Sermons on Bad Jokes:

Crescendo (August 18, 2019).

Contributed by John Williams Iii on Aug 14, 2020

Jesus shared with his audience then and his congregation today that life is not always a rose garden. Life is not a dress rehearsal. Some who are open to the gospel are often rejected by those who oppose it and sometimes they are family members.

CRESCENDO Text: Luke 12:49 - 56 Have you ever had something happen that made your Adrenalin glands kick in instant overdrive when you were almost asleep? It said that Beethoven would sometimes shock his audiences with a shift from soft music to abrupt harsh noise. Imagine sitting ...read more

Scripture: Luke 12:49-56

Denomination: United Methodist

Talking Trash

Contributed by Kyle Meador on Nov 13, 2000

Jesus reminds us that the trash that comes out of our mouth actually has a hidden source.

People who move to the United States from non-English speaking countries typically have a difficult time learning our language – and understandably so. English is a weird language. Think about the word ‘love.’ It can mean a lot of different things. I love baseball, I love broccoli, I love Brian ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 12:33-37

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Put Off The Old, Put On The New: Tips For Christian Living In Ephesians 4 Series

Contributed by Justin Steckbauer on Jan 27, 2024

I want to live a true, real Christian life. I hope you do too. So we’re going to search out in the scriptures some of the most practical teachings we can find. We’re going to look at the dos and the don'ts and hopefully we’ll find a better understanding of what faith looks like.

What does it mean to be worldly? “The Bible defines worldliness by centering morality where we intuitively know it should be. Worldliness is the lust of the flesh (a passion for sensual satisfaction), the lust of the eyes (an inordinate desire for the finer things of life), and the pride of life ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 4:17-19

Denomination: Salvation Army

We Are Family

Contributed by C Jordan on Jul 14, 2007

The church is the family of God. WE ARE FAMILY! ~ And our #1 family value is: LOVE! Let’s be the family God has called us to be and learn to love each other.

WE ARE FAMILY (Membership Sunday) OPENING JOKE: A pastor had had a bad week. On Sunday he was very frustrated and he began his sermon, "Everyone who belongs to this church is going to hell if they don’t change their ways." One man in the back began to laugh. So the pastor said it again louder. The ...read more

Scripture: John 13:34-35

Denomination: *other

Devoted Living In Difficult Days Series

Contributed by Donald Mcculley on Dec 21, 2010

Don’t lose your ambition in the midst of difficult days.

DEVOTED LIVING IN DIFFICULT DAYS JEREMIAH 24-29 INTRODUCTION: Robert J. Morgan said, “We must never forget that the word persevere comes from the prefix ‘per’, meaning through, coupled with the word ‘severe’. It means to keep pressing on, trusting God, looking up, doing our duty – even through ...read more

Denomination: Baptist

A Hope-Filled Heart Series

Contributed by David Owens on Dec 15, 2011

In this sermon based on a chapter from Max Lucado's book Just Like Jesus, we learn how to have a hope-filled heart like Jesus.

Introduction: A. Peter Robinson, former speech writer for Ronald Reagan, wrote a book titled How Ronald Reagan Changed My Life. 1. Robinson relates a lunch meeting he held with Edwin Meese, who had served in many official capacities within the Reagan administration, including Attorney ...read more

Scripture: Romans 12:12

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

"Call And Response...an Eternal Dilemma"

Contributed by Ken Sauer on Feb 6, 2004

God has a call on each of our lives and each of us must respond.

Isaiah 6:1-8 “Call and Response…An Eternal Dilemma” By: Kenneth Emerson Sauer, Pastor of Parkview United Methodist Church, Newport News, VA www.parkview-umc.org. Back in the 1980’s there was a rock band named Twisted Sister that became popular through a video for one of their songs that used to ...read more

Scripture: Isaiah 6:1-8

Denomination: United Methodist

Anyone Got A Light?

Contributed by Todd Leupold on May 30, 2007

The only way to get out of or avoid the dark is to find a source of light. Where is yours? How reliable is it? How easy is it to find? Once you do, how bright is it? How long and wide is its’ beam?

ANYONE GOT A LIGHT? Sunday Morning, May 15, 2005 Rev. Todd G. Leupold INTRODUCTION: Light Bulb jokes Why joke so much about light bulbs? Why are these jokes so common and why do we keep laughing at them? Let me suggest it is because laughter helps to dissipate the deep, natural fear of the dark ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 5:14-16

Denomination: Baptist

"Guideline 2: Do The Right Things” Series

Contributed by Dave Mcfadden on Jun 19, 2017

We must live our lives focused on loving God and others.

A commercial flight found themselves having trouble with their navigation system. The pilot got on the intercom to inform and comfort passengers. He said, "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry to report that we are having difficulty with our navigational system, which means that we presently do not know ...read more

Scripture: Philippians 1:9-11

Denomination: Baptist

What Did You Expect?

Contributed by John Beehler on Jul 1, 2003

Who do you see, a Messiah or a carpenter?

What Did You Expect? For most of us, the most powerful negative feeling we will ever experience is the feeling of rejection. People are rejected by their parents, children, spouses, co-workers, friends, peers, and even fellow church members! In our scripture for today, Jesus ...read more

Scripture: Mark 6:1-6

Denomination: Presbyterian/Reformed

Obedience To The Word - Fuel For A Steadfast Faith Series

Contributed by Paul Barreca on Mar 14, 2014

Your speech reveals whether your heart has been changed by the Word.

Your speech reveals whether your heart has been changed by the Word. James 1:19-26 Our Words to Others Reveal our Faithfulness to God The theme of “STEADFASTNESS” is still prevalent, even in this passage on the tongue. (1:25) James will address the tongue again in 3:1-12 He is ...read more

Scripture: James 1:27

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

A Secret No Longer Sermon Viii: Choosing The Right Path Not God's Wrath Series

Contributed by Charles Cunningham on Apr 6, 2020

Contrast the Christian path you chose for your life versus the awful wrath that awaits those who oppose the way of Christ, and renew your commitment to follow Jesus all the way.

The Path You Chose vs The Wrath Reserved for Those Who Oppose When Mrs. Morris, our next door landlord, looked out her kitchen window and saw me taking hold of the well bucket attached to the end of a rope - the bulk of which was wrapped around a spindle ...read more

Scripture: Romans 1:18-25

Thou Art The Man

Contributed by Ed Wood on Feb 14, 2003

A message encouraging Christians to be more faithful in their daily walk with God

THOU ART THE MAN 2 Samuel 12:1-10 INTRO: We all have heard GOOD NEWS and BAD NEWS jokes. ILLUS: Did you hear about the man who went to the doctor because he had a severe obesity problem? The doctor examined him very carefully, and said, “I have some good news and some bad news.” “The good news ...read more

Scripture: 2 Samuel 12:1-10, 2 Samuel 12:1-14

Denomination: Baptist

Thermostats And Thermometers

Contributed by Rick Boyne on Aug 6, 2012

We should influence the world around us – not be influenced BY the world

Thermostats and Thermometers August 23, 2009 Morning Service Immanuel Baptist Church, Wagoner, OK Rick Boyne Message Point: We should influence the world around us – not be influenced BY the world. Focus Passage: Matthew 5:13-16 Supplemental Passage: And do not be conformed to this world, ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 5:13-16

Denomination: Baptist

Walk In Love Series

Contributed by Freddy Fritz on Oct 5, 2018

The analysis of the concept of imitating God in Ephesians 5:1-7 teaches us to walk in love.

Scripture Today I am beginning a new sermon series in Ephesians 5:1-21 that I am calling, “Be Imitators of God.” In his letter to the Ephesian Christians, the Apostle Paul wrote in Ephesians 5:1a, “Therefore be imitators of God.” Commentator James Montgomery Boice says that this is “one of the ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 5:1-7

Denomination: Presbyterian/Reformed