It's The Man's Job! Everybody Knows That.

Luke 10:19

19 Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you.

I was so excited when I discovered Luke 10:19 because I realized this means I have power over June bugs!!

Y'all know what a june bug is right?

in Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas and Louisiana - all the places I have lived, there are June bugs – big round bugs that make a loud buzzing sound as they fly around your porch light and try to get into your house.

I am terrified of June bugs because they have scratchy legs and they make this horrible buzzing sound that makes me shake in my boots. I know they can't hurt me but that don't matter because if one gets tangled in my hair I turn into a screaming maniac with 8 flailing arms and I will hurt MYSELF.

There was a time when I was married and my husband & I lived out in the country between Princeton and McKinney, Texas. There was no trash pickup there, so we had to burn our trash.

So one evening in the heat of summer, when dinner was over, I cleaned the kitchen and took my trash out to the barrel at the back of our yard and set it on fire. Then, as I was walking back up the hill to the house, a June bug flew down my shirt. I was wearing short overalls and a tank top. I began screaming my brains out and flailing around like a mad woman.

My husband heard my screaming and ran out the house terrified – he told me later he thought I was on fire instead of the trash – THAT’S how bad I was screaming. Seeing no flames, he ran up to me in a panic since he has never heard me scream like that.

“What's wrong? What's wrong?

And I am hysterical, screaming incoherently because that vicious June bug was buzzing and I can’t stand that buzzing sound and those horrible scratchy legs – I was actually about to start tearing my clothes off in the backyard because I am that scared of June bugs. I was literally hysterical and he's asking “What's wrong? What’s wrong?”

And I finally managed to yell that a June bug flew down my shirt! Help me!! DO something!!! And I’m flailing my arms around and doing the OMGosh there’s a June Bug On Me Dance trying to shake it loose when I catch a glimpse of him. I’m fighting for my 21 year-old life with everything in me and …

WHY ISN’T HE HELPING ME??? THIS JUNE BUG IS GOING TO KILL ME !! WHY ISN’T MY HUSBAND SAVING ME FROM IT????

And there is my big strong, able bodied husband who is FEARLESS around June bugs … doubled over with tears streaming down his face LAUGHING !! He is laughing SO HARD he is wheezing because he cannot even get his breath!!

And I screamed at him WHY AREN’T YOU HELPING ME – DO SOMETHING!!! I am absolutely terrified and literally – I am NOT kidding, I still remember this over 40 years later because it was the ONLY time a June bug ever violated me in that way And I was like HELP ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!

By this time my husband is laughing so hard I’m thinking HE may have to go to the hospital before ME because now he can’t even get air in …. LOLOLOL

I’m getting ready to strip down in the back yard if I can stop swatting the air long enough trying to stop that awful buzzing sound and I’m screaming and glaring at him at the same time because he isn’t saving me and EVERYBODY KNOWS IT’S THE MAN’S JOB TO KILL THE BUGS IN A MARRIAGE. EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT.

The terrified June bug finally found its way out of my top about that time and I was free to live another day and I didn't have to tear my clothes off in broad daylight to free myself but my husband was still doubled over laughing and I said you were NO HELP !!!! and I stomped off into the house … I mean he did not help me AT ALL!

He should have helped me as my husband he should have defended me against that June bug !! Everybody KNOWs men are in charge of all bug killing in a marriage. Everybody knows that.