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In Sermon Illustrations: "Christmas Jokes" showing 21-40 of 1,691

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  • A Joke On The Management Of Cows Has Been ...  PRO

    Contributed by Victor Yap on Jan 8, 2003
    based on 8 ratings
     | 4,993 views

    A joke on the management of cows has been circulating for many years under the subject “World Economics,?“World Politics,?or “World Ideologies? Communism: You have two cows. The government takes both, milks them, keeps the milk, and gives you a pint. Socialism: The government takes one of your cows ...read more

  • There Is An Old Pizza Delivery Joke That When ...

    Contributed by Mark Eberly on Feb 23, 2009
     | 2,267 views

    There is an old pizza delivery joke that when someone comes into the shop to ask for directions the standard reply is, “You can’t there from here.” When you are loaded down with guilt, and all your emotional baggage, and all the comforts and securities of life that you have earned, then you can’t ...read more

  • Grace & Works Story/Joke

    Contributed by Bruce Blythe on Oct 23, 2021
     | 1,851 views

    Made this one up for my sermon on the whole Book of Romans (Works, Grace & Living). Hope some people find it helpful. Blessings. Bruce A Jew, and an Islamic, and a Christian were drinking coffee. As they sat and talked the conversation turned toward God. The Islamic said, “Now, regular prayer ...read more

  • Mother's Day Joke

    Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Apr 19, 2022
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,282 views

    Several years ago, when fathers were not with the mom for her delivery, a group of expectant fathers were in a waiting room, while their wives were in the process of delivering babies. A nurse came in and announced to one man that his wife had just given birth to twins. "That's quite a ...read more

  • The Work Of Christmas  PRO

    Contributed by Paul Fritz on Dec 25, 2001
    based on 81 ratings
     | 5,335 views

    The Work of Christmas When the song of the angels is stilled, When the star in the sky is gone, When the kings and princes are home, When the shepherds are back with their flock, The work of Christmas begins: To find the lost, To heal the broken, To feed the hungry, To release the ...read more

  • Meaning Of Christmas?  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Nov 24, 2002
    based on 11 ratings
     | 7,211 views

    MEANING OF CHRISTMAS? A television interviewer was walking the streets of Tokyo at Christmas time. Much as in America, Christmas shopping is a big commercial success in Japan. The interviewer stopped one young woman on the sidewalk, and asked, "What is the meaning of Christmas?" Laughing, she ...read more

  • The Perception Of Christmas  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Nov 24, 2002
    based on 5 ratings
     | 5,022 views

    THE PERCEPTION OF CHRISTMAS To perceive Christmas through its wrappings becomes more difficult with every year. SOURCE: E. B. White, The Second Tree ...read more

  • Home For Christmas  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Nov 24, 2002
    based on 21 ratings
     | 6,950 views

    HOME FOR CHRISTMAS In December 1903, after many attempts, the Wright brothers were successful in getting their "flying machine" off the ground. Thrilled, they telegraphed this message to their sister Katherine: "We have actually flown 120 feet. Will be home for Christmas." Katherine hurried to ...read more

  • Christmas Signs  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 10, 2002
    based on 16 ratings
     | 10,199 views

    CHRISTMAS SIGNS - From a toy store: "Ho, ho, ho spoken here." - In a bridal boutique: "Marry Christmas." - Outside a church: "The original Christmas Club." - From a department store: "Big pre-Christmas sale. Come in and mangle with the crowd." - In a Texas jewelry store: "Diamond tiaras: $70,000. ...read more

  • Alone On Christmas  PRO

    Contributed by Bernard Dawson on Dec 14, 2002
    based on 12 ratings
     | 5,436 views

    ALONE ON CHRISTMAS George Mason’s life was centered in his business. He lived alone and refused all invitations to socialize. His brother’s family had urged him to visit but the children always made too much noise. Besides, he didn’t want to buy presents for his nephews and nieces. Instead he ...read more

  • Finally Christmas  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 16, 2002
    based on 16 ratings
     | 4,615 views

    FINALLY CHRISTMAS Senator John McCain of Arizona was a prisoner of war during the Vietnam conflict. He was shot down and held as a prisoner of war in Hanoi for 5 ½ years, 1967-1973, spending much of it in solitary confinement.John McCain said this, “When I was being mistreated by the North ...read more

  • Christmas Signs  PRO

    Contributed by Charles Wilkerson on Dec 8, 2003
    based on 7 ratings
     | 4,476 views

    CHRISTMAS SIGNS - From a toy store: "Ho, ho, ho spoken here." - In a bridal boutique: "Marry Christmas." - Outside a church: "The original Christmas Club." - From a department store: "Big pre-Christmas sale. Come in and mangle with the crowd." - In a Texas jewelry store: "Diamond tiaras: $70,000. ...read more

  • A Christmas Story  PRO

    Contributed by A. Todd Coget on Dec 12, 2003
    based on 6 ratings
     | 5,056 views

    [A Christmas Story, unknown] I remember my first Christmas adventure with Grandma. I was just a kid. I remember tearing across town on my bike to visit her on the day my big sister dropped the bomb: "There is no Santa Claus," she jeered. "Even dummies know that!" (Rejection!) My Grandma was not ...read more

  • Christmas Survey  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 6, 2004
    based on 4 ratings
     | 4,407 views

    CHRISTMAS SURVEY What do people believe about the birth of Christ? A few days ago Newsweek Magazine conducted a poll asking some questions about Christ and His birth.* Here are some of the results: 67% - believe that the entire story of Christmas is historically accurate 24% - believe the story ...read more

  • The Christmas Tree  PRO

    Contributed by Jennifer Mathews on Dec 28, 2004
    based on 2 ratings
     | 6,961 views

    The Christmas tree: It was on a Tree that God hung His greatest gift to humankind. The Christmas tree is symbolic of a broken curse, its evergreen branches representing everlasting life. Our exchange of gifts isn’t a surrender to commercialism, but ...read more

  • Christmas Present  PRO

    Contributed by Michael Mccartney on Dec 16, 2005
    based on 17 ratings
     | 5,229 views

    Christmas Present It was the day after Christmas at a church in San Francisco. Pastor Mike was looking at the nativity scene outside when he noticed the baby Jesus was missing from the figures. Immediately, Pastor Mike turned towards the church to call the police. But as he was about to do so, ...read more

  • Christmas Season  PRO

    Contributed by Steve Smith on Dec 4, 2006
    based on 5 ratings
     | 5,354 views

    ILL: Christmas Season Listen to this parody of the Christmas season that I read this past week: "And there were in the same country children keeping watch over there stockings by the fireplace. And lo! And was said unto them `Fear not, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy that is for ...read more

  • Finally Christmas

    Contributed by Steve Smith on Dec 4, 2006
    based on 1 rating
     | 4,316 views

    ILL: FINALLY CHRISTMAS Senator John McCain of Arizona was a prisoner of war during the Vietnam conflict. He was shot down and held as a prisoner of war in Hanoi for 5 ½ years, 1967-1973, spending much of it in solitary confinement. John McCain said this, “When I was being mistreated by the North ...read more

  • Christmas Pants

    Contributed by Charles Wilkerson on Nov 10, 2009
     | 4,441 views

    CHRISTMAS PANTS I told you about a pair of guys who had exchanged the same pair of moleskin pants for over a decade. Each year they tried to outdo one another with the only rules being they couldn’t damage the pants and they had to use scrap material. I’d left the story with Kunkel having received ...read more

  • The Real Christmas ...

    Contributed by Ross Cochrane on Dec 27, 2009
     | 4,907 views

    The REAL CHRISTMAS ICON in some ways should have been JOHN THE BAPTIST Instead of a RED SUIT we would have people in CAMEL’S HAIR and LEATHER BELTS walking around the shopping centres shouting “PREPARE THE WAY OF THE LORD”, and giving out SAMPLES OF WILD LOCUSTS AND HONEY for people to try. ...read more

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