In Sermon Illustrations: showing 1,381-1,400 of 52,519

Our Professor Has No Brain!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Feb 13, 2022

A college student was in a philosophy class, which had a discussion about God's existence. The professor presented the following logic: "Has anyone in this class heard God?" Nobody spoke. "Has anyone in this class touched God?" Again, nobody spoke. "Has anyone in ...read more

Tags: Science, God, Atheists, Bible, Genesis, Evolution, Apologetics  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Adam & Eve's First Argument

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Feb 13, 2022

When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. "You're running around with other women," she charged. "You're being unreasonable," Adam responded. "You're the only woman on earth." The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to ...read more

Tags: Marriage, Adam, Suspicious, Jokes, Arguments, Eve  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

How To Raise A Juvenile Delinquent

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Feb 13, 2022

Years ago, the Sheriff's office in a Texas city distributed a list of rules titled, "How To Raise A Juvenile Delinquent In Your Own Family." Rule One: Begin with infancy to give the child everything he wants. This will insure his believing that the world owes him a living. Rule Two: ...read more

Tags: Home, Discipline, Children, Parents, Family  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

How Do You Recognize An Idol In Your Life?

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Feb 13, 2022

Jacob was told to lay down his idols and come back home to Bethel to serve God. Is there an idol in your life that you need to forsake. How do you know if something is an idol in your life? Here are 3 ways we can we identify or recognize the idols in our lives: 1. The feeling of: If I have ...read more

Tags: Idols, Revival, Repent, Idolatry

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Good News, Bad News Laughs

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Feb 13, 2022

Good News: You baptised seven people today in the river.Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current. Good News: The women's group voted to send you a get-well card.Bad News: The vote passed by 31-30. Good News: The trustees finally voted to add more church parking. Bad News: They are ...read more

Tags: Jokes, Sermons, Sermon Introductions, Humor, Pastors, Churches  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Why Doesn't God Answer?

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Feb 13, 2022

The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her preacher father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day she asked him why. The Pastor was so proud that his daughter was so observant of his mesages. He smiled and answered, "Well, honey, ...read more

Tags: Jokes, Fathers, Sermons, Preachers, Children, Prayer, Pastors  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

You Are Full Of Baloney!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Feb 13, 2022

DO YOU WANT TO HEAR A REALLY BAD DAD JOKE????? It was a nice summer day when 2 flies came upon a picnic lunch. Finding only baloney, they promptly ate their fill. The flies then flew to a nearby well for a drink, then they sat on the pump handle to rest and talk. After a few minutes, one said he ...read more

Tags: Puns, Jokes

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

God Can't Take His Eyes Off Of Me!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Feb 13, 2022

There were 2 boys playing one day when they got bored. Little Johnny turned to his buddy, Billy, and said, "You know something, I'm bored. Let's go to the store and steal some candy!" Billy says: "Oh no! I can't do that! God is watching me!“ Little Johnny replies: ...read more

Tags: God's Love, Dishonesty, Heavenly Father, God's Providence, Children  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Daddy, Is God Dead?

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Feb 13, 2022

A little girl looked up at her daddy while sitting on his lap and asked, "Daddy, I need to ask you something. Is God dead?" The father said, "Honey, why in the world are you asking me such a ridiculous question! What would make you ask me such a question?" His daughter ...read more

Tags: Fathers, Children, Family, Prayer, Revival, Mothers, Home  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Wherever They Are I Will Find Them

Contributed by James Snyder on Feb 12, 2022

Recently, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and her spouse took a short vacation that was long overdue. Vacations are very hard to organize and schedule when you have a busy life. But, thanks to the ingenuity of my wife, we were able to plan out a vacation. The motel we stay in is owned by ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 18:22

Tags: Thriftstore, Bargin

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Driven By Hurt

Contributed by Wade Martin Hughes, Sr on Feb 11, 2022

DRIVEN BY HURT! MIGHT I ADD A PREACHER’S PERSPECTIVE TO START THIS LESSON? BE KIND TO EVERY PERSON. PERHAPS YOU DO NOT KNOW THE PROBLEMS AND THE BATTLES OTHERS ARE FACING. A preacher friend of mine was having some self-doubts and fears he was facing. There was a rather large family that had ...read more

Scripture: Isaiah 61:3, 1 Peter 5:7

Tags: Bitter, Hurt, Ministry

Denomination: Assembly Of God

Never Quit Growing

Contributed by Wade Martin Hughes, Sr on Feb 9, 2022

GROWTH IS ESSENTIAL OR ONE WILL GET STAGNATE AND BEGIN A DECREASE. Growth is essential to long term survival. We must learn to take advantage of opportunities and take risk. GROWTH: improve, increase, develop, mature, progressive development, MATURITY, AGE, SIZE, WEIGHT, HEIGHT. 2 Peter 3:18 ...read more

Scripture: 2 Peter 3:18, Philippians 1:9

Tags: Plan, Growth

Denomination: Assembly Of God

Limited Vision

Contributed by Wade Martin Hughes, Sr on Feb 7, 2022

I once read a lesson about this man, Simeon, he was a shepherd that lived in 390 A.D. He saw how corrupt the world had become. So he decided to LIVE ABOVE ALL THE EVIL and CORRUPTION. So he built a 6 feet tall pillar to be above the evil world. He built a little area and he lived on this ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 29:18, Joel 2:28

Tags: Vision, Dream

Denomination: Assembly Of God

Honesty

Contributed by Dr. Fred W. Penney on Feb 7, 2022

Blaise Pascal observed that human life is nothing but perpetual delusion; human relationships are based on mutual deception. Martin Buber wrote of the uncanny game of hide and seek we play - in which the soul seeks to hide from itself. Thomas Merton - our minds are deformed with a contempt for ...read more

Scripture: Exodus 20:16, Ephesians 4:15, Matthew 5:33-37

Tags: Deception, Truth, Integrity, Misinformation

Denomination: Pentecostal

Sing On: Emperor Penguins

Contributed by Wade Martin Hughes, Sr on Feb 4, 2022

LET US STUDY BRIEFLY THE EMPEROR PENGUINS… If you ever study the EMPEROR PENGUIN LIFE JOURNEY you will understand how important SINGING is to them. EMPEROR PENGUINS LOVE TO SING. When the emperor penguins are courting the male and the female BOW and SING to each other. The female sings a ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 137:1-4, Job 35:10

Tags: Praise, Sing

Denomination: Assembly Of God

Help!

Contributed by Dr. Fred W. Penney on Feb 3, 2022

God, if you get me out of this mess I promise you'll never ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 6:5-15, Luke 11:1-13, Ephesians 3:14-21

Tags: Answers To Prayer, Faith, God, Salvation, Prayer, Miracles  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Pentecostal

Naming Our Children

Contributed by Dr. Fred W. Penney on Feb 2, 2022

At some point we stopped worrying about whether we were sinful or whether it was possible to be righteous and instead sought to avoid being unhealthy and to be healthy... we stopped naming our children “Charity” or “Grace” and began ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 22:6, Ephesians 6:1-4

Tags: Gospel, Identity, The Cross, Names, Children, Sin, Family, Salvation  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Pentecostal

The Book Of Daniel Is About Teenagers.

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Feb 1, 2022

HOW MANY MISS THE POINT THAT THESE ARE TEENAGERS! The Book of Daniel is about a young man and his teenage friends who grew up in a time when his country, Judah, southern tribes of Israel, was judged by God for their idolatry. God allowed the most ungodly leader and nation in the world, King ...read more

Tags: Mothers, Fasting, Fathers, Teenagers, Daniel, Family, Prayer, Revival  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Book Of Re-Evaluation!!!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Feb 1, 2022

Charles Schulz consistently provided helpful and humorous insights through his Peanuts comic strip. In one run he showed Charlie Brown's sister, Sally, struggling with her memory verse for Sunday. She was lost in her thoughts trying to figure it out when she recalled, "Maybe it was ...read more

Tags: Repentance, Evaluation, Seven Churches, Church, Revival  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Impact A Godly Father Makes On The Life Of A Child

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 31, 2022

Steven Lawson has written a book called The Legacy- Ten Core Values Every Father Must Leave His Child. In the book there is a study that is performed contrasting a couple who are not Christian and a couple who are Christian and their descendants. What they did was take a guy by the name of Max ...read more

Tags: Children, Legacy, Fathers, Christian Homes, Core Values For Children  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational