Sermon Illustrations

Basketball theology

Center/forward — Where nobody

usually sits on Sunday mornings.

Free throw — A toddler's toss of

toys.

Timeout A sermon gone too

long.

On the bench — The organist (pia-

nist).

Three-point play The structure

of any good sermon.

Offensive foul — A newly discov-

ered baby's messy diaper.

Ejection — Taking an inconsolable

child out to the nursery.

Pre-game warmups — The lighting

of the altar candles.

Traveling — Parents walking back

and forth with upset children in the

back of the church.

Transition game — Movement of

people from Sunday School to wor-

ship.

Turnover — Exchange of an upset

infant between parents. (Also

known as the chest pass.)

Opening tip — Suggestion of a

short sermon due to the roast in the

oven.

Change of possession — The offer-

ing.

Fast break — Children coming

down for the children's sermon.

(Sometimes used to describe the

children's movement to the hospi-

tality snacks after worship.)

Slam-dunk — Shorter than usual

sermon.

20-second timeout — A brief exit

to the restrooms.

Rebound — Inspiring special mu-

sic following a boring sermon.

Originally from Pastor Kenneth

Pollitz, of New Creation Luthe-

ran Church, Ottawa, OH, a former

high school and college basketball

player.

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