No Time For Romance

Sermon for 2/13/2005

No Time for Romance

Introduction:

Gail Ann Dorsey- No Time

No time for talking, no time for walking, not time for loving you, Baby, I’ve got a lot on my mind. So much to do and too little time I got a lot on my mind, and I wish I knew where to draw the line.

Ain’t got time for romance on a starry night or waking up beside you in the morning light. I’ve got business to attend and money to spend. Time is my enemy. There’s too little hour in a given day. Too many people getting in my way. I’m so caught up in my crazy world!

No time for talking no time for walking no time for loving you, baby. I’ve got a lot on my mind. I’m too tired to listen, too tired to fight, too tired to get up and turn off the lights. I worry about the things to come. I’m looking out for #1.

WBTU:

Like it or not, Christians face many of the same obstacles in marriage as non-Christians. But Christian couples have an advantage. With God’s help, we can protect our marriages by recognizing and overcoming many of these obstacles.

Terry MacCabe wrote an article in the Lookout called, “Reversing the Trend” a few years ago and in this article he identified three obstacles in marriage.

Thesis: This morning let’s talk about apathy, consumerism, and temptation that affect all marriages.

For instances:

1. Apathy

Given the prevailing apathy toward marriage in society, Christians must hold forth the sanctity of marriage in their own relationships. God’s Word must be our standard. Hebrews 13:4- Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure.

When we are married, marriage must be a priority when it comes to our time. In an article by Stephen Slack he says that many married couples feel they’re too busy to build and maintain a healthy marriage. Is it any wonder? With ever increasing demands at work, financial pressures, continuing education, endless list of extracurricular activities like sports, boy and girl scouts, piano lessons, dance lessons, choir, band, church meetings, housework, doctor visits, etc.

A Christian counselor once asked, “When you think about the time you spent together preparing for marriage, are you spending enough time together now to stay married?” Good question! Many of us are not. There is no rest and little time together. When it comes to working on marriage usually that is on the back burner.

Apathy in marriage isn't a joking matter, though. Apathy is silent and subtle, yet apathy can erode the joy and quality of a good relationship.

Couples need to install a good A/C in their marriage. An Apathy Check from time to time can help determine if this unwanted guest has entered your home. Consider these questions: Does the thought of going on a date with your spouse - without the kids - make you nervous because you don't know what you'd talk about?

Does the idea of going out with your mate even once a month seem too frequent? Have you lost the energy to do fun things together?

Don't panic, point blame, or get defensive if you discover apathy abides within your relationship. Every marriage goes through phases. The question is: What do you do when you're apathetic about your relationship? The answer: Start coming up with solutions.

Generally, women prefer to share intimacy through talking and thinking together, as men tend to prefer intimacy through touching and togetherness

Good marriages have a combination of all four and—this is the important part—spouses sometimes have to force themselves to experience their spouse’s preferred form of intimacy. For example, if you know that your wife feels closest to you when talking about important things, then slowdown and listen to her with empathy, something you might not want to do at first. Likewise, men are more likely to open up when doing something physical, so going for a walk with your husband while you talk about matters of your heart may be the right change for you.

Need to realize, like many empty nesters have found out, that when the children grow up, when it comes right down to it, it is just you and me baby in this thing together.

2. Consumerism

** Affects us in two ways

A. It affects our commitments.

Our culture’s desire for instant gratification that leads to irresponsibility affects the way many couples view marriage.

One of the forces pulling marriages apart is the societal message which repeatedly says to us, “You should get what you want. If something (including a marriage partner) doesn't work, throw it away and buy a new, improved model. If this is the overall societal message, is it any wonder that this has had an impact on how we view marriage?”