Sermons on Dirty Jokes:

Every Careless Word

Contributed by Kelvin Mckisic on Jan 3, 2008

We need to be careful what we say because God will judge us by the things we say.

Every Careless Word Matthew 12:36-37 “But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.” In short: we need to be careful what we say because God ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 12:36-37

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

Jonas Stutzmann's Chair For Jesus

Contributed by Scott Carmer on Feb 4, 2008

Stutzman, an old order Amishman who built a chair for the return of Jesus, was wrong about a lot of things. But he had a passion for the presence of God. Do we?

Jonas Stutzmann’s Chair for Jesus I Corinthians 3:10-19a February 3, 2008 On a chilly, rainy day in October of 1871, Jonas Stutzmann was buried in the old Stutzmann cemetery in Holmes County, Ohio. He died in the home of his son Daniel and one of his last wishes was that his casket be carried to ...read more

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 3:10-19

Denomination: Methodist

Last Will Be First Series

Contributed by Tim Adour on Nov 13, 2006

A close look at apparent contradictions in scripture that are really powerful truths to live by. Powerpoint available.

CONTRADICTIONS LESSON II THE FIRST SHALL BE LAST October 15, 2006 IF YOU WERE HERE LAST WEEK YOU ALREADY KNOW WHERE I’M GOING. FOR THOSE WHO WEREN’T HERE LET ME ASK YOU THIS . . . WHEN YOU HEAR THE WORDS “COUNTRY MUSIC,” WHAT DO YOU THINK OF? LAST WEEK I MADE A JOKE SOME DIDN’T FIND FUNNY, ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 20:20-28

Denomination: Assembly Of God

Called To Be Super-Heroes Series

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Jun 1, 2015

In the spiritual realm, we are called to be God’s super heroes. We can only be super heroes on earth, because — when we are in heaven — we will not need these unique skills.

Called to Be Super-Heroes (I Timothy 6:11-17, 20-21) 1. [This is a combination Norwegian and Chinese joke] A young man walks through New York Chinatown and notices a shop with the name Hans Olaffsen's Laundry. He thought it seemed out of place but curiosity got the best of him and he walked into ...read more

Scripture: 1 Timothy 6:11-21

Denomination: Independent/Bible

The God Of Pleasure Series

Contributed by Jim Kilson on Nov 7, 2014

Part 2 of 5 in a series on the false gods of this world (i.e. of our own creation) that vie to be the ultimate object of our worship.

INTRODUCTION: When our kids are little we take them to visit a pediatrician for “check-ups.” How are their eyes, their ears, and their growth rate? If anything is wrong with their physical health, we are glad to discover it, and move toward healing, though perhaps more infrequent, we ...read more

Scripture: Ecclesiastes 2:1-11

Denomination: Christian Church

Questions That Must Be Answered

Contributed by Larry Grant on Apr 17, 2022

If Jesus is who you are looking for? -You won’t find Him at the bottom of a dead drink! -You won’t find Him at top of a dead career! -You won’t find Him at the end of a dead ladder! -You won’t find Him in the beginning of a dead relationship!

Luke 24:1-6; Acts 1:9-11 Questions that Must be Answered April 17, 2022 The Two Angels appear at the tomb and ask the women, “Why do you seek the living among the dead?” It’s an age-old question that needs an answer from every one of us today! If Jesus is who you are looking for? -You ...read more

Scripture: Luke 24:1-6, Acts 1:9-11

Denomination: Baptist

Do Everything Decent And In Order

Contributed by Nettie J Pennington on Dec 28, 2024

God’s Big Idea: “Avoid worthless, foolish talk that only leads to more godless behavior” (2 Tim. 2:16, NLT).

Prayer: Father God, Lord Jesus, hallowed is your holy name. In times like these, Oh Lord, we recognize that we need decency and order. Consequently, as we move forward, we humble ourselves before your mighty throne and ask for Your strength to see us through these trying times. Lord Jesus, we ...read more

Scripture: 2 Timothy 2:16, 1 Corinthians 14:33, 1 Corinthians 14:40

Denomination: Other

The Role Of A Godly Father

Contributed by Keith Foskey on Jun 8, 2006

Our main verse for today says that a Godly husband (and father) is one who imitates Christ.

OPENING JOKE: “Home Library” A classified ad was seen recently in the newspaper that read: “Complete Set of Encyclopedia Britannica. Excellent condition. Never been used. ‘Wife knows everything’!” INTRODUCTION: Welcome and happy Father’s Day. Illustration: “History of Father’s Day” In 1909 in ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 5:22-33

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Giving God What He Wants Series

Contributed by Eyriche Cortez on Apr 17, 2007

Living according to God’s will is living according to what He wants

There was a man walking along the railroad. His right foot accidentally got stuck in one of the tracks. While struggling to free his foot, suddenly he heard the train coming. He panicked. He tried and tried but he could not break free. He could see the train fast approaching. He prayed to God, ...read more

Scripture: Romans 12:1-2

Denomination: Baptist

Four Certainties About The Future Series

Contributed by Roger Thomas on Feb 16, 2007

The story of the Rich Man and Lazarus illustrates some much needed insight into what the future holds for everyone who dies before Jesus comes.

Dr. Roger W. Thomas, Preaching Minister First Christian Church, Vandalia, MO What Happens When A Person Dies? Four Certainties About the Future Luke 16:19-31 I’ve conducted lots of funerals through years. Most have been quite normal. A few have been a little different. But I never had ...read more

Scripture: Luke 16:19-31

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

Room To Grow Series

Contributed by Victor Yap on Dec 18, 2007

Abraham, Pt. 5

ROOM TO GROW (GENESIS 17:1-19) Twice Michelle Kwan failed to land the big prize at Winter Olympics Figure Skating Championship. In 1998 she was placed second and in 2002 she dropped to third. Each time she bravely congratulated the winner, evaluated her situation and announced her participation in ...read more

Scripture: Genesis 17:1-19

Denomination: Independent/Bible

The Tongue Is Still The Tongue

Contributed by Jason Bentley on May 12, 2015

Has the tongue really changed? Have new avenues of having our voices heard revealed more of who we truly are? How do we contol the uncontrollable tongue?

The Tongue is Still the Tongue Warning About the Tongue Ok, everybody do this (stick out your tongue). Now look at the person next to you. Nasty, ain’t it! That’s really, really gross! But, for all the grossness you see on a physical tongue, none of that compares to the nastiness ...read more

Scripture: James 3:1-18

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

Why 2,000 Years Ago Series

Contributed by Doug Fannon on Dec 6, 2018

Why did Jesus Come when He did. Why not before? Why not later? We will see that God had just the right time in history, like none other, for Jesus to come.

Why 2 thousand years ago? Think about it, the land of Israel was occupied by the Romans. A pagan nation ruled over Israel and the Jewish people were in a state of upheaval, and the priestly system was corrupt. If Jesus came as a Ruler, or as a King, as a warrior Messiah, to drive out the Romans, ...read more

Scripture: Galatians 4:4

Denomination: Baptist

Stay In The House

Contributed by Jehnon Johnson on Oct 18, 2000

One of the most discouraging phrases you can say to a child is ìstay in the houseî.

One of the most discouraging phrases you can say to a child is ìstay in the houseî. Most children would agree that they would rather get a whipping instead of being told to ìstay in the houseî. I remember getting in trouble in school and praying that I would get whipped. For I knew that if I were ...read more

Scripture: Luke 15:11-23

The Baby Jesus Coming To Our Home Series

Contributed by Damien Spikereit on Dec 2, 2001

An indirect sermon focusing on God’s strange journey to our home.

- Every family has certain Christmas traditions. I would imagine your family is no different. Some families like to open their presents on Christmas Eve, others wait until Christmas morning. Some families who come from Catholic backgrounds will huddle up in the car and head to Midnight Mass, I ...read more

Scripture: Luke 2:1-7

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ