Meaningful Marriage Series

SPEND TIME WITH EACH OTHER.

Create some moments where you can just be together. Instead of everybody just going their own way, walk together along life’s road when you can.

Caroline Kitchener, in The Atlantic, suggests doing dishes together from time to time. She writes:

Every day, they slowly accumulate. Plates covered in sauces and crumbs. Forks, knives, and spoons all gummed with bits of this and that. At the end of a long day of work, cooking, cleaning, and, for many, negotiating with small children, a couple has to face the big question: Who is going to do the dishes?

A report from the Council of Contemporary Families suggests that the answer to that question can have a significant impact on the health and longevity of a relationship. It found that, for women it’s more important to share the responsibility of doing the dishes than any other chore. Women who wash the vast majority of the dishes report more relationship conflict, less relationship satisfaction, and even worse sex, than women with partners who help. Women are happier about sharing dishwashing duties than sharing any other household task.

What is it about dishes? Dan Carlson, the lead author of the study, offers one possible reason: “Doing dishes is gross. There is old, moldy food sitting in the sink. If you have kids, there is curdled milk in sippy cups that smells disgusting.”

Couples who... share dishwashing responsibilities seem to have better relationships. According to Carlson, that’s because a couple can do dishes as a team... The nature of dishwashing encourages couples to stand in the kitchen together and work simultaneously until the job is done. That kind of teamwork, especially when practiced regularly, often makes partners feel more connected, ready to tackle the gross and the curdled, in and outside of the sink” (Caroline Kitchener, “Doing Dishes is the Worst,” The Atlantic, 4-3-18; www.PreachingToday.com)

So there you have it. If you want to improve your marriage, do dishes together, or play a game together, or watch a movie together, or pray together, read the Bible together. God made a woman to be WITH her man, so spend time with each other. Then...

HELP EACH OTHER.

Support your spouse. Assist him in the task God gave Him to do. For God also made a woman to HELP her man. Look at vs.18 again: Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a HELPER.”

Now, I know some women bristle at the idea of being a man’s helper like it’s some inferior role, but is it really? Think about it. When a person is drowning and in need of help, who is the stronger party: the one who helps or the one who needs the help? The stronger party is the helper, of course! So it is in the husband-wife relationship. The helper role is the stronger role.

In fact, God Himself is called the “Helper” of His people on numerous occasions throughout the Old Testament. Psalm 33:20 Our soul waits for the LORD; he is our HELP and our shield. Psalm 70:5 Hasten to me, O God! You are my HELP and my deliverer. Psalm 115:9 O Israel, trust in the LORD! He is their HELP and their shield.