Contributed by Tim Harlow on May 13, 2009
WHAT HE HEARD HIS WIFE SAY, "You’re way too stupid to be trusted driving alone in bad weather at your age."
WHAT SHE ACTUALLY SAID, "Drive carefully, dear."
WHAT HE HEARD HIS WIFE SAY, "Honey, why don’t you put your head in a vice and I’ll turn the handle until your skull explodes."
WHAT SHE
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
based on 1 rating
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Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that God is asleep when
it comes to nations, or that He is out of touch when it comes
to carnal banquets, or that He sits in Heaven wringing His
hands when it comes to godless rulers (and foolish
presidents!) who make unfair, rash, or stupid decisions.
Mark it
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Introduction: David had fled to Achish, king of Gath, in the land of the Philistines once before to escape Saul, the king of Israel and his own father-in-law (1 Samuel 21)! Now it’s a few years later and, once again, Saul is chasing David and, again, David fled to Gath. This time, David and his
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Baptist
Contributed by Keith Broyles on Nov 24, 2008
Buddy is what history has called a “Yellow Dog Democrat.” He would never disagree with that statement. He never has had anything good to say about any Republican that has ever held office. In fact the word “Republican” is almost always uttered with an expletive of one form or another. If a
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Methodist
Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 28, 2004
based on 9 ratings
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A young man learns what’s most important in life from the guy next door.
It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man. College, girls, career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear across the country in pursuit of his dreams. There, in the rush of his busy life, Jack
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Contributed by Dan Erickson on Nov 22, 2000
based on 106 ratings
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Two weeks ago there were about a hundred protesters picketing the Second Baptist Church of Houston, Texas. This was a group of Hindus who were upset that the Southern Baptist Convention was encouraging its churches like Second Baptist, which incidentally has over 10,000 members, to make a special
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Baptist
Contributed by John Hamby on Nov 6, 2000
based on 135 ratings
| 2,659 views
“Our English word witness comes from an Old English word we do no use very much anymore but we used it in Elizabethan times and afterwards. It is the word wit. ‘To wit’ means ‘to know’ A ‘wit’ is ‘a knowledgeable
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Baptist
Contributed by Scott Carson on Apr 8, 2001
based on 123 ratings
| 3,390 views
Michael Billester once gave a Bible to a humble villager in eastern Poland. Returning a few years later, he learned that 200 people had become believers through the use of that one Bible. When this group of believers gathered to hear him preach, he suggested that before he spoke he would like each
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Baptist
Contributed by Bruce Howell on Apr 12, 2001
based on 100 ratings
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Illus.: “Empty Offering Plate”
An artist who wished to paint a picture of a “dead church” visited a sanctuary with beautiful stained-glass windows and a magnificent pipe organ. Every pew was filled, but the offering plate, lying in the vestibule, was marked “FOR
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Wesleyan
Contributed by Sermon Central on May 10, 2001
based on 73 ratings
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It was June 18, 1815, the Battle of Waterloo. The French under the command of Napoleon were fighting the Allies (British, Dutch, and Germans) under the command of Wellington. The people of England depended on a system of semaphore signals to find out how the battle was going. One of these signal
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Contributed by Paul Fritz on Sep 22, 2001
based on 90 ratings
| 4,229 views
30 years ago two shoe salesmen were sent to Nigeria to survey the country for the possibility of building a shoe factory. The first man came back and said, "Few people here wear shoes so there is little need to build a new shoe factory in Nigeria. The second came back to London and said, "This is
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by R. Darrel Davis on Oct 27, 2001
based on 50 ratings
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In the Greek Islands, you can see the home of Hippocrates, the father of modern medicine. Near his house there is an olive tree, supposedly dating from his time. The trunk of this tree is very large but completely hollow; it is little more than thick bark. There are a few long, straggling branches,
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Baptist