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In Sermon Illustrations: "Day Off"

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  • In His Book, "The Necessity Of Prayer," Dr. E. ...

    Contributed by John Quigley on Jan 7, 2005
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,324 views

    In his book, "The Necessity of Prayer," Dr. E. M. Bounds tells a story that had been told to him by a contemporary of his, A. C. Dixon. The story he told is the following: ""A dear friend of mine who was quite a lover of the chase, told me the following story: ’Rising early one morning,’ he said, ...read more

  • Louis L'amour, The Great Western Writer, Wrote A ...

    Contributed by Philip Harrelson on Feb 20, 2005
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,963 views

    Louis L’Amour, the great Western writer, wrote a short story about a man who liked books. The man acts suspiciously as he examined the books on the shelves of a library. He took down one book and then another until he finally found one. It was a leather-bound copy of Shakespeare’s King Lear. He ...read more

  • Super Stupid Easter Jokes  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Mar 22, 2005
    based on 14 ratings
     | 8,557 views

    SUPER STUPID EASTER JOKES Boy 1: "How did you get that bruise on your arm?" Boy 2: "I ate some Easter candy." Boy 1: "Eating Easter candy won’t give you a bruise." 7 Boy 2: "It will if it’s your big brother’s candy!" Q: What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with an overstressed ...read more

  • On May 30, 1896, Motorist Henry Wells Hit ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 8, 2005
    based on 2 ratings
     | 1,933 views

    On May 30, 1896, motorist Henry Wells hit bicyclist Evylyn Thomas on a New York City street. It was America’s first auto accident. Thomas’s injury: a broken leg; car that Wells was driving: a Duryea motor wagon; Well’s penalty: a night in jail; The first automobile fatality: Henry H. Bliss (Sept. ...read more

  • From Niv Application Commentary- Annie Dillard ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on May 8, 2006
    based on 2 ratings
     | 1,880 views

    From NIV Application Commentary- Annie Dillard tells of the ill-fated Franklin expedition to the Arctic in 1845. It was a turning point in Arctic exploration because of its well-publicized failure. The preparations made for the voyage were not suitable for the frigid Arctic. The explorers made room ...read more

  • Sitting On The Side Of The Highway Waiting To ...

    Contributed by Dr. Wheeler Jones on Jun 11, 2006
     | 4,961 views

    Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State police officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there ...read more

  • A Pastor Thought God Gave Him An Idea, And He ...  PRO

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Aug 25, 2006
    based on 24 ratings
     | 5,972 views

    A pastor thought God gave Him an idea, and he presented it in the monthly elders meeting. After giving his most impassioned plea and really “selling” the idea to the elder board, the board voted and voted down the pastors proposed changes 12-1. The head elder looked at the pastor and said, “Well ...read more

  • Jesus Talks About Letting His Words Remain In Us. ...

    Contributed by Rev. Matthew Parker on Sep 24, 2006
     | 1,435 views

    Jesus talks about letting his words remain in us. What does that mean? On occasion I’ve had opportunities to go elsewhere, away from the mission, to churches that were bigger and where there seemed to be more to gain. But whenever those opportunities come up, my dad’s voice has always gone off in ...read more

  • George Barna Notes, "In The 1970's "Seeker ...

    Contributed by Michael Mccartney on Oct 10, 2006
     | 2,112 views

    1. George Barna notes, “In the 1970’s “seeker churches’ made a strong theoretical argument for the importance of encouraging people to feel no obligation to toe a Bible to church. Their goal was to make visitors feel welcome and comfortable by alleviating the need to locate a Bible, by diminishing ...read more

  • When Jesus Does Not Meet Our Expectations We End ...

    Contributed by Don Berry-Graham on Dec 28, 2006
     | 1,914 views

    When Jesus does not meet our expectations we end up going back to what is most important to us. For some of us it is sex. We stop being moral people or we leave our marriages to get as many sexual encounters as we can. Others it is like Judas it is money. God has failed so I will get as much ...read more

  • Collin Thacher Killed His Wife. She Had The ...

    Contributed by Don Berry-Graham on Dec 28, 2006
     | 1,472 views

    Collin Thacher killed his wife. She had the nerve to leave him and he was a man who’s father was the primure of Sask. Collin was addicted to power. So he had her killed. Then he got Jesus because he thought that jesus would get him out of prison after all didn’t Jesus open the prisons for ...read more

  • 5 Ways To Get Rid Of Your Pastor  PRO

    Contributed by Wade Martin Hughes, Sr on Feb 9, 2007
    based on 5 ratings
     | 3,768 views

    5 WAYS TO GET RID OF YOUR PASTOR John R. Rice told of five ways to get rid of your pastor that you might should think about. 1. Sit on the front pew, smile and say AMEN real loud. Your pastor will preach himself to death. 2. Compliment your Pastor often, pat him on the back, brag on how well he ...read more

  • Shackleton Found Them Ready  PRO

    Contributed by Matthew Kratz on Mar 4, 2007
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,465 views

    Shackleton Found Them Ready While on one of his expeditions to the Antarctic, Sir Ernest Shackleton was once compelled to leave some of his men on Elephant Island, with the intention of returning for them and carrying them back to England. But he was unavoidably delayed, and by the time he could go ...read more

  • Best Speeding-Ticket Excuse

    Contributed by Davon Huss on Mar 16, 2009
     | 3,504 views

    BEST SPEEDING-TICKET EXCUSE A convention of Arkansas State troopers was asked to submit the best excuse they’d ever heard for someone trying to get out of a speeding ticket. The winning entry was submitted by a trooper who clocked a semi-tractor truck speeding down the interstate. The trooper ...read more

  • P ...

    Contributed by Donnie Martin on Mar 23, 2009
     | 1,302 views

    Powerless! Dr. Joe McGee sent the following story that might make you watch for the floor sweeper the next time you are in the hospital! “In a hospital’s Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed on Sunday morning at about 11:00 AM. Regardless of their medical condition, death ...read more

  • What He Heard His Wife Say,

    Contributed by Tim Harlow on May 13, 2009
     | 1,902 views

    WHAT HE HEARD HIS WIFE SAY, "You’re way too stupid to be trusted driving alone in bad weather at your age." WHAT SHE ACTUALLY SAID, "Drive carefully, dear." WHAT HE HEARD HIS WIFE SAY, "Honey, why don’t you put your head in a vice and I’ll turn the handle until your skull explodes." WHAT SHE ...read more

  • Soil And Spiritual Seasons  PRO

    Contributed by Mark Eberly on May 19, 2009
    based on 2 ratings
     | 3,567 views

    SOIL AND SPIRITUAL SEASONS Jesus says these people resemble the soil next to the path which in Palestine could look like decent soil but only an inch deep. Because the soil has settled there maybe blown by the wind or pushed there by the run off from the rain, it can be very fertile. People are ...read more

  • Frog Prince

    Contributed by Bradley Kellum on Aug 10, 2009
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,794 views

    FROG PRINCE An 80 year-old woman was walking down the main street in her hometown one evening when she heard a low voice say, "Hey lady." She looked around to see who was talking but upon seeing nobody there she shrugged it all off and continued walking. Before she got another five feet, she ...read more

  • Confusing Messages

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Aug 19, 2009
     | 3,998 views

    CONFUSING MESSAGES PARIS (AFP) – Heart attack survivors who eat chocolate two or more times per week cut their risk of dying from heart disease about threefold compared to those who never touch the stuff, scientists have reported. ...the new study, led by Imre Janszky of the Karolinska Institute ...read more

  • In The Broadway Musical,

    Contributed by Johnny Wilson on Aug 31, 2009
     | 2,658 views

    In the Broadway musical, “Guys and Dolls,” there is a line where Sky Masterton (the Marlon Brando role in the film version) shares some advice that his father gave him. Sky is a gambler and the entire play revolves around a certain bet that he makes which pays off in a way he isn’t expecting. But I ...read more