Sermons on Dirty Jokes:

The Baptism Of The Lord

Contributed by Paul Humphrey on Jan 8, 2006

Jesus’ baptism was a declaration of what he was about to do. At the time of his baptism, his eyes were already fixed upon the cross, that we might have cleansing and new birth.

Baptism of the Lord 2006 Dr. Paul G. Humphrey For audio version go to http://www.forministry.com/USTNUMETCVFUMC/Sermon.dsp?sermonsite_action=view_sermon&sermonsite_sermonid=9246 Mark 1:4-11 1:4 John did baptize in the wilderness, and preach the baptism of repentance for the remission of ...read more

Scripture: Mark 1:4-11

Denomination: United Methodist

Servant Leadership Series- Intro: The Greatest Servant Leader Series

Contributed by Dr. Madana Kumar, Phd on Apr 28, 2009

Jesus modeled the greatest Servant Leadership Attributes while on earth. This is usually ignored by today’s Christian Leaders and Churches

Servant Leadership Series Intro: The Greatest Servant Leader Do we need leaders in the Church. Let us take a look at this short video. ( I have used the video “Ronnie” from Floodgate Productions (http://www.floodgateproductions.com/v2/)) Have you seen any Ronnies in the Churches of today? Have ...read more

Scripture: John 13:3-17

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Attitudes

Contributed by Leighton (Lee) Vary on Nov 10, 2015

As a Thanksgiving message, this is a look at attitudes

Introduction One lady writes, I tell you, men drivers are a hazard to traffic. Driving to work this morning on Highway 11 from Albert Street, I looked over to my left and there's this man in a Mustang doing 95 miles per hour with his face up next to his rear view mirror.... shaving!!! I looked ...read more

Scripture: 2 Corinthians 4:15

Denomination: Baptist

Studies In Genesis: Chapter 35 Series

Contributed by Edward Hardee on Oct 17, 2011

This is a study of the book of Genesis. Genesis and Revelation are two of the most disputed books in the Bible. The premise of this study is the foundation of creation.

Note: When doing a study on a book in the Bible you use a lot of resources. The major influence for me on this study of Genesis is The Genesis Record by Henry Morris. We have seen what I call a roller coast effect in the life of Jacob. If we were to chart it on the board it would look like ...read more

Scripture: Genesis 35:1-29

Denomination: Church Of God

A Mother's Faithfulness (Mother's Day)

Contributed by Chris Surber on May 9, 2008

Today, Let us learn from the faithfulness of the women in Moses early life and the faithfulness of the women in our lives even as we celebrate them today.

A Mother’s Faithfulness, Exodus 1:15-2:8 Introduction Ian MacLaren, that great preacher of the Word of God, once visited a home and found an old Scotch woman standing in her kitchen, weeping. She wiped her eyes with the corner of her apron, and when the minister asked her what was the matter, she ...read more

Denomination: Christian Church

Hearing The Voice Of God

Contributed by John Gaston on May 13, 2020

We live in a time when we need to hear the voice of God and be led by the Spirit! God knows the location of the germs and can warn us. We don’t need to let fear rule us. “The safest place in all the world is in the will of God.”

HEARING THE VOICE OF GOD John 10:27 INTRODUCTION A. HUMOR 1. “Stay at Home” orders aren’t really all that new. I heard about one man, long before Coronavirus came along, who was tired of living with his wife. 2. There seemed to be no way he could get away from her verbal harangues; she was ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 25:14, John 10:27

Denomination: Assembly Of God

American Idols July 4 Sermon

Contributed by Dr. Odell Belger on Apr 6, 2022

America has become the land of idolatry. But before I make that claim, I need to make sure that I have the right definition of idolatry.

Illus: Dr. Billy Graham says, "We usually think of an idol as a religious figure carved of wood or stone, perhaps in some primitive tribe far removed from civilization. But we have our "idols" today, because an idol is anything that you worship in place of the living God. Some ...read more

Scripture: 1 Kings 18:36-37

Denomination: Baptist

So This Is Sin Too?

Contributed by Roger Hasselquist on Jun 28, 2022

It says that “whatever is not from faith is sin.” So even that is sin??? So if we are doing something just to go along, even though we are convinced it is wrong, we are sinning? That is what it says.

Alba 6-26-2022 SO THIS IS SIN TOO? Romans 14:22-23 A man went to see a psychiatrist and told him, "I’ve been doing some bad things, Doc, and my conscience is troubling me." The psychiatrist thought about that and then said: "And you want something that will strengthen your will ...read more

Scripture: Romans 14:22-23

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

I Pledge Allegiance To… (July 4th Sermon)

Contributed by Dr. Odell Belger on Jun 30, 2022

We live in a land of “creature worshippers”.

For example... Illus: A seventeen-year-old girl made Elvis Presley not just an entertainer, or a mortal. She made him an idol and she literally worshipped him. It is a matter of record that she has seen his movie: • “LOVE ME TENDER” 107 times. • “LOVING YOU” 110 times. • “KING CREOLE” 91 ...read more

Scripture: 1 Kings 18:36-37

Denomination: Baptist

A Soiled Faith

Contributed by D. Dewaine Phillips on Mar 6, 2022

Jeremiah's prophecy of the sash. The effort put forth in holding up one’s clothes represents a willingness to labor for the Lord, and letting ones clothes drag along the ground is symbolic of laziness and a lack of zeal for God's work.

In days of old, ladies who wore long dresses would lift them up past their ankles when they were walking near a mud puddle or climbing up some stairs. One reason why they did this was so they would not trip and fall; but another reason was to keep their clothing nice and clean. In order to keep ...read more

Scripture: Jeremiah 13:1-11

Denomination: Baptist

God Is A Waymaker

Contributed by John Gaston on Jul 17, 2021

GOD WILL MAKE A WAY, WHERE THERE SEEMS TO BE NO WAY! We’re going to look at how ‘God will make a Way’ for Broken-Hearted People, for people facing severe Temptations, and for those with Impossible Needs!

GOD IS A WAYMAKER God Makes a Way Where There Seems To Be No Way Isa. 43:16-21 INTRODUCTION A. HUMOR: Prison Breaks 1. I heard that two prisoners escaped from Ellis 2 prison. One is seven feet tall and one is four feet six. The police are looking high and low for them. 2. Why did all the ...read more

Scripture: Isaiah 43:16-21

Denomination: Assembly Of God

"If You Have Heard Him" Series

Contributed by Clark Tanner on Jul 27, 2003

We need a renewed mind to see ourselves as newly created in the likeness of God, then put on the new man daily. (# 18 in the Unfathomable Love of Christ series)

“But you did not learn Christ in this way, if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught in Him, just as truth is in Jesus, that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 4:20-24

Denomination: Orthodox

Love Is Sacrificial

Contributed by Joel Pankow on Aug 25, 2005

When Jesus asks, "do you love me," it fills us with repentance and an eagerness to show our Lord that we do love him. Peter was forgiven and given a new opportunity to feed Jesus sheep. Who are your sheep? How can you respond?

August 28, 2005 Proclaim Peace Through Jesus - in Love - based on John 21:15-19 After Jesus rose from the dead he asked Peter three simple questions - “do you love me?” When Peter answered with a resounding “yes,” Jesus then replied, “feed my sheep.” Although this reinstatement to ministry ...read more

Scripture: John 21:15-19

Denomination: Lutheran

"A Better Understanding" Series

Contributed by Rob Petersen on Jul 1, 2009

God’s Word exposes us for who we are; but we have an advocate in Jesus who understands us and offers us empowering grace.

DOMINANT THOUGHT: God’s Word exposes us for who we are; but we have an advocate in Jesus who understands us and offers us empowering grace. PURPOSE: - Head: The people will understand that God’s Word gives us a better understanding of who we are. - Head: The people will understand that Jesus’ ...read more

Scripture: Hebrews 4:12-16

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

Remain In Me

Contributed by Amy Bickel on Aug 6, 2008

Christ is our place of safety during the storms of life.

Remain In Me (John 15:4, 9-10) ILLUSTRATION: It was a dark and stormy night when a lady was on a boat crossing Lake Michigan. The lightning, thunder, and rain made her very nervous. She saw jagged rocks jutting above the surface of the lake. In fear, she asked the captain, “Do you know where ...read more

Scripture: John 15:4

Denomination: Baptist