For Husbands And Wives Series

The Search For Significance

For Husbands and Wives

April 13, 2002

Intro: Last week I introduced this new series of messages by saying God has created us significant and he has significant things for us to do. He has many “good works” prepared for us to accomplish because we belong to him. I believe that one of the first places God has significant things prepared for us to do is in the home. As a husband or wife and or parent you can help make or break the future of those you live with. Now, I’m not negating personal responsibility—but your children are more likely to make some decisions based on what they saw their parents doing and living than anything else. Our families are in crisis today. Did you know there are as many divorces taken place in families who attend church as there are outside the church? Although that is a sad statistic there is hope. There is hope because I know there are many in this room tonight who are serious about their walk with God and what he wants to do in your homes.

Transition: Tonight I want to talk about significance for husbands and wives and how you can make an impact on your spouse. I realize that not everyone in here is married but I hope you will see how valuable this message is for you especially if you hope to marry one day.

Let’s read Ephesians 5:22-33 on the screen:

Transition: I realize that for many people these verses might not set well. It definitely doesn’t sound politically correct and “out of date with the new millennium.” But the Biblical calling for men and women must be captured if we are going to make the mark God wants us to make in our homes.

You see God is very intentional about how he structured the family and specifically the husband and wife relationship. It was not something that he half way did. He did designed it for a purpose. Husbands, you have a calling to fulfill. Wives you have a calling to fulfill. And the Apostle Paul clearly spells that out for us. It is a way to first of all bring order to the family.

Wives: God has called you to be submissive to your husband. Now before you throw tomatoes at me or tune me out please pay careful attention to the things I have to share tonight. Before I dive into that I want to first talk about the husbands role. I think a good grasp of the husbands role or calling in a marriage helps explain why submission is not only necessary but the best and easiest thing for the wife to do. The scripture clearly says for husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the church. I find it fascinating that God uses the marriage relationship to illustrate Christ’s relationship to us. “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands.” I wonder what kind of conclusions people are drawing about God based on our marriages? It’s a good question to soberly think about.

Men, God has called us to love our wives as Christ loves the church. I want us to really stop and think about this. This is some kind of love he is asking us to demonstrate and live out on a daily basis. Now, you tell me: Based on what you know about Christ, how does he lead and love his church? He was a servant. He took responsibility for the church. He laid his life down for the church. In the same way, we are to do the same with our bride. The kind of love we should have is an exclusive love; a love you have for no other woman. It should also be a realistic love. Falling in love with an imperfect person. I have news for you guys you might hear there is the “perfect girl” out there. That’s not true. You might meet the one who you think is perfect but spend enough time with her and you’ll see the imperfections creep in. It’s amazing to think that Jesus (a perfect being) would love an imperfect me. This love is also a sacrificial love, laying down your life before her.

ILLUSTRATION:

We have an example of the principle of "headship" in the recent tragedy involving the U.S. submarine Greeneville, which a few months ago surfaced suddenly underneath a Japanese fishing trawler off Pearl Harbor, sinking it and killing nine people. Since then, the skipper of the sub, commander Scott Waddle, has narrowly avoided a court-martial, and he is now resigning from the Navy, his promising career ruined. Why is that? Did he personally operate the controls that caused the sub to surface? No. Was he the sonar operator who was supposed to be monitoring the vessels in the area to make sure that none were too close? No. And what about the civilians on board? Weren’t they interfering with the activities of the crew? Quite possibly. But Scott Waddle was the skipper of that sub; he was in charge, and so it was his responsibility to make sure that the submarine was operating in a safe manner. The buck stopped with him. Men, in our marriages the buck stops with us. We are responsible before God.