Contributed by Mary Lewis on May 7, 2009
"Alex Haley, the author of ROOTS, has a picture in his office, showing a turtle sitting on a fence post.
He says, ‘Any time I start thinking, WOW, ISN’T THIS MARVELOUS WHAT I’VE DONE!’ I look at that picture and remember what I learned a
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Baptist
Contributed by Terry Barnhill on May 11, 2010
NO LONGER ON TRIAL
In a museum art gallery of old masters, one visitor was being particularly and audibly critical of these great works of art. Finally, an elderly attendant could stand it no longer and said, "If you please, sir, the pictures are no longer on trial...but the spectators are."
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Presbyterian/Reformed
Contributed by Curry Pikkaart on Dec 22, 2011
It's like little Mary who, having been naughty, was sent into her bedroom to "think things over." Coming out all smiles after a while, she said, "I thought and prayed."
Her mother said, "Fine! That will help you to be good."
Mary responded,
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Presbyterian/Reformed
Contributed by Perry Greene on Oct 16, 2012
A church member, noted for his "kickative mood and objective case," was challenged to construct a workable program rather than always finding fault with the attempts of others. "No," he replied, "you go ahead and make the plans, I will tell you what is wrong with them."
This is essentially how
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Feb 13, 2023
President [Lincoln] prefaced a discussion of the draft Emancipation Proclamation by reading aloud from a favorite humorist. In response to the disapproval of some members of his cabinet, Mr. Lincoln said: Gentlemen, why don’t you laugh? With the fearful strain that is upon me night and day, if I
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Independent/Bible
Contributed by Frank Gallagher on Feb 20, 2001
based on 98 ratings
| 4,939 views
A few years ago, I was watching David Letterman, and he was broadcasting his show from Las Vegas. He was doing his opening monologue and he told this joke.
He said that he was standing in front of one of the casinos, and a man came up to him looking desperate.
"Please!" the man begged
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Independent/Bible
Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 11, 2001
based on 404 ratings
| 13,191 views
Eph.2:4,5.
A young lady who occasionally walked through the park after work, stopped to have her picture taken by a photographer on this particular day. She was very excited about her picture being taken. As she walked out of the park, she looked at the polaroid picture in total amazement. She
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Contributed by Lynn Floyd on May 10, 2001
based on 123 ratings
| 2,538 views
I think we could all agree that we don’t have to teach children how to do wrong. Here are the property laws of a toddler.
a). If I like it, it’s mine. b). IF it’s in my hand, it’s mine. c). If I can take it from you, it’s mine. d). If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine. e). If it’s mine,
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Baptist
Contributed by Bruce Howell on May 16, 2001
based on 97 ratings
| 1,879 views
It is said that Cyrus, the founder of the Persian Empire, once had captured a prince and his family. When they came before him, the monarch asked the prisoner, “What will you give me if I release you?” “The half of my wealth,” was his reply. “And if I release your children?” “Everything I
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Wesleyan
Contributed by Jeeva Sam on Jun 28, 2001
based on 71 ratings
| 3,691 views
There is a story about the President of Anheiser-Busch who went over to the Vatican for a private audience with the Pope. The meeting went something like this:
“Holy Father, we are prepared to make a donation of $10 million to the church if you would simply replace ‘Give us this day
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Methodist
Contributed by Davon Huss on Aug 13, 2001
based on 55 ratings
| 2,134 views
H. John Wesley once had for a traveling companion an officer who was intelligent and agreeable in conversation; but there was one serious drawback- his profanity. When they changed vehicles, Wesley took the officer aside and, after expressing the pleasure he had enjoyed in his company, said he had
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 10, 2002
based on 6 ratings
| 2,414 views
Philip Yancey, author of The Jesus I Never Knew and other books, relates a time when he happened to be in Washington, D.C., when a huge gay-rights demonstration took place directly in front of the White House. He beheld a startling confrontation. There were about 40 mounted policemen forming a
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Contributed by Jim Luthy on Mar 15, 2002
based on 28 ratings
| 2,455 views
I was at a Mongolian grill once with three other pastors, one of whom wasn’t eating. Another of the pastors was asking him why he wasn’t eating, wondering if he didn’t have money or wasn’t feeling well. The pastor did not offer that he was fasting and I appreciate this pastor’s effort not to make
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Jerry Steen on May 16, 2002
based on 13 ratings
| 2,543 views
As a young pastor, I worked at a feed processing plant in Celina, Ohio. Each night when I went home, my boys would look at me and say, "Boy, dad, you sure are dusty!"
I grumbled within myself, but smiled at them and said, "Yes, I sure am dusty"
On a Saturday morning, I started washing my car. As
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Holiness
Contributed by Dana Chau on Jul 21, 2002
based on 2 ratings
| 1,657 views
Madalyn Murray O’Hair’s book, What on Earth Is an Atheist, asserts, "We atheists ... try to find some basis for rational thinking on which we can base our actions and our beliefs, and we have it ... We accept the technical philosophy of materialism ... Essentially, materialism’s philosophy holds
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*other
Contributed by Jim Kane on Oct 3, 2002
based on 43 ratings
| 2,422 views
A worried mother wondered where her daughter was on the rainy school day afternoon. She should have been home by now. The rain was heavy, the thunder loud, and the lightning was bright.
Finally, after a few anxious minutes she decided to put her coat on and look for her late child. Out the door
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Church Of God
Contributed by David Yarbrough on Mar 24, 2003
based on 167 ratings
| 4,535 views
TAKING HIM WHEREVER WE GO
There are certain things when your in a foreign country that you can’t bring back into the United States. Adrian Rogers tells of a time when he was coming back into this country and he was going thru security. Their was a man in front of Adrian Rogers who had some
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
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