Answers To Questions About Marriage

Alba 6-8-2025

ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS ABOUT MARRIAGE

I Corinthians 7:1-40

Several websites have a list of answers to questions about love and marriage from six to ten year olds. One question was “How do you decide who to marry?” Alan, age 10, said, “You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports. And she should keep the chips and dip coming.”

Kristin, age 10, seems to have a fatalistic idea of marriage when she answered that same question. She said, “No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all the way before, and you get to find our later who you're stuck with.”

And in answer to the question: “How to make love endure”, an 8 year old boy named Roger replied, “Don’t forget your wife’s name. That will mess up the love.” And Natalie, age 9, said, “Don't say you love somebody and then change your mind. Love isn't like picking what movie you want to watch.” Good advice! But if you want really good advice about love and marriage, the Bible is the place to go.

In First Corinthians chapter seven, the apostle Paul deals in depth with the subjects of marriage and singleness. It was his Holy Spirit guided response to the people in the Corinthian church who had questions about those things. He starts the chapter with: “Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me.” We don't have their letter, but we do have Paul's answers.

His answers were needed by that congregation so many years ago, and they are needed in our time, and they apply to us as well. We need this information to understand how to live in the way that will keep us within the Will of God. I must warn you that this gets fairly specific about human sexuality.

Today’s young people see a version of human relationships on TV and in the movies portrayed in graphic detail, sex without love or commitment. The biblical view of love and marriage stands in sharp contrast to what Hollywood promotes. God made it clear from the beginning that it was not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). So God made woman to be his companion and helper. God brought the two together and instructed them to hold fast to one another in loving commitment and permanence. Eric, age 6, seemed to understand that. He said, “Marriage is when you get to keep your girl, and don't have to give her back to her parents!”

Proverbs 18:22 says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord.” The biblical view of marriage is more than that of two people who just happen to live under the same roof. In a true marriage there is a sharing of a life – with all its joys and sorrows. In a true marriage the two become “one flesh,” and it is more than just a sexual union. The oneness is an acknowledgment of the couple’s interdependence.

The fact that Paul has already addressed the issue of sexual immorality in the previous chapter, it is not surprising that the first question he replied to had to do with marriage. The statement, “It is good for a man not to touch a woman”, is believed to be a question coming to Paul from the Corinthians. If so, it appears to be a question asking: “Should a married person continue to be sexually intimate with their married partner after becoming a Christian? Wouldn't it be more appropriate for married people who have received the Holy Spirit to live celibate lives?”

Paul disagrees completely. Here is what he wrote in First Corinthians 7:2-5, “Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

Paul’s answer is that sex is a very important part of marriage. Both husbands and wives owe it to each other to be sexually connected. The only concession he gives for an abstinence from married sex is by mutual consent for a short time to devote yourselves to prayer.

Given the availability of sex on demand in Corinth through ritual prostitution, he says people who are married should have relations with their husband or wife and no other. Will marriage solve all the problems of immorality? No. Not if there isn't a strong commitment to doing things God's way. In answer to the question, “How would the world be different if people didn't get married?”, Roberta, age 7, said, “You can be sure of one thing, the boys would come chasing after us just the same as they do now.” But Paul says that if the marriage fulfills the needs of each partner, then there is less chance of Christians acting in an immoral way.