In Sermon Illustrations: "Proverbs 31:17-32:1"

Cuckoo Birds Live In Cuckoo Clocks, Right?

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Nov 12, 2024

One day they had a contestant o WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE who made it all the way to the last question. Her name was Debra. Debra has made it to the final plateau. If she answered the next question correctly, she would win $1,000,000. If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 17:22

Tags: Clocks, Birds, Pastor's Wives, Sermon Introductions, Pastor Jokes  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

I Am A Southern Baptist And Here Is My Casserole!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Nov 12, 2024

A kindergarten teacher gave her class a “show and tell” assignment of bringing something to represent their religion. The first child got in front of the class and said, “My name is Benjamin, and I am Jewish, and this is the Star of David.” The second child got in front of her class and said, ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 17:22

Tags: Faith, Pastors, Churches, Symbols, Denominations, Religions  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

A Preacher's Kid Brags On His Daddy!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Nov 12, 2024

Bragging Boys Three boys in the schoolyard were bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, “My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he then calls it a poem, they give him $50.00.” The second boy says, “That’s nothing, My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 17:22

Tags: Pride, Bragging, Churches, Fathers, Pastor's Kid, Father's Day Jokes  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Pentecostal Dog

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Nov 12, 2024

Farmer Jones lived in the countryside alone except for his old dog that he had by his side for years. But, unfortunately, his pet died and Farmer Jones went in town to see his pastor about his loss. “Pastor, my dog is dead," he said. "Could you possibly do a funeral service for this old ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 17:22

Tags: Death, Resurrection, Heaven, Humor, Pastors, Churches, Jokes, Dogs, Funerals, Denominations, Pentecostals, Laughs  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

I’m Not Old Just Young Challenged

Contributed by James Snyder on Jan 18, 2025

Most people are fascinated by their age as if it makes any difference in their lives. Some people are very intimidated by getting older and struggle against it. When I was young, I couldn't wait to get older. I couldn't wait until I was old enough to get a driver's license. Why does it ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 20:29

Tags: Youth, Age, Old

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Understanding

Contributed by Larry Grant on Jan 21, 2025

In 1988 at the Democratic National Convention the Reverend Jesse Jackson gave a speech called “Common Ground” in which he challenged us to never give in to demagoguery. He said, Don't you surrender and don't you give up. Don't surrender and don't give up! Why cannot I challenge you ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 4:7

Tags: Ronald Reagan, Martin Luther King, Barack Obama, Jesse Jackson

Denomination: Baptist

Speaking Death Or Life Over Your Marriage?

Contributed by Martin Spoelstra on Feb 6, 2025

Far too many people spend a lot of time speaking death over their marriages. "Psychologists Cliff Notarous of Catholic University and Howard Markman of the University of Denver studied married couples during the first decade of marriage. Among couples who ultimately stayed together, only 5 ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 18:20-22

Tags: Marriage, Words, Putdowns

Denomination: Presbyterian/Reformed

Startled

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Feb 11, 2025

One blogger writes: …my girlfriend took my phone and set the ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream. I found this out when I received a call while driving to work and, thinking someone was being ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 14:16

Tags: Fear, Wisdom, Caution, Startle

Denomination: Independent/Bible

Fear Does Not Mean Cowardice

Contributed by Saumiman Saud on Feb 21, 2025

FEAR DOES NOT MEAN COWARDICE My Father in Heaven, I feel sinful, sometimes I get angry because I'm accused of being a coward. Honestly, I sometimes feel afraid to fight back, but deep in my heart, I want peace and friendship, not conflict and hostility. Forgive me, forgive me, O Lord. In the ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 15:33

Tags: Fear, Cowardice

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Be Careful Who You Accuse

Contributed by John Bright on Apr 6, 2025

Miss Abigale was the one church member sure to stick her nose into everyone’s business. One day, she accused George, a new member and a man of few words. She told him, in front of others, that he must be a drunk because his truck had been seen in front of the town’s only bar. George did not ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 6:16-19

Tags: Revenge, Gossip

Denomination: Methodist

It Was A Snarly Kind Of Day

Contributed by James Snyder on Apr 26, 2025

Last week The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage had another one of her girl days with our daughter and granddaughter. Don’t let this get around, but it is one of my favorite days of the year, including my birthday. It’s a day on which I can do what I want to do. That doesn’t come often; when it ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 14:29

Tags: Wrath, Patience, Reward

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Plan Your Life

Contributed by Christian Cheong on Oct 24, 2008

PLAN YOUR LIFE A famous British writer George Bernard Shaw once visited a sculptor Sir Jacob Epstein at his studio. The visitor noticed a huge block of stone standing in one corner and asked what it was for. "I don’t know yet. I’m still making plans." Shaw was astounded. "You mean you plan your ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 3:5-6

Tags: Plan, Preparation, Life Purpose

Denomination: Independent/Bible

Bearing Fruit  PRO

Contributed by Chris Jordan on Oct 24, 2008

BEARING FRUIT I once read of a little boy who used to escape his bedroom after being punished. He would crawl out of his bedroom window down an old fruit tree to the ground. One day, his father told him that he was going to chop down the fruit tree, because it hadn’t borne any fruit for a number ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 10:1-36

Tags: Fruit, Fruit Of The Spirit

Denomination: *other

Silly ...

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 13, 2009

SILLY LAWSUITS Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 6:16-19

Tags: Christian Values

As A Teenager I Spent Two Years Living In Butte, ...

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 28, 2009

As a teenager I spent two years living in Butte, Montana. Butte is nestled high in the Rocky Mountains in a small valley which rests directly in the shadow of the great continental divide; a massive mountain range which stretches from New Mexico through Colorado -- where its highest peaks reside -- ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 12:15

Tags: Pride

Hendrick's List

Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 10, 2009

HENDRICK’S LIST HOWARD HENDRICKS was popular seminary professor for many years. Many young men were taught by him over the years. Hendricks keeps a little black book with him wherever he goes. He writes in there the names of men whom he taught in seminary classes who have fallen out of the ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 16:18

Tags: Arrogance

Gossip: What Will They ...

Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 13, 2009

GOSSIP: WHAT WILL THEY SAY? Three elderly men were talking about what their grandchildren would be saying about them fifty years from now. The first one said, "I would like my grandchildren to say, ’He was a hard worker." The second one said, "50 years from now, I want them to say, ’He was a ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 18:8

Tags: Christian Values

Women ...

Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 13, 2009

WOMEN CEOs Nearly 10.4 million U.S. firms are owned (50% or more) by women, employing more than 12.8 million people, and generating $1.9 trillion in sales. Their firms have continued to grow at nearly double the rate of all firms (42% vs. 24%). Women-owned firms, account for 41% of all privately ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 31:1-31

Tags: Women

Almost 1 In 16 Children Ages 5-12 In America Was ...

Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 13, 2009

Almost 1 in 16 children ages 5-12 in America was enrolled in a Southern Baptist VBS in ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 22:6

Tags: Children

65% Of The Builder Generation (Born 1927-1945) ...

Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 13, 2009

65% of the Builder generation (born 1927-1945) are evangelical ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 16:31

Tags: Church Body Of Christ