Communication In Marriage Series

“Desperate Households”

Today: Communication

Ephesians 4:29-30

David Henderson, Pastor/Teacher

Today we begin a brand new teaching series titled Desperate Households. And for the next 9-10 weeks through we are going to be talking about the family. And I want you to know that in preparing for this series I have been thinking carefully about our congregation and also about our community and there will be some things in this series for everyone. These are the topics we will look at...

1. Understanding the differences in men and women. How we think...how we respond.

2. How to meet the needs of your spouse.

3. Words to women. How to become the woman of your husband’s dreams.

4. Mother’s day.

5. Message to all of our youth, graduating seniors.

6. What happens when there is trouble in paradise. Romance. Renew wedding vows.

Can we talk about romance in church? Absolutely. If you don’t think so read the Song of Solomon.

7. How to handle temptation. Whether married or not.

8. A word to all of the men. How to become the man of your wife’s dreams.

9. A message to all the Dads.

10. Finally a message to the church...the Family of God.

So with all of that, let’s get started. We will begin today with the topic of communication...how do we communicate with the opposite sex. This video we are about to see features Jim and Carol Shores, a couple who work as a comedy duo. They are called Acts of Renewal. I tink you will enjoy this.

A friend of mine who operates a large counseling practice in Central Kentucky, Dr. Ed Smith says that of the hundreds of couples he has spoken with that the most common complaint or question that seems to surface is this... Why do men do some of the things that they do? Why do women think the way they do? Why do we misunderstand each other so often? And he said that often it comes down to a very simple statement. Here it is. Men and women are different. You say wow pastor how long do you guys go to school to learn that? But what we find is that these differences that often attract us to one another are the same differences that can also divide us. So what is the solution? Let me give you a few scriptures to ponder for a moment.

Ephesians 5:25, 31-32 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." [32] This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church.

Colossians 3:9-10 Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices [10] and have put on the new self.

Ephesians 4:29-30 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. [30] And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God.

Malachi 2:16 "I hate divorce," says the Lord God of Israel, so guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.

Here is something that I have learned after 30 years of marriage and 31 years in the ministry and talking with hundreds of couples through the years...men and women really do not know how to talk to each other. And one thing is for sure...godly communication is essential to a good marriage. Yu can judge a marriage by how the couple talks to one another. Would you agree?

Now what do I mean by godly communication? Listen to this passage again. Ephesians 4:29 Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift. Another version. Ephesians 4:29

Don’t use bad language. Say only what is good and helpful to those you are talking to, and what will give them a blessing.

With that in mind I want to give you 5 Keys to godly communication.

1. Listen to what is being said. Proverbs 18:13 He who answers before listening--

that is his folly and his shame.

Do you remember how easy it was to talk when you were first dating? You could talk about anything for hours. You talked about your past, your future, your hopes... your dreams. You talked about your plans together. Now we are often so busy that we settle for leaving a short note on the table by the door. Then when we are together we often pretend to listen to each other while our minds are 100 miles away. We must learn to listen to each other. Turn off the TV. Put down the newspaper. Talk and listen.