Sermons on Dirty Jokes:

False Love Series

Contributed by Michael Thomas on Feb 13, 2004

There is a lot of talk about true love. But what is true love? So much of what passes for true love is really the opposite. In Ephesians 5:3-7 we learn that there is such a thing as false love and that the consequences are serious for those who are fooled

Introduction I want to begin our time together today by telling you the true story of a duke who lived during the fourteenth century named Raynald III. Raynald III lived a life of indulgence and was obese. His Latin nickname was Crassus, which means, “fat.” One day Raynald and his younger brother, ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 5:3-7

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Friend Of God

Contributed by Johnny Bley on Feb 18, 2002

The friend of God lives to please God, hears His voice, responds positively and becomes a blessing.

The Friend of God Genesis 12:1-3 For the last two and a half years, NMBC has been the most blessed church in SW MS—we’ve had Philip Alford as our Minister of Music. During this time, Philip has become very special to all of us there as he has been to so many of you for so long. He as been ...read more

Scripture: Genesis 12:1-4

Denomination: Baptist

The Pharisee & The Tax-Collector - A Sermon On Luke 18

Contributed by David Smith on Apr 21, 2005

Father Dave’s sermon on the parable of the tax collector and the Parisee. Father Dave challenges the conventional understanding of the Pharisee.

Luke 18 - Jesus told them another joke. I know your translation says ’parable’ rather than ’joke’, but ’joke’ is not a bad translation. We don’t tell parables nowadays, we tell jokes, and they’re pretty similar - both have punch lines, both can help you to see life in a different way, both can ...read more

Scripture: Luke 18:9-14

Denomination: Episcopal/Anglican

You Will Be With Me

Contributed by John Kapteyn on Oct 18, 2000

Introductory Comments 1.

Introductory Comments 1. Today we go back together nearly 2,000 years. We go to a place called Calvary or the Skull. Picture the scene as three crosses stand on the hill and on each of them is a man who will soon meet his death. If we were living at this time, there would not be that much unusual ...read more

Scripture: Luke 22:26-43

Denomination: Presbyterian/Reformed

You Will Be With Me

Contributed by John Kapteyn on Oct 18, 2000

Introductory Comments 1.

Introductory Comments 1. Today we go back together nearly 2,000 years. We go to a place called Calvary or the Skull. Picture the scene as three crosses stand on the hill and on each of them is a man who will soon meet his death. If we were living at this time, there would not be that much unusual ...read more

Scripture: Luke 23:26-43

Denomination: Presbyterian/Reformed

What The Stable And Your Heart Have In Common

Contributed by John Gaston on Dec 11, 2012

What do the stable and our hearts have in common? Both are 1). Places chosen by God for His Son to be born; 2). Places needing transformation; and 3). Places through which God desires to reach a lost world.

WHAT THE STABLE AND YOUR HEART HAVE IN COMMON Lk.2:1-7 INTRODUCTION A. HUMOR: Strange Illness 1. It was the doctor's last patient consultation on Christmas Eve. A mother came in with her young daughter and asked if he would examine her because she had been showing some strange symptoms: ...read more

Scripture: Luke 2:1-7

Denomination: Assembly Of God

When The Brook Runs Dry: 1 Kings 17 Series

Contributed by J.k. Hill on Apr 13, 2014

Elijah (God is the Lord) stood up boldly for God. He proved that God is the one who owns and his in charge of everyone and everything as he encounters a drought, a dry brook, a depleted barrel, and a dead boy.

Supplies: Fake Vine, Scissors Series Drought: Moving from parched to passionate (1 Kings 17-19) Week One: When the brook runs dry Go ahead and be turning to 1 Kings 17, fill in blanks I want to start out today with a question: What do Passover, an extra cup of wine, leaving the door of your ...read more

Scripture: 1 Kings 17:1-24

Denomination: Baptist

Part I: The Value Of An Mba Series

Contributed by Chris Carroll on Sep 10, 2007

This is the first in a series on helping the body of believers to become better servants. This sermon focus on understanding the need for service and ways to become better servants

Having a Servant’s Heart Series: Part I: The Value of an M.B.A. Matthew 20:20-28. CBC August 18, 2007 Well, I know that I have missed you over the last several weeks in my travels to China and Vermont and I hope that you have missed me maybe a little. But as Amanda reminded me the other day, that ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 20:20-28

Denomination: Baptist

Taking Up The Towel

Contributed by Jefferson Williams on May 23, 2008

A talk given at Pontiac Christian School’s 8th grade promotion ceremony

8th Grade Graduation 2008 Pastor Jeff Williams Recently, I’v enjoyed telling this joke, or variations of it, to Mr. Marley’s class: Two penguins are sitting in a bath tub. One says to the other one, “Could you please pass the marmalaide jelly.” The other one replies, “What do I look like, a ...read more

Scripture: John 13:1-5

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Hidden Commandment

Contributed by Andy Barnard on Dec 27, 2008

Hidden in the middle of the Golden Rule is a commandment which needs to be obeyed.

THE HIDDEN COMMANDMENT - Telling yourself the truth. I want to talk to you this morning about the hidden commandment. Mk 12:28-31. Did you hear it? Love your neighbour as you love yourself ... we need to love ourselves! But do we? Woody Allen: “my one regret is that I am not someone else” If we are ...read more

Scripture: Mark 12:28-31

Denomination: Pentecostal

Ephesians 5:1-21 Series

Contributed by Eric Hanson on Sep 19, 2008

Here’s how to live pure lives in an impure age.

Ephesians Chapter 5:1-21 Pastor Eric J. Hanson September 21, 2008 We are wise to remember that when the Apostles wrote the letters we now have as books of the New Testament, they did not write them with chapter and verse divisions. They simply wrote them as God inspired communication. I mention ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 5:1-21

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Alien Communication - Aliens - Part 3 Series

Contributed by Steve Ely on Sep 1, 2012

Odd . . . different . . . we believe They are among us! Learn to spot them!Communicate with them!

Aliens Pt. 3 – Alien Communication Aliens. Extraterrestrials. Green skinned, one eyed, antenna adorned, space hopping creatures spying on us! We are intrigued by the question, "Are we alone in this universe." We established in week 1 that we believe in Aliens. In fact, the truth be told, we are ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 4:24-25

Denomination: Pentecostal

"On The Mountain And In The Valley"

Contributed by Ken Sauer on Feb 13, 2015

A sermon about listening to and following Jesus.

"On the Mountain and in the Valley" Mark 9:2-29 Have you ever been in a group of people where someone told a joke and everyone else laughed except you? You're thinking: "I don't get it. I missed the point." Or perhaps you are in a group of people where someone makes a point and everyone else ...read more

Scripture: Mark 9:2-29

Denomination: United Methodist

Ready

Contributed by Gaither Bailey on Nov 23, 2010

We should strive to be ready for the coming of Christ Jesus by repenting of our sins daily.

Matthew 24: 36 – 44 / Ready Intro: David Peterson, former pastor of the 1st Presbyterian Church in Spokane, WA told about a time when he was preparing his sermon. His daughter came in and said, “Daddy, can we play?” He answered that he was very busy and in about an hour they ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 24:36-44

Denomination: Presbyterian/Reformed

Ephesians 4b

Contributed by Dean Rhine on May 8, 2008

Ephesians 4b

Ephesians 4 - August 20, 2006 Good morning. Join me in turning to the book of Ephesians, chapter 4. We have been going through this letter of Paul the Apostle, written to Christians in the town of Ephesus, the capital city of Turkey or Asia Minor as it was known back them. We mentioned that ...read more

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational