went on for several miles, and nobody could
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 8, 2009
based on 1 rating
| 6,042 views
PRAYER AND SPIRITUAL WARFARE
"Life is war. That’s not all it is. But it is always that. Our weakness in prayer is owing largely to our neglect of this truth. Prayer is primarily a wartime walkie-talkie for the mission of the church as it advances against the powers of darkness and unbelief. It is
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Contributed by Sherm Nichols on Apr 27, 2009
CLEAR CONSCIENCE--BUT STILL WRONG
My dad had paid for a membership at Rainbow Falls – a fishing lake about 1 hour into the mountains from our home. About our 2nd visit there, the fish just weren’t biting. That happens at stocked lakes. You could see them – right there in front of you, but they
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Andrew Moffatt on Aug 10, 2009
based on 3 ratings
| 2,403 views
MY MIND WAS ON THE EELS
Today in class we are going to be studying a book called Old Yella, a 1956 novel by Fred Gipson. OK my English teacher may have got my attention for that long, as long as it took to introduce the book. In fact I had to Google who wrote the book and when it was written,
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Denomination:
Salvation Army
Contributed by Todd Catteau on Oct 6, 2009
A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald’s. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them.
Then he
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
Sermon Central