Speaking Death Or Life Over Your Marriage?

Far too many people spend a lot of time speaking death over their marriages.

"Psychologists Cliff Notarous of Catholic University and Howard Markman of the University of Denver studied married couples during the first decade of marriage. Among couples who ultimately stayed together, only 5 out of every 100 comments made about each other were putdowns. But among couples who later split up, 10 of every 100 (twice as many) comments or insults. That gap magnified over the following decade until couples heading downhill were flinging 5 times as many cruel and belligerent comments at each other as happy couples.

In their book based upon that research, no Terrace and Markham wrote, “Hostile putdowns act as a cancerous cell that, if unchecked, erode the relationship over time. In the end, relentless unremitting negativity takes control, and the couple can’t get through a week without a major blow up.”

( The Power of Your Words: How God Can Bless Your Life Through The Words You Speak. By Robert Morris, Bethany House Publishers, 2006. Pg. 29)

It’s interesting to note that it’s a sobering thought that the single most reliable predictor of success or failure in marriage was not how much affection a couple displayed, not how many common interests they had, or what kind of economic background they came from. It was the kind of words they spoke to each other!