Love Does Not Seek Its Own

Alba 12-7-2025

LOVE DOES NOT SEEK ITS OWN

I Corinthians 13:5

I Corinthians 13 continues to describe what love is not. It says in verse five that love, “does not seek its own”. Other translations say that love does not “insist on its own way”, “doesn't think about itself”, or “is not self-seeking”. In other words, love is not selfish. That is a hard lesson to learn sometimes. There was a mother who was headed to McDonald’s with her five year old son one day. And as they drove, they passed a car accident. The mother had a practice of encouraging her children to pray for those who might be hurt. So the mom pointed and said to her son, “We should pray.” From the back seat she heard his prayer: “Please, God, don’t let those cars block the entrance to the McDonald’s.” Even our prayers can become selfish.

Selfishness refers to actions or behaviors primarily motivated by an individual’s interests, often at the expense of others or without consideration for others’ needs. It implies a focus on self-benefit, whether consciously or unconsciously. Again, scripture says that love “does not seek its own”. A person who does everything for their own gain, especially when that gain comes at the expense of others, obviously does not care about others and, by definition, does not love others.

These days, a lot of people are demanding their “rights” and live in such a way as to trample the rights of others. There are those who are always thinking of what life owes them. But there are others who never forget what they owe to life.

Thankfully we have examples of those who didn't put themselves first. As we approach this Christmas season, we have the example of Mary, who had the privilege to become the mother of Jesus. In Luke chapter one it tells how the angel Gabriel came to Mary and told her she was blessed among women. Now, she didn't come from a rich family. She didn't live in an upscale community. So she didn't understand this message because she would not be considered anyone special, and it troubled her. So the angel told her not to be afraid, she had found favor with God.

But then she was told something that must have sounded fantastic to her. The angel said she would become pregnant and give birth to a son. And she was told that this child would be the “Son of the highest” and that God would give Him the throne of His father, David! And that of His kingdom there would be not end!

Now that sounded amazing! But Mary goes back to the question of pregnancy. She asks, “How can this be?” You know, she was engaged, betrothed, but there was no union between Mary and Joseph during this time. It would have been considered shameful if there had been any pre-marital relations between them while only being engaged. Don't you wish that were still true today? We live in such a loose society that anything goes. And what has gone is a respect for moral guidelines that results in a culture that spurns God's design for spiritually healthy living.

But Mary did not live like that. By all evidence she was morally pure and believed in and trusted God. And if you think about it, isn't that the kind of person that God would choose to be the one through whom He would bring the Savior into this world?

In answer to Mary's question as to how this could happen, the angel told her that it would be miraculous. By means of the Holy Spirit she would become pregnant, not from any man. And “that Holy One who is to be born will be called the Son of God”. It is believed Mary was just a teenager. What a big task for a fairly young girl. And besides that, how would she explain it to Joseph, who was planning to marry her. So this presented a conundrum. You know, a real doozie of a situation. What was she to do? How should she react?

Now if God were to show you something that He had planned for you that in your mind seemed both impossible and carried with it many likely downsides, what would you do? Would you say, “Thanks God, but this doesn't really fit into my plans right now.” I wonder how many good things God has in store for any and all of us, but we were more interested in seeking our own interests than fulfilling God's plan and way.

But thankfully, that was not Mary's reaction. Oh, she could have said to the angel, “God is asking too much from me.” But Mary that was not Mary's reaction. A young woman today might have said, "I’ve got a career to think about ... I’ve got my plans, my ambitions, what about my dreams...”