Sermon Central
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Basketball Theology
Contributed by John Bright on Jan 18, 2026 (message contributor)
Basketball theology
Center/forward — Where nobody
usually sits on Sunday mornings.
Free throw — A toddler's toss of
toys.
Timeout A sermon gone too
long.
On the bench — The organist (pia-
nist).
Three-point play The structure
of any good sermon.
Offensive foul — A newly discov-
ered baby's messy diaper.
Ejection — Taking an inconsolable
child out to the nursery.
Pre-game warmups — The lighting
of the altar candles.
Traveling — Parents walking back
and forth with upset children in the
back of the church.
Transition game — Movement of
people from Sunday School to wor-
ship.
Turnover — Exchange of an upset
infant between parents. (Also
known as the chest pass.)
Opening tip — Suggestion of a
short sermon due to the roast in the
oven.
Change of possession — The offer-
ing.
Fast break — Children coming
down for the children's sermon.
(Sometimes used to describe the
children's movement to the hospi-
tality snacks after worship.)
Slam-dunk — Shorter than usual
sermon.
20-second timeout — A brief exit
to the restrooms.
Rebound — Inspiring special mu-
sic following a boring sermon.
Originally from Pastor Kenneth
Pollitz, of New Creation Luthe-
ran Church, Ottawa, OH, a former
high school and college basketball
player.
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