Contributed by Jimmy Haile on Oct 22, 2011
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PAINT ME WITH DIAMONDS
A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond rings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex."
"But you are not wearing any of those things," he replied.
"I know," she said. "It's in case I should
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Baptist
Contributed by Mark Stepherson on Oct 22, 2011
FASTING BEFORE THE GREAT AWAKENING
Jonathan Edwards was a man used by God in the First Great Awakening. I have read that he preached in a weak, squeaking, monotone voice and held his tiny manuscript so close to his face that people could not see his expressions. When he preached, "Sinners in the
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Baptist
Contributed by Gordon Curley on Oct 21, 2011
THE SERMON ON FAMILY
A young minister, with very small children, preached to his congregation on the theme, "10 ways to raise good and godly children."
Some years later, with his children entering their teens, he returned to his theme, but the same sermon was entitled:
"10 suggestions for
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Brethren
Contributed by Curry Pikkaart on Oct 20, 2011
THEY GET AN "A," YOU GET AN "A," WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?
On the first day of class the professor says, "I have this very complicated Math problem, the solution of which shall constitute your grade for the entire semester. I'm giving you the problem now so you can start working immediately if you
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Presbyterian/Reformed
Contributed by Derrick Tuper on Oct 20, 2011
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THE DEFINITION OF A SAINT
A young boy went with his parents touring around Europe one summer. Part of their tour included visits to the great old cathedrals of the past. As he visited cathedral after cathedral, he was impressed by the massive stained glass portraits of the disciples and other
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Brad Henry on Oct 19, 2011
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HOLY SPIRIT: THE FORGOTTEN GOD
ALL the ruthless Ninevites from the commoner to the King of Assyria repented and God did not send destruction. But why did these ruthless people listen to Jonah who was just one man? I have been struggling with this very question and asked God to help me speak to you
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Contributed by Perry Greene on Oct 18, 2011
WE WORSHIP WHAT WE ARE BECOMING
"THE GODS we worship write their names on our faces, be sure of that. And a man will worship something--have no doubt about that, either. He may think that his tribute is paid in secret in the dark recesses of his heart, but it will out. That which dominates will
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by David Tack on Oct 17, 2011
THE AMAZING HEART
"The human heart: The human heart is a hard-working marvel. It can keep on beating automatically even if all other nerves were severed. In a 70-year lifetime, it will beat an average of 75 times a minute, forty million times a year-or two and a half billion times. At each beat
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Baptist
Contributed by Donnie Martin on Oct 17, 2011
YOU CAN'T TURN OFF TIME
James W. Moore says, "One of the greatest comedy acts in the history of show business was the beloved husband and wife team of George Burns and Gracie Allen. In real life, Gracie Allen was a bright, wise businesswoman, but she always played the part of a naive, off-the-wall
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Baptist
Contributed by Timothy Enns on Oct 17, 2011
SHEPHERDS: THE LOWER CLASS
For many years I drove truck, hauling produce from California to Canada. I would often cut across the back roads of Idaho instead of staying on the busy interstate. The area I would travel trough on the back roads would take me through deserts and volcanoes, but it would
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Nazarene
Contributed by Perry Greene on Oct 17, 2011
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WORSHIP IS MORE THAN EXPERIENCE
There was a woman who went on a short term missions trip to Kenya, helping the missionaries there. Before she left, she stopped at a remote village where she attended a medical clinic. As the native women outside the clinic began to sing together, she found herself
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Davon Huss on Oct 17, 2011
PRIDE AND DIRTY LAUNDRY
A woman looked out of her window every morning and commented on the dirty laundry on her neighbor's line. One day she noticed it was sparkling clean.
"Maybe she's using a new detergent,"
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Davon Huss on Oct 17, 2011
THE GRACE GATE
An active, dedicated, hard-working church member dreamed that he passed away after a long and satisfying life. As he approached the heavenly gate, he noticed a sign posted which read, "ENTRANCE REQUIREMENT: 1,000 POINTS."
The man looked a bit worried. He walked up to the
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Jeff Strite on Oct 17, 2011
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THE GATES WILL NOT PREVAIL
Jesus said: "Upon this rock (of Peter's testimony that Jesus was the Christ, the Son of the Living God) I will build my church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it" Matthew 16:18
Now the odd thing about Jesus' statement was this: Gates don't attack.
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Gordon Curley on Oct 17, 2011
ASKING GOOD QUESTIONS
A friend once asked Isidor I. Rabi, a Nobel prize winner in science how he became a scientist. Rabi replied that every day after school his mother would talk to him about his school day. She wasn’t so much interested in what he had learned that day, but she always inquired,
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Brethren
Contributed by Scott Spencer on Oct 16, 2011
THE CROQUET LESSON
Some missionaries in the Philippines set up a croquet game in their front yard. Several of their Agta Negrito neighbors became interested and wanted to join the fun. The missionaries explained the game and started them out, each with a mallet and ball.
As the game progressed,
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Calvary Chapel
THE ANGLICAN DOG
A man came to an Anglican Church and asked to see the Vicar.
"Vicar," he said, "My dog died and I would like a Christian burial for him."
The Vicar said, "I'm sorry to hear about your dog, but we Anglicans don't do funerals for dogs. You might try the Baptist church down the
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Anglican
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