Bringing Up Children

Alba 6-18-2023

BRINGING UP CHILDREN

Ephesians 6:1-4

Maybe you’ve heard the old story about fatherhood that says that when a child is 4 years old he says proudly, "My dad knows everything about everything." When he is 7 he says, "Dad knows almost everything about everything."

When he is 12 he says, "Well, it’s only natural that Dad doesn’t know everything." When he is 14 he says, "Dad is old fashioned." When he is 21 he says, "Dad is hopelessly out of step with the times."

When he is 25 he says, "Maybe Dad does know something about a few things." When he is 35 he says, "Maybe we ought to call Dad and check this out with him."

When he is 50 he says, "I wonder what Dad would have thought of this?" And when he is 65 he says, "I sure wish I could talk to Dad again."

Ephesians 6:1-4 says this: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 'Honor your father and mother,' which is the first commandment with promise: 'that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.' And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.”

Today is Father’s Day, which should remind us that we have a Heavenly Father, our God, who sent His only begotten Son into this world. And that Son loved us enough that He went to the cross to take the punishment for our sins. And our Heavenly Father continues to watch over us.

But not every father models what our Heavenly Father does, so this scripture in Ephesians chapter six is appropriate to help us understand the role of a father in the home. In both the letters to the Ephesians and the Colossians, fathers are singled out for special instructions.

Why is this? Because often the father is the one who neglects his responsibility. Many a man has transferred most of the child raising responsibilities to this wife. In some instances, the husband has literally done this by telling the wife that “the kids” are her responsibility.

In many cases this is unannounced, but happens by default. A father becomes so involved in his activities and concerns that he does not “have time” to help with the children.

Unfortunately you will find a lot of fathers out there who are not taking care of their kids. They get the woman pregnant and they take off, and then they don't pay any child support.

Shirking responsibility also happens when a father allows the government to provide for the kids. In America today it's too easy to get too comfortable with letting the government (a.k.a. the taxpayer) to provide for your kids.

It's too easy to develop an entitlement mentality. There are stories of parents who have a bunch of kids and blame the system for not taking care of them. There's something seriously wrong with that line of thinking.

We are responsible for taking care of our kids, not the taxpayers. That doesn't mean one shouldn't accept help when needed. Some people are too proud to accept assistance. That shouldn't be either. But a real man will accept the responsibility of doing his best to raise the children that he has fathered.

Do you remember the song "Where Have All the Flowers Gone"? The Song ended with the words, “When will they ever learn, when will they ever learn." Today we could reword the title of that song and ask, “Where Have All the Fathers Gone?”

Studies and news articles recently have pointed out that a lack of a father figure was a common denominator in much of the poverty in America. And many of those who are in prison have come from a fatherless home.

Remember back in the 60’s when Robert Young played "Father Knows Best" on TV. He portrayed the ideal father. He was always shown wearing a coat and shirt and necktie, even at home. His wife baked cakes and cookies, and kept the house spotlessly clean.

Whenever the children had problems, she always told them, "When Dad comes home and he’ll have the solution." And he always did. He always spoke with great wisdom and knew just what his family should do. Back then dad was portrayed as the leader, the guide; he was admired.

The contrast between TV dads of the 50's & 60's and those of today is telling. Modern-day television sitcoms often portray the dads as being more like an additional child than a mature leader. They are portrayed as clueless and irresponsible. But that is not God's plan for a Christian father.

A Christian father is given responsibility for two specific things in bringing up his children. Our scripture says he is to “train” and “admonish” the children in his care. Other versions use the words “instruct” and “discipline”.