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In Sermon Illustrations: "Christmas Jokes"

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  • Ten Reasons Why I Never Wash  PRO

    Contributed by Dean Kennedy on Aug 26, 2002
    based on 8 ratings
     | 2,322 views

    "Ten Reasons Why I Never Wash." 1. I was forced to wash as a child. 2. People who wash are hypocrites--they think they’re cleaner than others. 3. There are so many kinds of soap, I could never decide which was right. 4. I used to wash, but it got boring. 5. I wash only on Christmas or Easter. ...read more

  • I Was Taking A Shower When My 2-Year-Old Son Came ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 12, 2003
    based on 6 ratings
     | 2,810 views

    I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots. They came out so well that I had copies made and included one with each of our Christmas cards. Days ...read more

  • David Limbaugh Has Written A Book Called, ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 26, 2007
    based on 5 ratings
     | 1,978 views

    David Limbaugh has written a book called, Persecution: How Liberals Are Waging War Against Christianity, and in it he observed: "It’s one thing for Christophobes to be nervous about Easter and Christmas, given their obvious association with Jesus Christ, but surely holidays like Valentine’s Day ...read more

  • Sometimes The Cup Of Iniquity Is Full And The ...

    Contributed by Bobby Scobey on Apr 3, 2007
     | 2,141 views

    Sometimes the cup of iniquity is full and the people are ripe for judgment. In such a case it may happen as it did in the flourishing and extraordinarily beautiful city of Messina, Sicily, the third largest city in Italy. In the early morning of December 28, 1908, the city was almost entirely ...read more

  • Christian Businessman Fred Smith Reported That ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 1,789 views

    Christian businessman Fred Smith reported that the membership of the Moscow Baptist Church was 5,600, the attendance 6,000, and the participation level almost 100 percent. The Russian Christians are zealous for their faith. The pastor told Mr. Smith, "In Russia, we have no four-wheel Christians." ...read more

  • From Illustrations Unlimited - ...

    Contributed by Michael Mccartney on Aug 24, 2007
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,471 views

    Illustration from Illustrations Unlimited - PEACE, PEACE: A true story: A retired couple was alarmed by the threat of nuclear war so they undertook a serious study of all the inhabited places on the globe. Their goal was to determine where in the world would be the place to be least likely affected ...read more

  • Rico Tice Makes An Interesting Observation In ...

    Contributed by Matthew Kratz on Oct 20, 2007
     | 1,848 views

    Rico Tice makes an interesting observation in his book, Christianity Explored: “I didn’t have a particularly religious upbringing myself. In fact, my experience of Christianity was limited to a few dull sermons, slightly spooky people in strange garments, hanging about in dank halls and religious ...read more

  • Go To Sleep

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 28, 2008
     | 3,477 views

    GO TO SLEEP A mother and her little four-year-old daughter were preparing to retire for the night. The child was afraid of the dark, and the mother, on this occasion alone with the child, felt fearful also. When the light was out, the child caught a glimpse of the moon outside the window. ...read more

  • One Night While Our Church's Children's Choir ...

    Contributed by Dale Perry on Jan 19, 2009
     | 2,375 views

    One night while our church’s Children’s Choir was getting ready to present their Christmas musical, my 3 year old grandson, Dylan, stopped their snack time. He told the choir directer they could not eat yet because they had not prayed. He then proceeded to tell the whole group to stop eating so ...read more

  • Who Would You Quote In Outer ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 11, 2009
     | 3,718 views

    Who Would You Quote in Outer Space? On Christmas Day 1968, the three astronauts of Apollo 8 circled the dark side of the moon and headed for home. Suddenly, over the horizon of the moon rose the blue and white earth, garlanded by the glistening light of the sun against the black void of space. ...read more

  • The Noted Author, John Killinger, Tells A ...

    Contributed by Charles R. Swindoll on Oct 10, 2004
     | 2,562 views

    The noted author, John Killinger, tells a powerful story about a man who is all-alone in a hotel room in Canada. The man is in a state of deep depression. He is so depressed that he can’t even bring himself to go downstairs to the restaurant to eat. He is a powerful man usually the chairman of a ...read more

  • Famous Hoaxes On April Fools Day & Skepticism

    Contributed by David Simpson on Apr 16, 2018
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,933 views

    It’s ironic that this year Easter falls on April Fools day. Have you ever fallen for an April Fools joke or prank? I know as a kid there was always some classmate pulling a prank on someone, with the rest of us in on it and watching that poor soul make a fool of themselves by believing the prank. ...read more

  • How Many Of You Have Seen The Modern-Day ...  PRO

    Contributed by Tony Miano on Apr 29, 2001
    based on 70 ratings
     | 3,112 views

    How many of you have seen the modern-day Christmas classic, “A Christmas Story?” It’s a great movie about one family’s Christmas season and a little boy’s mission to receive the Cadillac of BB guns as a present. The Miano family watches this movie every year. Whenever I see the scene of Ralphie ...read more

  • No Room Giving?

    Contributed by Wade Martin Hughes, Sr on Nov 26, 2022
     | 1,191 views

    NO ROOM… THE SAD STORY CONTINUES… In the early 70’s Linda and I were at my Mom and Dad’s for Christmas. We had no children. My Dad pastored 65 years, 42 in Frankfort, Ky. There were 5 of us children. We had a traditional spot where we all sat around the tree. Mom, my wife and my sister distributed ...read more

  • A Young Girl Who Was Writing A Paper For School ...  PRO

    Contributed by Wayne Major on Aug 9, 2003
    based on 17 ratings
     | 2,685 views

    A young girl who was writing a paper for school came to her father and asked, "Dad, what is the difference between anger and exasperation?" The father replied, "It is mostly a matter of degree. Let me show you what I mean." With that the father went to the telephone and dialed a number at random. ...read more

  • Pastor Ray Stedman Told The Story Of Some ...  PRO

    Contributed by Lynn Malone on Aug 15, 2005
    based on 7 ratings
     | 21,289 views

    Pastor Ray Stedman told the story of some Americans who were stationed in Korea during the Korean War. While there, they rented a home and hired a local boy to cook and clean for them. These Americans were a bunch of jokesters, and they soon began to take advantage of the young boy’s naiveté. ...read more

  • A Redhead Is Walking Through The Countryside, ...  PRO

    Contributed by Ed Sasnett on Oct 17, 2005
    based on 13 ratings
     | 4,272 views

    A redhead is walking through the countryside, when she finds a bottle. She rubs it and, you guessed it, a genie appears. The genie says, “You are allowed three wishes. But, I must warn you, anything you get, all the blondes in the world get twice as much.” The woman agrees, “Okay. Give me a ...read more

  • Retaliate  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
    based on 3 ratings
     | 2,410 views

    Retaliate Pastor Ray Stedman told the story of some Americans who were stationed in Korea during the Korean War. While there, they rented a home and hired a local boy to cook and clean for them. These Americans were a bunch of jokesters, and they soon began to take advantage of the young boy’s ...read more

  • If A Person Sees A House On Fire And Does ...

    Contributed by Ajai Prakash on Mar 18, 2010
     | 2,021 views

    If a person sees a house on fire and does everything he can to rescue the occupants, he is heralded as a hero. And that’s the way it should be. Why is it, then, that a Christian who accepts what God says in the Bible about hell and tries to warn people is ridiculed as an alarmist? We read about a ...read more

  • True Thankfulness: John Wesley

    Contributed by Donnie Martin on Jul 26, 2010
    based on 1 rating
     | 7,777 views

    TRUE THANKFULNESS: JOHN WESLEY John Wesley was about 21 years of age when he went to Oxford University. He came from a Christian home, and he was gifted with a keen mind and good looks. Yet in those days he was a bit snobbish and sarcastic. One night, however, something happened that set in ...read more