Meeting Your Husband's Needs In Christian Marriage Series

Bill and Anabel Gillham give a list of the qualities a man needs in a wife. A Need For: faithfulness, for submission to his decisions, for encouragement when things go wrong, to be consulted for advice in making decisions and plans, to be confronted about flesh patterns. A man needs a wife with moral standards, who recognizes him as her spiritual leader, who respects him and lets others see that she does and a wife who is his partner in life. All these needs are very important to a husband’s well-being.

However, there are three specific male needs which are the most significant of all. The husband has a unique need for praise. The husband has an innate need to be head of the home. And last, but not least the husband has the need for marital physical intimacy. Each of these needs is related to an area of our unique makeup as a creation in the image and likeness of God.

In creating man God created them as a spirit, with a soul and a body. The needs that each of us has is related to the way we’re created. There is one area wherein both husbands and wives needs are exactly the same. It’s in the area of the spirit. And in that area they have one identical need. But when we depart from the spirit area and move into the other areas, we’re wired differently and have different needs. So today I want to look at meeting your husband’s needs in light of the three areas of our makeup. First of all let’s look at:

I.Meeting Your Husband’s Need in the Area of the Spirit

Now, this is the one area wherein both husbands and wives are the same and have one identical need. The need is to know Jesus Christ. Both husbands and wives, in fact all men and women have a deep need to know Jesus Christ intimately. When it comes to men and women the most important need of all is spiritual. And the most important aspect of that need is knowing Christ. The reason I say this is through marital struggles, we will all pass through some deep waters. In fact, Isaiah 43:2 says, “When you pass through deep waters, I will be with you.” He doesn’t say, “IF you pass through deep waters, but WHEN.” Deep waters will come to each of us, it’s just a matter of when. We’ll have many trials and tribulations both in life and in marriage, so that in them and through them we need to come to know the sufficiency of the Lord Jesus Christ to meet our every need. You experience that through a deep intimate personal relationship.

The story is told about the testimony of Doug given at a Lay Witness Mission. After introducing himself as Doug, he continued, “I’m very wealthy, so much so that I became bored with taking care of all my assets and hired someone to do that for me. I decided to pursue something else in life. I went back to school and got my doctor’s degree in biology then became a professor at a university in Texas. Well soon that became boring to me and I determined to pursue something else in life, so I decided to become a Christian. I went to the library and read a lot of books on the subject. I then aligned myself with a local church and because of my prestige in the community I was immediately placed on many important boards. It was no surprise to me when the pastor called one day and said, ‘Doug, we’re going to conduct a Lay Witness Mission in our church. Would you chair the committee to prepare for the team’s visit?’ And as a matter of course I said I would.”

Predictably, Doug did a super job in his preparation and now the weekend had arrived when all the lay people were converging on his church. On Friday night, the church members divided up into small groups of eight or ten people and one of the lay witnesses went with each group to a small room to tell about their relationship with Christ. Along with several other members Doug was assigned to a small group. He continues his testimony by saying, “As we were walking back to our assigned room, I began to evaluate the young man who was going to be sharing with us. He was very obviously a common, laboring man. He even had oil under his fingernails as if he might have been a mechanic. I began to think, I really should be in charge of this group. I’m quite sure that I could handle it much more effectively than he could.” They got to their room, sat down and the young man began talking. Doug said, “As he began to share about his relationship with Christ, I became intensely aware of something: That young man KNEW the Jesus that I was merely informed about.”