When Sex Is Not Dirty: Matters Of Marital Intimacy Series

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. A day set aside in America for lovers. Valentine’s Day causes us to think of romance… Lovers in Paris… Marriage Proposals on bended knees… Of writing “Will You Marry Me?” on the Jumbotron of a large stadium somewhere… And who can think of Valentine’s Day without romantic music? From Marvin Gaye to Barry White.

We continue through our series in the letter marked as 1 Corinthians. And as we look at this letter, we arrive to a discussion on marriage. And over the next several weeks, we’ll see how the Bible addresses the practical questions of relationships in our day. Details are provided in today’s worship guide. We’ll examine the Permanency of Marriage – what are God’s rules on divorce? What happens when I am married to an unbeliever? What does the Bible say to singles? How about those who are single and are looking for someone to marry? This will be a great series to invite unchurched friends to in the days ahead.

We’re offering a couple of resources to assist you on the subject of marriage in addition to this series. The Book of the Month is What Did You Expect?: Redeeming the Realities of Marriage by Paul Tripp, a terrific Christian counselor. You’ll also be hearing more about a couples retreat our church is hosting entitled Let’s Get Real on April 15-16 of this year. My goal this morning to talk candidly about a very important subject matter, the subject of sex. My aim is to do with sensitivity and tactfulness. In contrast to what seems to be happening in some churches across our country, I want to do without embarrassing you, my wife, or myself.

“Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. 7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another” (1 Corinthians 7:1-7).

Paul is responding to questions he received from the church in Corinth. As he is replying to specific questions, this part of the Bible is a little like listening to one side of a telephone conversation. We hear the response but can only guess at what was said on the other end of the line.

1. When Sex is Right

In this discussion on marriage, the Bible begins by commending singleness. The city of Corinth was bombarded with sexually explicit messages. Much like we are today. In response to this over-binging on sex, some well-meaning Christians were choosing celibacy for life.

I see this in verse one: “Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman”(1 Corinthians 7:1). He repeats the thought in verse eight: “To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am” (1 Corinthians 7:8).

It is good to be single. We’ll delve into this in greater depth in the weeks to come, but simply put… Paul’s reason to say “Single is good” is different that your reason to say, “Single is good.” Paul cherished his singleness because it placed him in a unique position – utterly disposed to Christ: “I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another” (1 Corinthians 7:7).

Today, singleness is cherished because you don’t want anyone cramping your style. Yet, because singleness is not God’s design for everyone… “But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband” (1 Corinthians 7:2). Sex is designed to be with one person. In the context of marriage, sex is God’s gift to humans. I want you to see this clearly because the Bible lays down specific guidelines on the subject of sex. Just a few verses earlier in 1 Corinthians 6:18, the Bible has this to say about sex outside of marriage: “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18). Now, contrast this against verse two: “But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband” (1 Corinthians 7:2). Marriage is the gas pedal for sexual intimacy… … while singleness is the brake. The Bible clearly commands all unmarried people to celibacy.