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  • I'm So Depressed And I Can't Get Any Dates," The ...

    Contributed by Donnie Martin on Jul 30, 2007
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,882 views

    “I’m so depressed and I can’t get any dates,” the 300-pound man told his minister. “I’ve tried everything to lose weight.” “I think I can help,” said the minister. “Be dressed and ready to go tomorrow at 8 a.m.” Next morning, a beautiful woman in a skintight exercise suit knocked on the man’s door. ...read more

  • A Baptist Was Visiting Rome And Decided To Tour ...  PRO

    Contributed by Austin Mansfield on Sep 18, 2007
    based on 4 ratings
     | 2,738 views

    A Baptist was visiting Rome and decided to tour the Vatican while he was there. Standing outside St. Peter’s Basilica, he noticed a long line of people stretching from the courtyard into the church doors. So he asked on of them what the line was for. A woman in line told him they were waiting to ...read more

  • In My Childhood I Collected Coins. It Was My ...

    Contributed by Don Jones on Oct 2, 2007
     | 1,711 views

    In my childhood I collected coins. It was my hobby. During WW II copper was a very valuable metal used in the war effort. The U.S. Mint was asked to produce a steel penny so in 1943 they did just that. One day I ran across 3 steel pennies in mint condition. I bought them, went home, and put ...read more

  • Timer: In The Last 30 Minutes…

    Contributed by Michael Mccartney on Oct 17, 2007
     | 732 views

    Hands on illustration: Have a timer with on the pulpit – set it for 30 minutes in front of everyone. The lesson from the timer is what motivated Solomon to write the book of Ecclesiastes because time was running out for him and for many others. It made him think about eternity and where he was ...read more

  • B. Illustration: I Remember Growing Up Going To ...

    Contributed by Philip Cunningham Iii on Dec 29, 2007
     | 1,498 views

    B. ILLUSTRATION: I remember growing up going to church… going BOTH Sunday morning & Sunday night. 1. Always wondered, “Why do we have to go Sunday night? I punched my ticket Sunday morning!” a. How little I understood back then… b. It’s not about punching a ticket; it’s about giving your ...read more

  • Submission Is A Two-Way Street

    Contributed by Timothy Smith on May 3, 2008
     | 4,328 views

    SUBMISSION IS A TWO-WAY STREET Several years ago, while ministering in Florida, I was about to speak in chapel for our Church’s preschool, and my wife was supposed to lead singing. But it was time to start and Deb was on the phone, and I became impatient. So, when I went out to the auditorium, our ...read more

  • Awaiting Our Full Adoption  PRO

    Contributed by Aubrey Vaughan on Jul 10, 2008
    based on 5 ratings
     | 3,520 views

    AWAITING OUR FULL ADOPTION LAST WEEK I SPOKE ABOUT ROMAN ADOPTION, AND THAT A CHILD WOULD BE TREATED AS HIS OWN CHILD. THIS IS A PICTURE OF WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO US AS SONS/DAUGHTERS OF GOD: WE ARE ADOPTED INTO THE FAMILY OF GOD. THERE WAS A SECOND ADOPTION PROCESS OFTEN UNDERTAKEN IN ROMAN ...read more

  • Trials Of Getting ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jul 21, 2008
     | 6,205 views

    TRIALS OF GETTING OLDER Three elderly ladies were discussing the trials of getting older. One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can’t remember if I need to put it away or start making a sandwich." The second lady ...read more

  • God Ain't Dead.

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 28, 2008
     | 2,326 views

    "GOD AIN'T DEAD." James DeLoach tells of a painting of an old burned-out mountain shack. All that remained was the chimney...the charred debris of what had been that family's sole possession. In front of this destroyed home stood an old grandfather-looking man dressed only in his underclothes with ...read more

  • You Didn't Get Him From Here

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 13, 2009
     | 2,074 views

    "YOU DIDN’T GET HIM FROM HERE" One Sunday morning a stranger wandered into a small country church in the middle of the sermon. The man was unkempt and dirty. The usher tried his best to seat him off in a far corner, but instead the man walked to the very first pew and sat directly in front of the ...read more

  • Be A Line-Guide

    Contributed by Timothy Darling on Jan 26, 2009
     | 1,749 views

    BE A LINE-GUIDE When they were teaching me to march in the Navy, for a while until they learned that I have eye problems (go figure) they made me a line-guide. A line-guide is in the front corner of the ranks and marches straight, so that everyone else can mark their place off him. The line-guide ...read more

  • We Recently Watched A Dvd About Prestidigitation. ...

    Contributed by Johnny Wilson on Feb 9, 2009
     | 1,355 views

    We recently watched a DVD about prestidigitation. It was called The Prestige and was based on the idea that every illusion has three acts. The first act is "The Pledge" where the magician shows you something very simple and ordinary, though it rarely is. The second act is "The Turn" where something ...read more

  • Skating, Not Sliding

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 11, 2009
     | 1,895 views

    SKATING, NOT SLIDING I enjoyed a Charles Schultz cartoon that showed Snoopy sliding along the frozen pond on his little bare paws. He’s havin’ a great time. He’s smiling and has his little skullcap on. Lucy walks up and slides out onto the pond with her skates on, and Snoopy doing a little twirl, ...read more

  • Courage V. ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 12, 2009
     | 4,864 views

    COURAGE V. JUDGMENT I heard a story this week about a bull that loved to chew his cud while sitting beneath a shade tree. That particular tree was located just a stone’s throw from a set of railroad tracks. And every time that train came blowing by, it would disturb his afternoon nap and frustrate ...read more

  • Keeping Them Up In The Air

    Contributed by Davon Huss on Mar 10, 2009
     | 912 views

    KEEPING THEM UP IN THE AIR A pet store delivery truck driver was traveling down the road. Every time he came to a stoplight, he would get out of the truck and grab a 2 X 4. Then he’d run to the back and start beating on the truck’s back doors. This went on for several miles, and nobody could ...read more

  • Prayer And Spiritual ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 8, 2009
    based on 1 rating
     | 6,042 views

    PRAYER AND SPIRITUAL WARFARE "Life is war. That’s not all it is. But it is always that. Our weakness in prayer is owing largely to our neglect of this truth. Prayer is primarily a wartime walkie-talkie for the mission of the church as it advances against the powers of darkness and unbelief. It is ...read more

  • Clear Conscience—but Still Wrong

    Contributed by Sherm Nichols on Apr 27, 2009
     | 3,123 views

    CLEAR CONSCIENCE--BUT STILL WRONG My dad had paid for a membership at Rainbow Falls – a fishing lake about 1 hour into the mountains from our home. About our 2nd visit there, the fish just weren’t biting. That happens at stocked lakes. You could see them – right there in front of you, but they ...read more

  • My Mind Was On The Eels  PRO

    Contributed by Andrew Moffatt on Aug 10, 2009
    based on 3 ratings
     | 2,403 views

    MY MIND WAS ON THE EELS Today in class we are going to be studying a book called Old Yella, a 1956 novel by Fred Gipson. OK my English teacher may have got my attention for that long, as long as it took to introduce the book. In fact I had to Google who wrote the book and when it was written, ...read more

  • A Young Man Saw An Elderly Couple Sitting Down To ...

    Contributed by Todd Catteau on Oct 6, 2009
     | 2,828 views

    A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald’s. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then he ...read more

  • Giving Up Is Better Than Ecstasy

    Contributed by Sean Harder on Dec 4, 2009
     | 1,285 views

    GIVING UP IS BETTER THAN ECSTASY Scott Peck writes in his book "The Road Less Traveled: "I spent much of my ninth summer on a bicycle. About a mile from our house the road went down a steep hill and turned sharply at the bottom. Coasting down the hill one morning, I felt my gathering speed to be ...read more

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