Sermons on Crude Joking:

Were You There? Yes You Were. Series

Contributed by Mike Fogerson on May 20, 2015

Tonight, I want to take you back to where, for all the reasons that really matter, over 2,000 years ago. a This is a message that before its over . . . will engage your senses ...sight, smell, touch, taste, hear what Jesus experienced in the 14 hours leading up to the Cross.

Were You There? Yes you were. Good Friday Service 2015 April 3, 2015 CFBC Chester, IL Dr. Mike Fogerson, Speaker A The Crucifixion narrative in the four gospels take place over about a 14 hour period of time. PIX: BLOOD MOON 1 Tonight, I want to take you back to where, for all the reasons ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 26:48-50

Denomination: Baptist

Taking Up The Towel

Contributed by Jefferson Williams on May 23, 2008

A talk given at Pontiac Christian School’s 8th grade promotion ceremony

8th Grade Graduation 2008 Pastor Jeff Williams Recently, I’v enjoyed telling this joke, or variations of it, to Mr. Marley’s class: Two penguins are sitting in a bath tub. One says to the other one, “Could you please pass the marmalaide jelly.” The other one replies, “What do I look like, a ...read more

Scripture: John 13:1-5

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Light That Changed The World

Contributed by Scott Carmer on Apr 8, 2007

The light of the world has come. He has risen.

The Light that Changed the World John 20:1-18 April 8, 2007 Easter Sunday How many government bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They contract out for things like that. How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to change it and three to deny ...read more

Scripture: John 20:1-18

Denomination: Methodist

The Pastor And The Flock

Contributed by Dr. Odell Belger on Mar 29, 2022

Have you ever received one of those chain letters that tells you to send a copy of the letter to several other people, add your name to the list, and so on?

We call these letters chain letters and most of the time included in the letter is a curse of some kind if you break the chain. Illus: There’s a story about a church that decided to include in their newsletter something similar. It had some tongue-in-cheek suggestions for church members that ...read more

Scripture: 1 Peter 5:1-4

Denomination: Baptist

How Simeon Had Peace At His Death Series

Contributed by Jim Butcher on Nov 17, 2021

This sermon focuses on the interesting comment that Simeon makes that, having seen the Messiah, he is now ready to die in peace. What would it take for us to die in peace?

READY TO GO? What would make you say, “Now I can die in peace”? - I ask this question in the half-joking way that we usually use this phrase. Someone meets their sports hero and then says, “Now I can die in peace.” Some teen girls go see Shawn Mendes in concert and leave saying, “Now I can die ...read more

Scripture: Luke 2:25-32

Denomination: Baptist

The Saddest Thing About Going To Hell

Contributed by Steven Cook on Oct 18, 2000

I. Introduction A.

I. Introduction A. If YOU truly believed that Jesus Christ would come back tomorrow, what a Difference there would be in YOUR LIFE! B. The same is true if YOU believed in a literal, physical HELL! C. In a recent survey, it was determined that 35% of Baptists; 54% of Presbyterians, 58% of ...read more

Scripture: Mark 9:43-48

Denomination: Baptist

"Then The Soldiers..."

Contributed by Winson Butler on Apr 20, 2004

The horror of the Cross. The sneer of the crowd. The last words spoken by Jesus. Each of these had their place, but, what about what Jesus heard before He died? What will be the last words He hears from you!

"Then the soldiers..." John 19:23a Introduction I. Mel Gibson recently confronted us all with the last twelve hours of Jesus life. From the walk to the horror of the Cross. A cruel way for a man to die? Yes, necessary, absolutely if our sins were to be ...read more

Scripture: John 19:23

Denomination: Baptist

A God's-Eye View Of Prayer Series

Contributed by Daniel Habben on Feb 14, 2016

Paul helps us understand what a privilege prayer is.

The new church treasurer was struggling to open a combination lock on the offering safe. He had been told the combination, but couldn’t quite remember it. Finally he went to the pastor and asked for help. The pastor came into the room and began to turn the dial. After the first two numbers he ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 3:14-21

Denomination: Lutheran

Living As Children Of Light Series

Contributed by Warner Pidgeon on Mar 27, 2011

Using 2 video clips I begin by encouraging people to turn to Christ if they haven’t yet. Then I unpack this passage as to what it means to live as children of light, full of forgiveness, avoiding even a hint or a whiff of impurity.

(Note to the reader: I began this talk by showing a video called Ribbons, available from PremierTV2006: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9K86vcHOLI. It shows how Jesus took upon himself the penalty for sin and all that binds us; see 1 Peter 2: 24-25.) ‘[Jesus the Messiah] himself bore our sins in ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 5:1-14

Denomination: Anglican

God's Marriage Problem Series

Contributed by Glenn Pease on Mar 31, 2021

God is not a bachelor. He knows about the problems of marriage from the inside, for He has struggled with it ever since He chose Israel to be His bride.

Nothing can be so funny as that which can be so tragic. There is nothing funny about tragedy, but one of the paradoxes of life is that tragedy produces so much humor. Tragedy and comedy are so close they are Siamese twins. There is nothing funny about a concussion, for example, but if you get one ...read more

Scripture: James 4:3-4

The Friend Of God

Contributed by Johnny Bley on Feb 18, 2002

The friend of God lives to please God, hears His voice, responds positively and becomes a blessing.

The Friend of God Genesis 12:1-3 For the last two and a half years, NMBC has been the most blessed church in SW MS—we’ve had Philip Alford as our Minister of Music. During this time, Philip has become very special to all of us there as he has been to so many of you for so long. He as been ...read more

Scripture: Genesis 12:1-4

Denomination: Baptist

7 More Ways To Be Wise

Contributed by Todd Riley on Mar 25, 2006

Select verses from Provebs 26-31

Islington Baptist Church March 26, 2006 Proverbs 26-31 Scripture reading: Exodus 32 Even more ways to be wise This we must remember if we are going to be truly wise. The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline. Proverbs ...read more

Denomination: Baptist

Misplaced Priorities - Fools Series

Contributed by Gene Gregory on Apr 12, 2008

First in series on Foolish Living, based on fools found in the Bible. Examines qualities of a person God calls a fool.

MISPLACED PRIORITIES This week we celebrated April Fools Day. No one knows for certain, when or where this special day began, but it is celebrated in one form or another, often by other names, in many countries around the world. I still remember the first April Fool’s joke pulled on me. I was ...read more

Scripture: Luke 12:13-21

Denomination: Baptist

The Innkeeper-A Monologue

Contributed by George Barton on Jan 10, 2006

A monologue based on Luke 2:7 and Matthew 2

S20051028 THE INNKEEPER. A MONONOLGUE Note: The following monologue has some anachronisms. They have been put there deliberately by the author for two reasons: first, to make the old story seem more contemporary; and secondly, for sake of some humor. The dates given are those of Frank R. Klassen ...read more

Scripture: Luke 2:7

Denomination: Baptist

The Innkeeper-A Monologue

Contributed by George Barton on Jan 19, 2006

Traces the thoughts of the innkeeper from the night of the birth of Christ till after the visit of the Magi.

S20051028 Luke 2:7-38; Matthew 2:1-12 THE INNKEEPER. A MONONOLGUE Note: The following monologue has some anachronisms. They have been put there deliberately by the author for two reasons: first, to make the old story seem more contemporary; and secondly, for sake of some humor. The dates given ...read more

Denomination: Baptist