Contributed by Charles Salmon on Jan 15, 2007
based on 1 rating
| 6,839 views
Sleeping in Church
A Minister, while preaching, noted most of his congregation was asleep. He stopped the sermon and asked a deacon to pass the offering plate. The deacon woke up red-faced and reminded him the offering had already been taken.
His response; “Never mind, take up another one. I
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Melvin Newland on Feb 20, 2001
based on 152 ratings
| 6,337 views
AFTER CHURCH...
There he stood, in the midst of the Golden Corral restaurant, with Thousand Island dressing dripping from his hair, over his glasses, down his face, all over his jacket, pants, & shoes. And I’m not talking about a little bit of Thousand Island dressing, I’m talking about 2 gallons
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Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 10, 2002
based on 75 ratings
| 3,761 views
CHURCH NEVERS
6. Never ask an usher to break a $20.
5. Never do a cannonball in the baptismal tank.
4. Never hold a church business meeting on Super Bowl Sunday.
3. Never tell the pastor, "We love your church and we might even come back next Easter."
2. During youth group activities, never bungee
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Contributed by Tony Searles on Jul 25, 2002
based on 44 ratings
| 4,660 views
10% of church members cannot be found?
20% of church members never attend church
25% admit that they never pray
35% admit that they do not read their Bibles
40% admit that they never contribute to the church?tithe or offering
60% never give to missions
70% never assume responsibility within the
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Other
Contributed by Rob Ross on Apr 9, 2003
based on 35 ratings
| 4,357 views
This Is My Church
It is composed of people just like me.
It will be friendly if I am.
It will do a great work if I work.
It will make generous gifts to many causes if I am generous.
It will bring others into its fellowship if I bring them.
Its seats will be filled if I fill them.
It will be a
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Baptist
Contributed by Keith Davis on May 5, 2003
based on 14 ratings
| 6,019 views
The Perfect Church
I think that I shall never see
A church that’s all it ought to be;
A church that has no empty pews,
Whose preacher never has the blues;
A church whose deacons always “deke”
And none is proud but all are meek;
Where gossips never peddle lies
Or make complaints or
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Troy Borst on May 28, 2003
based on 11 ratings
| 4,061 views
What is the church?
Russ Blowers is a minister who is active in his local Indianapolis Rotary club. At club meetings each week a member gives a brief statement about his job. When it was his turn, Russ said: "I’m with a global enterprise. We have branches in every country in the world. We have
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by James Chandler on Jun 29, 2003
based on 20 ratings
| 3,905 views
The Perfect Church
Mavis Williams
If you should find the perfect church
Without one fault or smear,
For goodness sake!
Don’t join that church;
You’d spoil the atmosphere.
If you should find the perfect church
Where all anxieties cease
Then pass it by, lest joining it
You’d mar the masterpiece.
If
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
based on 2 ratings
| 5,687 views
Church Fights
I’m told that there is a church in Texas that debated over the issue of telling a lie. Some felt that there were some occasions in which a little white lie was acceptable. The others felt that there was never an occasion in which a lie of any kind was acceptable. The discussion got so
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Contributed by Bob Joyce on Sep 17, 2007
based on 5 ratings
| 12,844 views
Church Unity?
I read about a church that split, and that split began over an argument at a potluck supper when a lady brought a congealed salad she made with Cool Whip instead of real whipping cream. There’s a book entitled War In The Pews that talks about real-life instances which are absolutely
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Baptist
Contributed by Bobby Scobey on Oct 31, 2007
based on 2 ratings
| 1,908 views
In his book Comeback Churches, Ed Stetzer said:
Comeback churches cast a compelling vision for outreach. They made intentional, strategic efforts to move outward.
** - The main reason a church does not grow is that it doesn’t want to grow.
Everyone in the church should be engaged in three
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Pentecostal
Contributed by Richard Goble on Nov 2, 2007
A Church Is Not An Audience
A sharp distinction ought to be made between a church and an audience.
· An audience is a group of unrelated people drawn together by a short-lived attraction. A church is a group of born again believers drawn together by a Savior.
· An audience is a crowd. A church is
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Baptist
Contributed by Gene Gregory on Mar 30, 2009
ARTHRITIC CHURCH
Dennis is suffering from Rheumatoid arthritis. Many of you are familiar with the disease. The body attacks itself causing pain, disfigurement, and an inability for the body to function as it should.
My friends, the Bible says that we are the Body of Christ. This church and our
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Baptist
Contributed by Thomas Cash on Jul 7, 2009
TRAMPLED IN THE CHURCH
An African proverb says, "When elephants fight, grass gets trampled." Elephants do not throw their weight around for nothing. The average African elephant weighs 16,534 lbs. The largest elephant on record weighed about 24,000 pounds and was 13 feet tall! Wild elephants eat
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